Coming Into New Awareness

THINKING

The main helper in dealing with T, aside from what I call audio therapy (high freq sounds), has been alcohol. A beer in the evening always (knock on wood) lowers the volume of T by a half.

So after the Saturday (a week after the concert) where I just 'did nothing" I started researching what circuits in the brain might alcohol be affecting. How can I achieve the same benefits but some other way?

There are a few candidates, but I'm not sure and want to be careful.

And with those anomalies I listed before, I am convinced that the T is mainly a brain activity (at this point). Even that pop and eee sound I heard (left and right) was probably not actually occurring in my ears but my brain.


ACTIONS

For the past week and a half, in the morning I listen to ACRN and swab the back of my ear/cranium and lobe and tragus with Juniper oil.

During the day, while driving I will listen to high frequency beeps. At home, if possible, more acrn, and possibly other Synth music of a kind I think good for the ears.

By the way, a site I like for ACRN due to it's larger fonts, is
http://scottsteffes.com/acrn/​

Also, while some supplements came in, I found I had a bottle of L-Theanine which I had ordered and never used, so I opened it and started using that.

I am trying to quash this T down to static and down down down in volume. Can zero be achieved?

 

I miss the rifle range.

 

Shoot, can't edit the ANOMALIES post, but one other...that added to my wondering

Also, a few mornings in the last 4 weeks...I could wake up..partially, I suppose... and have complete silence; If I went back to sleep and woke up, the T was right there immediately. Other times, if there was silence and I awakened fully, then within a minute the T would rise up to normal volume. Ugh.

 

Hi Portalnaut, I'm new here (T past couple of weeks) and I just read your thread. I'm curious - if you think back to before you knew you had T, what did a completely quiet room sound like to you?

I think I always been able to detect something very faint going on even in a completely quiet room. I actually always thought it was simply the sound that silence made. I'm wondering to what extent focus and shifted awareness plays a role in this condition.

Your last comment is something I've experienced as well. Now your brain *knows it's there*, it can't help trying to listen for the T, and suddenly it's there, up front and in your face.

Great thread by the way, really liking some of the youtube videos you posted.

 

@JohnAdams We all have to make adjustments along the way, and giant exposures is one of them.

Good luck.

 

@jamino My quietest rooms are like the bedroom, bathroom, and some office complexes in deep hallways. I measure these in the 30 decibels and maybe into the 40's, so 35-42.db. At those times, if the T is high or moderate the T stands out like a sore thumb. But there are times I've been lucky to have "almost silence." I do think I could experience true silence again and know it was silence. Currently when my T is quiet it is like a hot amplifier or very low static noise, and I can tell it's ~slightly~ in the background. But at 5 months I am not forcing myself to look for it. I imagine it's people in the first month or two who are constantly checking. I want low T days, and try to take them for what they are. Blessed relief.

Thanks for the kind words, and good luck.

 

So I'm getting close to 6 months into this journey. I'll report on where I'm at later. Overall....ok.

But in the "audio therapy" department, I wanted to list some sounds I like. I generally like sounds/frequency which make a noise and then quickly decay. And in looking for those, it turns out that Synth music fills the bill, and several will be highlighted here. As to the three videos below, I'm not saying I agree with their subsonic Isochronic frequency idea, but they do seem to have some idea about healing the mind, and I like that!

Note these videos are from Mind Amend and they have many more.

Code:

https://www.youtube.com/user/MindAmend/videos?disable_polymer=1

Cognition Enhancer For Clearer and Faster Thinking - Isochronic Tones (Electronic)

Code:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNuoGeD9Qeo

Cognition Enhancer For Clearer and Faster...

Intense Cognitive Workout, Enter a Highly Focused Mental State - Isochronic Tones, Electronic

Code:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKWwBNtGjy0

Intense Cognitive Workout, Enter a Highly...

Music for Studying to, Homework Music, Increase Focus and Memorization, Isochronic Tones ✪996

Code:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eiL4vbsEhI

Music for Studying to, Homework Music,...

