Despite Thinking I Achieved Habituation, the Truth Is I Did Not — I'm Close to Giving Up

Discussion in 'Support' started by Gl0w0ut, May 16, 2019.

    1. Gl0w0ut
      Inactive

      Gl0w0ut Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Despite thinking I achieved habituation, the truth is I didn’t. Not in the long run anyways. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. My life is so severely affected by this damn ringing.

      I can’t sleep without several medications and other aids, I can’t enjoy the quiet anymore, I can’t concentrate, I can’t relax, my happiness is dampened, my entire life feels like a game of being happy in spite of this damn condition. A condition that never improves, but only stays stable if you’re good and has 1000 things that make it worse.

      My stress response has been so hyperactive that my adrenal glands have down regulated by a lot. So much that almost getting into a car accident barely made me flinch. My only means of escape are drugs that temporarily remind me of how good life was before all this.

      Why...just why did I get stuck with this at age 22? Why not 62 when most of my hearing is gone and it doesn’t matter since I only have 10-15 years left?

      It’s been 2 years now and I’m exhausted. I never feel relaxed or refreshed anymore. I beginning to crave that sweet release from this awful affliction.

      I am here for now, but goddamn I don’t want to be.
       
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    2. GlennS

      GlennS Member Podcast Patron

      Tinnitus Since:
      1992
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      • Like Like x 1
    3. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not sure
      Hang in there. Because you are still very young you can't rule out the possibility that the pharmaceutical world will come up with something that may fix T. It is also possible that after some years for the severe case, or after some treatment, things do improve. There are also people who have gotten better who were like you struggling in the first year or two but get better later. Try not be too emotional as humanly as you can, to prevent the brain from zooming in to monitor T non-stop. The worst thing is through our actions and thoughts we are reinforcing to the brain that T is a mortal threat which keeps the brain zooming in and monitoring it non-stop. Do what you humanly can to find something your are interested in to keep the mind off from T. Distraction will help alleviate T.
       
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