Emotions and Expectations — What I've Learned on My Tinnitus Journey

Discussion in 'Support' started by fishbone, Dec 24, 2019.

    1. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Hi folks,

      Your local helper fish here and I wanted to write a post on something that has been very helpful for me in my tinnitus journey and has actually guided me through some very rough patches in my life. It's all about our emotions and expectations.

      Let me explain, in life the two things that can either take us to greatness or make life harder. Our emotions and how we deal with things and expectations and what we expect of life and people.

      I used to be very outgoing and was always at some gathering and enjoying my life. After tinnitus hit, things changed and the old was out and the new was in. When I first got tinnitus my emotions were pretty high and my stress was high as well. Hearing a new noise coming out of my head was pretty odd and I was like "what is this?" "Is it the fridge?". It's natural for us to get emotional over something new that seems pretty odd.

      I have been working on getting less emotional to no emotions towards tinnitus for a long time. It was not an easy thing at all, it took time and lots of self love and patience to do this.

      In general, our emotions can do such wonderful things for us and they can also make our lives harder as well.

      As an example, in my early years if I had to sit through traffic, I'd get very emotional and would say "c'mon, why are we stopping, WHY?" It was that extra bit of emotion that really drained me so so much more. That extra emotion was taking me away from my focus and my daily activities. That raw emotion was creating a pattern that was just not helping me out at all.

      I would sit with my family and they would blast their radio, they knew that my ears were a mess and I was at the mercy of needing a peaceful/tranquil area to accommodate my madness that would ring out my head. They would never listen and I'd get so frustrated and my emotions would get the best of me.

      It is very natural to have our emotions get this way. Life can trigger it at times and it is in our human nature to express our emotions.

      Now let me get to the second part, expectations. You see I am a person that use to have tons of expectations of life, people and how our lives are lived. I always held the highest expectations and respect towards many people and many aspects of life and how it was supposed to be lived. I was like this for a long time, I always treated and respected people and did the thing that was right and EXPECTED to be treated the same way.

      As I got older and more experienced my views on expectations has changed a lot. As an example, I am always all about letting people know that my ears ring and that My ears are the way they are. If I do not let people know, then they may not be aware of my situation and they might do something that might annoy my ears.

      I always let people know and always educate them on what tinnitus is and just how hard we can have it in our lives. I do this to almost all the people I meet. You see, I have taken the first step and let people know. Now, it's up to them to either respect me and my situation or not care and still act the way they want to act.

      There been many times that I had educated people, let them know that these ears are damaged and they simply would not care and would still make loud noises and do stuff that would annoy the hell out of my ears. Then, i'd get angry and my emotions would run wild and it would just drain me so badly.

      I would tell that person, "Hey, didn't we just have a talk about my situation?, "did you listen to a word I just said?". Most of the time, I'd get no response from the other person. This individual would still scream, yell and just make noise that was painful and not necessary at all.

      I knew what to expect from such a person and just made a shift in how I dealt with that person.

      Folks, I was dealing with someone that WILL NEVER understand or care for my situation. My high expectations literally have disappeared. I do not expect anything anymore from a person like that.

      Also, my emotions are non existent as well. I normally do not over-protect my ears at all, but If i go to a gathering and know that the person is there, I will have both ears plugged up. I EXPECT this person to annoy my tinnitus and I EXPECT for them to not care at all.

      I don't get emotional anymore over it, some people will not care and I simply will not expect much from some people. The only EXPECTATION that I have is from MYSELF. That's it, and not from anyone else.

      I EXPECT myself to push forward daily. I EXPECT myself to try to make my life a little easier. I EXPECT myself to come and help those that suffer from tinnitus. I EXPECT myself to be good to those that need help.

      Learning about our emotions and expectations is all about learning from our LESSONS in life and just using them to make our lives better.

      Merry x-mas :)
       
      • Like Like x 9
    2. bobvann
      Vegged out

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud shit
      Great post on a crappy day. That's pretty well what I need to get to.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    3. marko1103
      No Mood

      marko1103 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Start
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Merry Christmas also to you @fishbone

      Your positive attitude and posts are priceless on this forum!
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Life is hard brother! It is, I know your pain, I do. You got tons of support from me and this wonderful forum. Keep pushing forward :)
       
      • Like Like x 1
    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Thank you! I make my threads and posts just to motivate people and help someone that needs a lending hand. Glad I can make a difference in people's lives.
       
    6. Angela Riffe
      Mellow

      Angela Riffe Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Thank you! It did for me in this moment! Happy Christmas!
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Happy Xmas to you as well.
       
    8. Donna61

      Donna61 Member

      Location:
      Minnesota
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown possibility TMJ
      Thank you calmed me right down....
       
Loading...

Share This Page