The above uses music from music from Stellardrone, which come to find out is royalty-free. How nice! Their music can be found at

https://stellardrone.bandcamp.com/​

Of their songs, I really like the following one:

Code:

https://stellardrone.bandcamp.com/track/rendezvous-with-rama

​

Someone has posted an entire album of theirs at youtube:

Code:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDJn0SQehb4
Stellardrone - Light Years [Full Album]

Other good music at bandcamp I found include a collection by
https://ultimae.bandcamp.com

The following album, and the song called Life2 are nice to my ears

Code:

https://ultimae.bandcamp.com/album/life

 

6 MONTH REPORT

Well it's been a mixed bag in the last month. Overall, for 6 months, the T is not gone. So maybe at 12 months, or 24 months, or sometime if I'm lucky...

Right now, the T is variably loud during the day, and varying day to day. Mostly it is around 10.5KHz or when staticy perhaps 11.5 hKz.


I decided about a month ago that this whole thing is turning into a brain thing and took steps to give myself audio therapy and supplements to address that.

Because evening alcohol has been beneficial, like cutting T volume in half within a few minutes, I wondered what drugs/supplements might do the same thing. Not wanting to get hooked on Xanax, I researched otc supplements. Many paths lead me to GABA agonists and what not.

For supplements I first started with LTheanine. Eventually I tried GABA, and 5HTP, and Taurine, and also Tyrosine, It seems like some help but not 'quick' like alcohol, and maybe there is some mixture of one day this, one day that that might be in order.

I have also heavily been using audio, like ACRN and other beeping type audio, at least an hour a day or more for the last month.


Now I will tell you about some anomalies in the last 1.5 months which support the 'brain' conclusion.

ANOMALY 1
Sitting in our living room one morning, a sudden loud buzzing noise like a giant buzzy bee when "flying" from left to right with a doppler shift, and as the sound "went" right it trailed away to quiet. Weird!


AMOMALY 2
A couple of weeks ago, I woke up early one morning like 4am or 5am and the T seemed to be gone or very low like some 0.001 level. As I listened to the quiet, I heard intermittently the acrn pattern of beep beep boop boop beep beep. This "played" for about 5 seconds, then silence for a minute, then that acrn again! My brain was playing it for me!


Back to recently:
So for three weeks, the T had decreased, but then problems developed a week ago. I had focused strongly for about 3 days on a project and apparently did so too much or something, let's say, because whereas the audio and supplements had seemed to take T to a lower level after 3 weeks, it shot up to about double, and stayed there for a week, coming into this last Labor Day weekend.


Another ANOMALY, 3 days ago. .
I woke up at 4am when my wife's Ipad received an alert. And I noticed I wasn't sleepy, and then I noticed there was no T. I wondered how long this condition might stay. After a few minutes of quiet, I decided to get more active, and I stood up and headed out to use the bathroom. Back in bed, the T was still gone, and I read for 2 hours. So for 2 hours 4-6am no T. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up T was present. Sigh. But I figured this would be the case.

While I was in that 2 hour zone, I was wondering what can I do to keep this condition (at the moment) going. Would I blast it away by focusing on it or with worrying or by stressing or listening too closely? Anyway this is what I came to :

I treated this condition (silence) as normal: "This is normal."

But how to not focus on it or desiring it in a way that would drive it away?

I came to a conclusion that I could have a stance (when in possession) like being disconnected from the desire for no T yet still wanting that.
​

And then with that insight in hand, I looked at the other things in my life that I desire and perhaps that insight could work for them: Money, Sex, Power (not really), Approval, etc. And so if I achieve some of these thing, perhaps the same have/not-have stance could be taken.


Later, I was reminded of the passage late in 1 Cor 7, v29b-31a

...from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it.​

Future:
Areas to look at might be checking my Cortisol levels; is my brain in some fight or flight mode?

So to close, for now, I'll continue with experimenting with supplements and using a little less audio therapy.

Good luck all!

 

I just wanted to update this thread with a diagram I made that resonates with me. In months 3-6 I very often seemed to be in this loop:


I always seemed to be checking and even if I say "I AM okay" then in the next 1/2 moment I am at the second box and then back at the beginning again.

This, to me, is part of why T is a brutally tough enemy. It warps our internal systems of preservation and operations.

 

~about a 7 Month report

So this weekend I put some of my notes into a speadsheet and then made some graphs. As mentioned previously I created my own scale, relative to a standard noise.

MORNING T LEVELS
Either at wakeup or 5 minutes later



Admittedly in the early days my scale was not as refined as later, but T was loud. After the T didn't "go away" after 48 hours, I eventually saw an ENT and eventually got on Prednisone on day 12. The drug did a good job quashing the nosy signals from the ear hairs (I assume).

