Suggestions Chapter 4: Emotion and Reaction

Suggestions for Chapter 4: Emotion and Reaction

Put all of your suggestions, comments and ideas in here and we'll update the guide as we go.

The guide can be found here Tinnitus Help: The Guide

The content that goes in the guide will be for everyone. Please consider that this is for people from many different cultures and belief systems - don't be offended if there are certain things that don't make it in

 

I would suggest relaxation exercises, mindfulness exercises and CBT. I used relaxation exercises morning and night--Yasmine Buriak podcasts, free on the internet-- and many exercises that I learned in my anxiety workshop. They helped me through the 'flight or fight' war raging in my body from panic attacks to not being able to eat or hold down any food.

 

It's very normal to panic and get angry at the beginning! This is because, way back when our hominid ancestors roamed the African planes, the hominid who reacted to an unfamiliar noise with "yipes - snake/lion/hyena - RUN!" lived longer and produced more offspring than the hominid who took a more causal approach to the noise. We're descended from the "yipes!" crowd - the "fight or flight" response is hardwired into us. So don't beat yourself up over reacting badly at first. Many of us do.

Unfortunately that "flight or flight" response that serves us so well in other areas is useless when dealing with tinnitus: we can't run from it, and we can't fight it effectively. No wonder we get upset! However, getting upset is precisely the wrong thing to do. Spinning our wheels trying to stop the noise actually seems to make it settle in and become chronic. So don't beat yourself up, but know that your goal is to move beyond the emotional reaction and try to take steps in that direction.

Yes, it's hard. It's not fair. We have to ignore our hardwired response to find a different way of being. The good news is that it can be done - many of your fellow sufferers have found ways that work for them. I've found mindfulness meditation to be the most helpful for me, particularly the guided meditations of Eckhart Tolle. My favorite comment from Mr. Tolle: "Whatever you accept completely, you go beyond... If you fight it, you're stuck with it."

In the end, dealing with tinnitus is like dealing with any other anxiety producing situation: the harder you run from it, the harder it holds onto to you. Unlike our hominid ancestors, we need to stop running and stop fighting. When you stare tinnitus in the face without backing down, it starts to lose its power over you, and you're on your way to better days ahead.

 

I notice that when I focus on the ringing it can get louder. It's seems that it works well to ignore the pesky little brat and he will go away. I know for going to bed, when it's quiet, I can focus either on the sounds or smells from outside or think about something of little consequence that takes my focus away from the ringing. When I try to make plans, I end up not sleeping, because I'm trying to remember. If I try to figure out what to wear the next day, if I forget, I don't care. My mind doesn't go to sleep easily... Sometimes I play a podcast of someone with a calm voice. I have the volume just high enough I can understand the words. I rarely get past 15 minutes and I'm asleep. I can't do that with my husband home. The sound bothers him. So, I listen to him snore... Oh well... As long as it's not loud, I'm fine...

Also, I might sprinkle a favorite sent on my pillow that is a comfort smell. It usually is a favorite essential oil, like lavender, orange, tangerine or something with good memories.

 

Resist the urge to be compulsive about checking to see if it is there, or louder, or different...and try not to read constantly about it, if possible, because the goal (other than the possibility of spontaneous recovery, which is possible, the ear is very mysterious!) is to learn to ignore it. You must starve it of your attention. Of course you have to balance that against your real need to spend time learning about it, and reaching out to others for support and understanding. You have to learn about it so that you will know it is safe to ignore it, and you also have to learn enough to spend your time and your money wisely. You're coming to terms with a difficult thing so you need to spend time sharing with others about what you are going through, and giving yourself and others in your life time to adjust. Stay busy to stay out of your own head. Find a way to help others because that is both distracting and uplifting, and also helps remind you to put things in context. If the tinnitus doesn't go away over time, understand that you will need to go through the stages of grief- anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance - and therapy can help with that, and also can help resolve any strong feelings you might have about the cause of your T, usually guilt or anger. Therapy can help confront cognitive distortions that we all have, in varying degrees, because these distortions can hold back your progress. Give yourself plenty of tender loving care because you deserve it, and because lack of sleep or poor self care will likely make it worse, and make your ability to cope with it worse. Question anything that gets in the way of you staying relaxed....lifestyle choices, patterns or habits, your posture, your reactions to other people, scary movies, whatever it is. Read inspirational stories here, and do things that make you happy.

 

With Tinnitus comes lots of unwanted emotions that can be just as hard to deal with as the sound and both come from the same area of the brain so you can see why this happens.
The emotional response to Tinnitus can be mild to a total debilitating condition.
Panic,depression,anxiety,low mood not sleeping,lose your self worth and confidence and impacts on every day.

Getting through the day is hard and for some a struggle just to get out of bed and function as a family or live alone.
All this and the sound as well impacts
socially,emotionally and physically on our well-being and don't know where to turn for help.

With support and guidance from family and friends ,doctors,audiology,ENT,forums,counselling etc you start slowly on building yourself and your life back together and learn coping skills to deal with your sound.
I think Tinnitus Talk is the best place to come for support and between us all we cover most on what's to know about tinnitus and emotions.

Their is no magic wand for tinnitus but time is a great healer and for our emotional state too.