Devastating News

I just found out my uncle has only days to live, which doesn’t come as a shock (because of how ill he is), but he hasn’t been told which makes it even more heartbreaking. He knows he’s got cancer but doesn’t realise the extent, and is now under palliative care from the amazing McMillan nurses. He has always been a well built, active guy, so to see him as skin and bones is awful. Only last year he was on my brothers roof retiling parts of it.

At the same time, my dad is progressively getting worse due to his longstanding heart failure. He no longer works, or leaves the house, which is totally out of character. My dad is the type of guy who would still go to work with his leg hanging off. To make matters worse he is slowly losing his sight, to glaucoma, as the drops he’s got aren’t working. Yet, he cannot get an appointment no matter how much we ring or complain. They said he has to wait until they have a space. Unreal. He has severe chronic tinnitus on top of all this and yet he has never once moaned or complained about any of his problems (he’s also had cancer twice). I swear he is superhuman because nothing ever phases him, whatsoever.

Now, about an hour ago, I’ve been informed my cousins dad, who I also know, has just been diagnosed with cancer in his lymph nodes. My cousin hasn’t stopped crying. It’s not a great time in our family at the moment.

On top of all this, I’ve just recieved my referral letter to see a rheumatologist - alongside the oteopath and pyshio I see - as my joint pains make me feel about a hundred years old at the moment. And then my car just packed in so I’ve got to scramble to find a replacement. Absolute worst timing ever.

I tell you want though, even though this is one of the shittest months on record, I find I’m gaining more strength to help them, and others. This place has been a great outlet to channel all that negative shit into something positive.

 

I’m sorry man, what an absolutely devastating situation. We are all here if you want to rant and try and not take too much on yourself as your health is also important, I’m all for being there for loved ones and would moves mountains to help them but sometimes you can start to wear away trying to be the columns of support.

 

Just been to my uncles and it’s so tragically sad. He’s lying in bed with his fan on and it’s so upsetting to see how ill he is. There’s nothing left of him. In two weeks he has deteriorated quite dramatically; I don’t think he’ll be around much longer.

 

@Ed209: Losing loved ones is the toughest experience one can go through. I’ve only been on this sight a short while, but I have come to respect and admire you. You just held that tinnitus fundraiser, and are always there when people are in need, while eschewing your own concerns. Everybody is here for you.

 

@Ed209

I am so very sorry that you are experiencing such devastating news, Ed. Like @Anselmo said previously, we are all here for you.

 

@Ed209,
So sorry to hear about your uncle and my heart goes out to you and your family at this devastating time,he needs you all now and all the love around him.
Your dad is amazing and the strength to go through everything and Tinnitus must rub off on you through your hard times too!
Treasure all your time together and telling him how much you love him and cherish every visit with him as they are our rock.
Your cousins will need you also as faces a lot to come.
I know you have problems also Ed209 and here for you always on and off the forum.
Stay strong together as a family and face what comes together and lots of love and hugs when words are hard to find..
love glynis xxx

 

You are so special @Ed209. I understand the pain of watching and losing loved ones. I hope you find peace and your heart is filled with love from those around you during this trying time.

 

Wishing you strength and peace throughout all of this.

 

Ed209,
Thinking of you today dear friend xxx

 

Wishing you and your family peace and strength at this most difficult time.

 

Thanks for the support it means a lot. I can’t believe how all this has come together like it has. I feel like I’m being tested at times.

 

So much going on in your life. Thanks for sharing your story. This is a lot to go through. I'm sending you strength and courage.

 

Oh no. Just read your post. I'm very sorry to hear all of that. Life can be a total b*** sometimes, and it seems it's mostly the nice, kind-hearted people in our lives who get it the worst. I wish you strength and we stand by your side, Ed.

 

Sadly, my uncle passed away this morning holding my aunty’s hand. From diagnosis to death he had an horrific time (literally 2 weeks of hell) and I can’t emphasise enough how much pain he went through. A month ago he was working and fishing and loving life.

I’ve just been to see him as we had the call that the end was coming but we all missed it. By the time I arrived he had slipped away and I’ll never forget how he looked in the bed. It’s enough to give you nightmares as he was just a skeleton with skin on. He didn’t suffer at the end as they basically made him comatose with a cocktail of drugs. He never woke up after that. Everyone is distraught and even the McMillan and local care nurses said it’s one of the worst cases they’ve dealt with. How they do this every day totally amazes me; they are some of the best people you’d ever wish to meet.

It’s at times like these where I look at my daughter and realise life is so limited and short. So, get out there and do the things you love while you can because at some point the choice will be made for you and you won’t be able to.

 

If anyone wants to do a good deed today, donate something to McMillan as their work is extraordinary.

 

@Ed209,
My thoughts are with you and your family at this devastating time .
Here for you anytime on and off the forum.
lots of love and hugs...
love glynis x

 

Have strength. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Oh Ed, I don’t usual read the general forum so wasn’t aware of the painful things happening for you and your family.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your uncle.
Your Dad would be seen promptly if you had a private appointment, probably same Consultant as NHS. Could that be possible for your brave Dad.
Life throws a barrow load sometimes, if you know what I mean.
Thinking of you and your family Ed.
Eve ❤️
@Ed209

 

Oh @Ed209. I know hospice people are so very special. I went through something similar when my uncle passed away. He was in a veteran's hospital in the state of Iowa (WWII veteran). They made sure he was never alone which was one of his greatest fears.

The hospice people also helped us with dealing with what was happening. I could never be more thankful and we donated to their organization in his name.

At his military service with honors I was presented the flag that was draped over his casket. It was the most important moment of my entire life. Before he died I wrote his story with his help and it still lives on in a Veteran museum.

Our memories need to be preserved.

 

@Ed209 im so sorry buddy. My thoughts are with you and your family. Stay strong.

 

Very sorry for your loss, Ed.

 

I’m so sorry Ed.
Witnessing serious illness in our family members and people we love so deeply is so hard on us all, particularly as we are not emotionally and physically so well ourselves.
Thinking of you,
Love
Dave
xx

 

@Ed209
Sorry to hear this news about your uncle. No more pain or suffering.
Cancer is devastating, and takes too many.
I hope you find peace and comfort in your happy memories.
Thinking of you,
Sam x

 

Ed! so sorry about your uncle, he's in a better place now.
hope everything gets back to normal soon.
you are one of the most admirable members in here,
sending lots of postive vibes to you and your family

 

Ed I am sorry for your loss. I am also shocked at how quick it took place (2 weeks). I thought cancer was something that was more drawn out.

 

Thanks Mario, and good to see you around. Haven’t seen you in a while.

 

It was one of the worst things I’ve ever, personally, witnessed. No one should have to go through what he went through.

Thanks Sam.