Also, in regards this graph and data, I did not keep detailed records on the 'loudest" T levels for day (I recorded it in a notes section on less than 1/4 of the days.) Now I wish i had it to plot it. But there were a lot of 100s and later some 50s and 25s.

You can see some spikes in July after I attended a concert by my son (who is in a band).


MORNING T IN RECENT WEEKS (PAST THE FIRST 2 NOISY MONTHS)
Either at wakeup or 5 minutes later



Above I added a blue moving average and an orange trendline.


DAILY EVALUATION (PAST THE FIRST 2 NOISY MONTHS)

At then end of each day I give a rough evaluation of the day ....good or bad, along a scale



In this grading, 5 is the cusp between good and bad. And as you can see days were quite variable above and below the cusp. Here I put a long period moving average in orange.


Note: I try to be have some detachment from the T even while noticing if its loud or soft. I record my notes so I can try to make sense of where I'm at and so if I'm trying things to see what might be helping or not.

I put my graphs out there for anyone that needs a detailed view of life with T.

I hope we all get by and get better.

 

I've had a couple of these and wanted to graph my view of it.


Where...it seems like there is some slow movement over several weeks where the T is lowering, and yet I try not getting overly excited but liking the slightly less bother, and then WHAM, the T spikes louder and says up for awhile.

Seems like I've had about 3 of these. So I've had to learn not to project any seeming success...like if there are quiet days, to enjoy them, but stay jaded, that they may not last, this may not be a trend.

And still somehow to remain hopeful.

But this T condition is a bastard because it seems to be sneaky and to know how to exert maximum pressure on me the sufferer.

 

@PortalNaut Are you an engineer?

Whenever I think I'm a detailed person I meet folks like you who make me look like an utter slob. Yes, there is some dust on my desk and smudges on my computer screen.

Now seriously,

Thanks for posting the info. It's interesting that you've noticed the see saw of t I've heard mention of on the site. Many people have said not to pay attention to daily t but the overall progression. I hope this is true. I seem to be in one of the louder periods the last week or two.

The morning t chart is awesome and it looks like you're not t much at all when you get up.

Have you noticed the t starts quiet in the morning and gets louder through the day? Does the tone change at all through the day? What is the tone?

I hope a day comes when you don't have to track t anymore.

 

Oops - should have said about that graph above that the downward slope is over like maybe 3 weeks, then up and flat for 1.5-2 weeks and then who KNOWS where it goes.

@New Guy yeah I have an engineering background. I can be sloppy, but capturing the data and modelling processes and gaining understanding is where I'm at. ABL, always be learning. Note learning can include re-organizing the inner process(es). Data that does not fit means the system must be modified. It took me a little while to be open to changing my inner views and whatnot.

T, in the morning...almost sets the tone for the day. You know, starts loud...stays loud, starts soft...stays fairly soft, etc. I have three main modes of hearing the T, a basic fairly loud high pitch tone, which I write in my notes as eeee, then ringing between 2 or more close frequencies, perhaps lower volume, which I met write as rrr, and then a quiet static type noise, which I write as sss in my notes. What I'm hoping for or think could happen is the T will drift to being a quieter and quieter sss and eventually be gone.

Now, I haven't mentioned it but a couple of months back I had an evening of complete silence or as near as it could possibly be, and when I woke up the next morning it was STILL silent for about 3.5 hours. Then as I ate my breakfast (it was Saturday), over the course of about a minute the T rose up from nothing to a low-level ringing, of about 25 on my scale. So it was like that graph above, darn it, except the T hit "zero".

This journey plays with the mind. Well, or...does it EXPOSE what presuppositions we hold? ack.

So I can't really guess the path, just have to do my part, currently ....administering supplements.

 

It's interesting that you notice 3 distinct types of t. Do these vary through the day or is it the same as when you wake up?

It sounds like you're making good progress, though like you say t will throw some curve balls. The chart with the spikes getting lower and lower was very encouraging.

 

Through the day, a fair amount of variable loudness, and the kind varies a little bit less - today we have rrr and sss when quieter.

I've read where people maybe have 4 tones and a tone and a buzz. Mine is up pretty much one tone or a slight buzz liek two toens close together. Center frequency is between 9-12kHz and on a given day might be like near 1050o, and then later maybe up or down 400Hz. When its quiet static sss its harder to get a read on what the frequency is.

Right now it is 11426 Hz. I actually hadn't bothered checking the frequency in a couple of months.

I hope the blasted T goes away, or said another way I hope my brain gets tired of having a faulty circuit/loop that makes this sound. I am hopeful some supplements are aiding. Alcohol in the evening still helps reduce the loudness, and I wish I could find the right combination of substances to mimic that. Next week I'll give an update on what I'm taking.

 

So I mentioned above that I would post on the supplements I'm currently taking. The goal was to find something to "duplicate" the T reduction that alcohol in the evening gives. So far nothing quite is the same as alcohol, not really close, but the pattern I think is helpful to reduce T during the day.

Note - this report is at close to 8 months now.

So I began this, without looking at notes, about 2 months or so ago.
- - -

It took 2-3 weeks to find what things might work well together and which ones in some cases do nothing or hurt.

First the supplements, the capsule size, and the area they affect:

5HTP, 100mg, Serotonin
DLPA, 500mg, Dopamine

L-Tyrosine, 500mg, Dopamine​

Taurine, 500mg, tinnitus reduction (has many studies on it)
L-Theanine, 200mg, Inhibitor
Gaba, 750mg, Inhibitor

Niacin, 100mg, for supposed GABA brain uptake in brain​

Still take B12 2x500mcg in the morning.

- - -
SCHEDULE:

What is working best is to take 5HTP 3 times during the day like morning, noon, and 5pm.
In between take DLPA so like 10am, 2pm, and also like 4pm sometimes

Then if things are nosier then I might take Taurine or Theanine. It's pretty common I take those between a DLPA and the next 5HTP.

Very occasionally I'll take Tyrosine later in the day.

- - - -
GABA is pretty much off the list, though I might take one once a week to experiment. And while I took it with Niacin 4 times, the Niacin gave me that irritation that it is famous for, so oh well, I'm not using the Niacin with it anymore.

A note about 5HTP: I found many studies centering on it, and have seen a couple mention the problem at high Serotonin levels that Dopamine will be driven down. So that's what the DLPA and occasional Tyrosine are somewhat for. In fact, I like the fact that the two (5HTP and DLPA) alternating through the day is like a one-two punch to the ol' brain circuits.

Also, re the 5HTP, before I started taking it I thought it's reputation was that of a "feel good" drug or to reduce anxiety, but I don't really think it has much if any effect on me that way. On the other hand who knows, hey hey hey!

 

The random sudden pop/ringing is common for T sufferers. The best theory I have on this is that your brain realizes an issue and does some sort of "reset frequency sweep". Sometimes when I have bad days where the T is loud, I get one of these episodes and actually stops my T for a while which is why I label it a reset. When it first happens, the ringing gets super loud your hearing is reduced, then gradually tapers down accompanied by a strange feeling but that subsides within a few seconds and everything either goes back to normal or sometimes the T is temporarily gone.

 

Thanks @Nick M for that comment. I'm calling these things anomalies as they are out of the ordinary, but while unsettling a bit, for me anyways, it sure shows that the brain was involved in the pop, the whoosh or whatever.

The noise generally did die down, but I can't say whether the post level of T was lower.

Btw, I've had them when doing nothing, and at least one time when opening my jaw. But I've investigated (what i can) and don't think it's related to any physical acts.

 

So...time for an insight. I learned something big or new (to me) about gratitude.

Up at post 71 I showed a graph of slow gradual downward movement followed by a spike up. The time duration is over weeks. This has happened to me at least three times. Recently, maybe a month ago. Sigh, I don't really want to type the next part, but I will and be honest in case it helps someone. So...when I get near the lower part of it, I used to start thinking of how (gulp) good it will be good when T is gone, like in a year. I mean, who can tell the future? But there I was forecasting and predicting an outcome I wanted.

So then on about the 3rd or 4th time of one of those slowly lowering T "graphs", when I had some quiet T times, I stopped myself from forecasting into the future, saying no it is only low-ish T now.

And suddenly it became clear. I can only be grateful for the low volume RIGHT NOW.

- - -

And fwiw in the past, I was often disappointed shortly thereafter by a spike up. Are they connected?

- - -

Having learned that gratitude is in-the-moment has also made me more a bit more accepting of whatever my current T level is. I also saw that forecasting low T in the future and trying to be grateful for that outcome in-advance (!!!) just does not fly.

- - -

These are priceless but tough lessons, and of course I am still wanting T to have low-impact or be gone in the future, but I have to take it (it seems) one day at a time. Or haha 10 minutes at a time

 

Well I'm at the 9 month mark. This is not going to be a grand summary, but more of an update on recent things.

So I added a new supplement about a month ago and it I think is helping. Here's how I found it. I was searching for something for my wife, household wise. I found the household item at Amazon and read the reviews, and found a lady's review and wondered if she was a shill or whatnot, and so read few of her other reviews. In amongst her reviews was one for an item which she said reduced her Tinnitus by 90%. Wow! So I looked up other such products at Amazon and looked through the reviews if there were 50+ reviews. The item has multiple uses but with a big enough base I could find people who commented positively on the effect on their Tinnitus. Yes I found reviews mentioning improvement in T.

So then I looked through the scientific literature and there were many with actual reduction of tinnitus. I didn't figure I couldn't reproduce some of the procedures, but that's okay. I did find out there is a standardized extract, EGB 761.

I then checked TT and found a survey which asked if this thing helped, and 10% gave a solid yes. I asked myself why couldn't I be part of that 10%? (Also note, the survey also had a category of they improved but can't tell if it was from this item).

So I bought some and tried it very slowly, but as I found it seemed safe and somewhat helpful, I added it to the supplements I take 3x per day.

The new supplement: Gingko Biloba

Taking it now for about three weeks, there is a wholesale difference in the T level from before I wasn't taking it. So now I take 3 times a day 5HTP, DLPA and Gingko Biloba. If the day's T is a little high in between I take some of the other supplements mentioned further above. The effect.....is I'd say a reduction in T by half.

- - - -
Now here is a strange tale. I have only told three people I have T. My wife, a son, and a man at church. But the other week, at night I was in a church meeting where we broke into groups. I knew most of these guys pretty well. One man told of a friend who had gotten addicted to alcohol so bad he was hospitalized 2 months ago. Once he got out he wound up getting on Xanax and went whole hog on it, eventually taking so much, now he is hospitalized and they are trying to ween him off Xanax. Well there was a brief discussion, and I contributed a bit about Benzo's that I knew. After I mentioned reducing the dosage in a stepped manner (in general terms), a gentlemen mentioned one time he had ringing in his ears and was given Prednisone and then had a taper over the last few days. Well this led to a few questions by another man about tinnitus, and various people admitted they had T, and I admitted it also, and in the end I was amazed to find 6 of the 10 men there have T! I've known most of these men for 4-5 years, and no one had mentioned their condition. Wow. I am still processing this, and thinking of burdens that people just carry quietly, and T in particular.

 

Thanks for the update @PortalNaut,

I'm at about the 9-month mark myself (2-3-18, a day that will live in infamy). One of the first things I did at that time was to start taking a concentrated gingko biloba extract. Instead of reducing my tinnitus, it actually seemed to increase it instead. A few months later I ran across a comment about how some things we take for tinnitus can actually initially make it spike, but that's often an indication it will help in the long run. -- I've been trying to work up the courage to give it another go. Your story will likely be a catalyst for that. -- Thanks!

 

It seems really strange to me, but some people do not care they have it. My uncle is one of them. He has heard loud crickets for 20 years and no one every new. I ask him why it doesn’t bother him and he said it just doesn’t. Some people it just doesn’t phase them.

 

@Lane I hope it treats you well. Asn an example of something that raised T....I tried NAC a few times many months ago, but T seemed to get a little louder, so stopped. At this point, I myself would try it again if need be.

Edit: re-reading your comment, my rule of thumb so far has been that whatever supplement or practice or exercise I do take/use needs to not make T worse when I start it, but I can certainly believe that some might behave as you mentioned (worse as brain adjusts, then ultimately better). To note, you at 9 months must be different than you at 3 months. That's why I would reconsider NAC among other reasons.

- - -
@Jason37 Yes I bet there is a varied response. My ENT told me some are and some are not bothered by it. Thinking of people who have it worse than I do and yet aren't bothered is definitely a strange idea to me, but more power to those people.

- -
Forgot to mention something that has occurred in the last 3-5 weeks since taking all these supplements: there has been some headaches, sometimes daily. I wind up taking 2-4 acetaminophen (500mg) basically each day. And here's a strange occurrence, I woke up one morning with a medium headache and felt desperate for relief from the headache, and didn't even consider the T. Like I had one problem right then, the headache. Not that I forgot about the T but I was begging for relief from the headache and the disparate focus on these two conditions did strike me.

So here's what I think I am trying to do with these supplements: soothe my brain to have it calm down some (and maybe not generate the T). For this I would think GABA would be the right tool, but the combo I mentioned above seems to have more practical benefit. And if headaches come as part of this exercise I will accept them (for now at least).

 

They also don't test for speech in background noise, meaning hearing loss relating to background noise "below and above" 8khz won't be tested. Music will sound broken and they will give one a clean bill of health. Best bet is to hope for a clinical trial that is suppose to regenerate cochlear hair cells.
https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03616223

 

So now an update, where I've had a variety of experiences, and had to had have some space since them to view them down the line a bit

So this is all in the context of talking my three main supplements three times per day.

About 3 weeks ago, I had some really noisy T come up on me, like on my scale, of 100+ and probably 200. It was very bothersome, annoying and everything related. The next day I woke up with T of like 50 on my scale, and that is still much louder than I've been having, but better than the day before. And then the day after this, the T was practically zero, perhaps 0.5 on my scale if anything. Amazing. I can still can't quite understand how I went from fairly quiet T to this huge spike, and then practically to zero.

Since then I have had 3 days of practically zero also. So I take it as the brain continuing to adjust and I'm hoping tamping out it's T responses.

Oh yes, when I consider what was possibly going on for that loud 100+T day.... I was very stressed. A client had moved a date up on me and had a million things to do the day before this, and then had to handle the remaining tasks that day. I also had to communicate and perform in ways I wasn't planning. I pulled it off but internally I was on high alert.

Since then I am gaining some insight that less stress is better for T.
- - -

So since getting T sometimes I think the T process is like having the gain tuned up on an amplifier. I've noticed in the last month, several times at night, where I am watching tv, and then pause it so the room is quiet, I hear a slight whirring noise...and found it was the hard drive spinning in a DVR box 20 feet away. Hmmm. I have heard it before over the years I suppose occasionally but never acutely aware.

Another thing is a couple of times I heard a weird noise which I found out was I hearing the bubbles coming up or releasing themselves in a soda can nearby.

So even though I want the brain to get settled I think it is still "on the lookout" and possibly amping up these small noises, and so I think it must be sensitive to (or helping make) T.

- - -

Now something practical which many of must experience, but I had ignored the impact of a noisy car. One day when driving on the freeway on a concrete curved overpass which was very noisy, I measure 90db inside the car.

This made me consider if I should get a new car. Now it turns out I like my current one, but it needs a few repairs and a paint job and so I wondered whether I might sell the car, take the proceeds and any repair costs I was considering and get a car that was a quieter. So I wound up testing driving about 4 cars from dealers, and measured the inside noise while driving around. For general freeway driving, these cars were very quiet, and what I heard was "just" tire noise and engine noise. Subjectively it was a much better experience for the ears.

During this, I bought some weatherstripping for my car, as a major problem was an air gap on the driver's door from when someone tweaked my door when they t-boned me at low speed a while back. It took me a while to find the right combination of placement, but now my car is as quiet as some of those cars I tested. Now the car noise is tire noise + some engine noise. The net result is on normal freeway asphalt, the car is high 70's db inside like those cars I tested. Bounces up to 83 or 84 occasionally but so did those other cars.

I'm of course glad for the improvement. The weird thing is that after concentrating on car noises for 5 days or so, it took a week for my awareness of car noise to drift away. Also, I think during this time My T was slightly louder, from the attention I was paying.

 

Another week or so has gone by, and I have a couple of tidbits.

I told my wife what I'm trying to do, and thought I'd share it here:

• Help brain stop 'making' T
• Have brain calm down
• Form new pathways in brain

- - -
And for whatever reason, I've been having stressful Fridays, and stress does seem to make T go up, so (genius) I'll just try to reduce stress. Well, I may not be able to reduce the stressful situations (though I can try) I probably have to put in place a bit more Stoic philosophies, and try to control just what is my power. And also means letting 'outside' things have less impact on me. I guess a couple of the stressors was running into two giant encounters with govt/big-corps and I was both fearful and feeling SO powerless. And it struck a chord with me, like resonating with some things in my life and past. I mean, regardless of those situations, I need to still reduce the impact of those prior life experiences. What can I control? My preparation, my commitment, and (so they say) my attitude. The first attitude is that I will survive and then when ready I can look for the healthiest and best element for me. Sorry but while I'm on this...I looked at this and found there varying level of responsibility and letting go for each situation, and for me to try to act like my desired outcome is 100% necessary was killing me, and the idea that I could cause it to happen was an illusion mainly to (allegedly) reduce anxiety. But the whole arrangement was for ego protection and a fail. I think more self honesty would help my self. The stress from lying to self, and the energy involved in maintain fictions and facades is significant. But it seems there is another way, presumably less stressing.

I'm not saying I'm a big time liar, but I found the situations that make me feel powerless both reveal something false about my assumption(s) and my attachment to something deep.

Who knew the T journey would bring this clutter to the surface?

- -
To the obvious point that yes T is something I'm powerless over, yes to 90% of it. But I think my avoiding loud noises, taking supplements, trying to be responsive to what my body is telling me maybe is helping nature take its course.

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So a change in my supplement regimen: Last Monday I had some medium T (like 20, 25 on my scale), so I decided to begin substituting St. John's Wort for Gingko Biloba. So SJW is now in the 3 supplements I take 3 times a day. I did this out of the feeling that maybe the brain gets used to a certain set of conditions, and I need it to keep presenting slightly different conditions to it.

In the days that followed, T was much much lower. So I think every 3-4 weeks, I'll do something like switch out SJW and GB, to keep the brain on its toes.

 

That's great news. As long as it's moving in the right direction it's great news!

 

Been a while, so here's an update:

I have had mixed success, but the main thing remains is that the tinnitus is fairly low/moderate, maybe a max of 15 or 10 on my scale. And then in the evening, particularly if a 5 or so, then alcohol can take tinnitus to zero or near zero. I definitely do look forward to being able to have dinner and a beer.

Also, I was experimenting with Brandy's, and found 1 oz before the beer really quashed the tinnitus down. I hope I don't become an alcoholic! I wonder if like in the future should my tinnitus be lower, will I break these habits.

As to supplements, I've switched SJW and GB in and out of the 3 I take 3 times daily, where I use one of those for like 2 weeks then switch. I also tried some L-Tyrosine on an afternoon when the tinnitus was kind of ringy and the tinnitus responded by quieting, so I've taken that a few times. I also showed my doctor the list of supplements at a checkup and he was fine with all them, but didn't like the Taurine (it's in Red Bull) so I've stopped taking that (which had been only intermittently).

For some reason I do feel I may be in a bit of rut, and I don't want to plateau, so I added a little bit of audio therapy again, like listening to ACRN at my frequency (11.4kHz) for 5 minutes on some mornings. Also I've used my audio app by Sonic to play sounds in the 10-12,000 Hz range, while driving. I also listened to the songs on page 2 of this thread this morning and maybe they didn't have a direct impact, but felt good.

Lastly, I have hope (which at root makes no sense) but I have no ability to control the outcome things, I can just make slight adjustments. I read something which said when we have pain we can't control, we are vulnerable, and recognizing that provides an opening to other things like Love. My marriage is doing okay and my wife is wonderful, and I've had to do a lot in our household in the last 2 months that me of 2 years ago would have fought doing, so there a is chance there is something in me which is being beaten into submission by being in the grips of this bastard tinnitus.

 

Two "miracles" and a bit of reality


tldr:
1. Experienced an oil-anointing, and had a pretty good month
2. Can hear some higher frequencies now
3. Been stressed and now sick with a headbold and T bounced louder a bit, but not worried


As you may know from reading earlier posts, I am a Christian and go to church (where I have issues over the 100db volume). Also weekly I attend a small group of about 6 people in a local person's house. And there, the hostess had gotten a vial of oil from the Flowing or Leaking Oil Bible. If you look it up, there are youtube videos with millions of views. The people involved to do not charge for the oil, and give it out to people who come to one of their stops. Locally, a small church nearby of 50 people had met one of the Oil people in another city and had invited them, and they came out to our state. My small group hostess sometimes attends the small church and so was able to attend, observe the Bible and the oil and hear stories. Then the next week we had our small group and offered to anoint us per

James 5:14-15a
Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord;...that he may be restored.​

I felt I could hardly let this opportunity to go to waste, so I took the anointing, which was made on my forehead and I also asked my ear lobes to be touched with the oil.

So.....

The next two days were the quietest I ever had. And the low volume T continued. You can see the graph below. Now sure, people can attribute two days to positive thinking or some psychosomatic cure. But as you can see the graph below, it covers a month plus about a week after the anointing. The scale isn't perfect, and that Stress period was at the one month mark from the anointing. As to the anointing, I had doubts and concerns, and frankly some fears. I don't say God cured me, but I will testify that my T got better at least at this time, and that is something. To people who want to argue what would have happened without the anointing, it's true we can't have a control test of me not having gone through this.

As to my T during that month:
There were some days where if you told me I had T and didn't know about it, I'd have said you were wrong.

By the way, as to other people anointed, I know of three others who got helped, including one scheduled to have her colon removed, and that now is not necessary.






Now, #2, that same day of the anointing (which occurred in the evening) my T was very loud and I had taken every supplement I had to try to stem it, but when I got home from the small group meeting, something else happened. I was watching a movie and liked a song in it, and I went to a computer and looked it up, and then downloaded it as an mp3. As I played the mp3 in Windows Media Play, I suddenly remembered that WMP has an equalizer in it. So I got to those controls and slid the 8k and 16k sliders up, and the music sounded wonderful. So I realized that whereas I used to think I couldn't hear anything above 12.4kHz and that's that, I should probably go ahead and present the higher frequencies to me ears/brain.






So...for a month I have listened to 1-2 hours of music with enhanced treble. And in the car, also I set treble up 75% or so.

Now in the first week after the anointing I was using a frequency analyzer playing sounds, and I found I could hear up at 13.4kHz, and also some small sounds at 15k. Wowee!



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Yes there came two spikes, where I stressed myself over research and deadline for a decision for something for a deadline in 3 days, and then recently I have a head cold. During the stress, I was concerned that T might have risen again, but I was glad to see it come down again. However, the head cold is presenting issues and increase in T, but seems coming down also.

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As this post is kind of long, I will wind it up, and in the next one present some info about music and sounds.

God help us all with this T. And for people who are bothered my presentation, at least be open to the possibility that the complexity of the world cannot always be easily fathomed and what strings what together may be unseen. Brains and nerve endings need healing, so please look within and without.

 

So first just a minor update: T is a bit noisier here and there over the last week, but still livable and I would say lower than the purple line in the graph above.

Frequencies: The T seems to be climbing to a bit higher freq now. It used to be 11.4 kHz for a long while, but now it's more like a wispy or staticy 11.8 or 12.1. I think because it's "on the move" that's why it's a bit louder than the very quiet days I have had. And since I can't hear much in the 12-13kHz range and nothing really above there, part of me is thinking "good, maybe T will get pushed up into a range I can't hear!"

Therapy: There is benefit I think to strobing my ears with the high frequencies, like 12-20kHz. I can definitely sense my brain reacting even if I'm not hearing the high freqs. I can use my phone app, or a variety of websites. The tuner at audionotch has one of the better sliders and scale for this.

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Now for the other technical details mentioned a week or so ago: when I was playing some mp3's that I had downloaded I noticed that some had cutoffs, at 11kHz or 13kHz or 15kHz. So I looked at the original songs, usually at youtube, and redownloaded them and tested the files. Some downloaders are better than others! You can consult your own conscience and whatnot about whether downloading is something you approve or not.

GOOD DOWNLOADERS - If the song goes up to 20kHz, then these will carry it over in the processing to the resulting file.

Code:

Easy-youtube-mp3.com
mp3-youtube.download.
    a little slow to process, and to download
dlnowsoft
   

BAD DOWNLOADERS - these cutoff at 11-15kHz

Code:

Ytmp3.cc
Youtubnow.com (not a typo)
Offliberty.com  cuts off at 15k
www.onlinevideoconverter.com  - has similar cutoff at 15k, with noise above) 

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Finally, I have passed the one year mark, and I think there's nothing major I have to say about it. Just feels like the battle goes on.

I still am struck that we had a men's meeting a few months go and 8 of the 10 men had T, but no one had discussed it. People I've known for up to 9 years. I think for about 1 or 2 of them it was a major (or medium) impediment and the for the rest it was not a big factor and they live their lives fully around it. I'm glad at least here there is support and camaraderie for us T folk who find little support out there in the real world.

Hoping all have a good 2019.