Feeling So Hypochondriac, Freaking Myself Out.

So, as many of us in here I've always been pretty highly strung so to speak, super attentive to my surroundings as well as my own body.

Developed generalised anxiety disorder many years ago, so getting T an H a year ago hit me really hard, but I've been coping somewhat and am pretty ok on a day to day basis.

This past year has been health wise in my family a devastating year. My mother received her second cancer diagnosis and my father found out he has incurable and progressive lung fibrosis, prognosis is lousy, 20% survive the five year mark. My husband has also been in the neurology ward twice this year for strange neurological problems and they have not found out what's wrong with him, at first they thought he had a tumor or a haemorrhage in his brain, then they looked for lyme disease etc. Nothing. Still he has symtoms that come and go.

With this background I'm getting pretty damn hypochondric, scaring myself shitless with worst case scenarios every time anyone sneezes, cant really take any more bad news now .

So today I got a referral myself to a neurological examination, ENMG test, to test my nerves in my legs and arms as I've been having tremors and twitching muscles. It might just be stress and anxiety from this stressful year, but as soon as you look up these symtoms (I know doctor google is not to be trusted) scary shit like MS and ALS show up immediately so now I'm practically freaking out. I know it's highly unlikely obviously, but it's like with the T, if you're having a bad patch, it gets stuck in your head and you just freak yourself out. Trying to keep busy, keep my mind on other things these weeks until the tests, but I am just so scared to get more bad news.

 

Hopefully there won't be any more bad news and you're just on extreme high alert as your bucket is full. Lots going on there - well done for living with anxiety, plus tinnitus, plus tinnitus related anxiety and the rest which has been unfolding. Sounds like you're a coper...keep on going, stay strong x

 

Vestiges of OCD which is almost a pre-requisite to T. Word is, if you traced the ancestry of everybody on this forum, we share the same blood line all hailing from the same remote village in Egypt 100,000 years ago.

 

Shrimp!
iam so sorry to hear that you are going through to a rough patch of anxiety!!!
i totally been there these past weeks after a few weird symptoms.

first of all i know its hard but we need to recognize that we dont have power over stuff.
but our thoughts and mood. life is uncertain and its kinda scary
but also you have the option of not thinking about "tomorrow" or the uncertain.
just focus on the day, try to focus on the now.

im sorry about your mom and dad.
i think the right thing to do is get tested and you are already doing the right stuff.
i think you and your hubby should get tested for lymes
its pretty weird how you both are going through some neurological stuff together.
test for lyme a few times, they say it gives false negative a few times.
you never now.

hoping the best for you and your family!

 

Hi shrimp,

Sorry to learn of all the troubles and stresses you are enduring.

You may want to consider speaking with a counselor or therapist about your situation as they are trained to listen and help you navigate these types of events.

 

Thanks all for your comments. I have already booked an appointment with my therapist back from when I first developed anxiety many years ago, I figure I need to go either to deal with any possible bad news (hopefully not) or to deal with this past years events and hopefully get rid of this horrid health-anxiety I've developed as of lately because of these events. I forgot to mention in my post, my mother in law also passed this year. So yeah, it's been a really rough year.

 

Hi Shrimp,
Had a tough year also and my dad died.
Let's hope 2017 will be better and happy memories of loved ones will stay in our hearts for ever...
Try grow strength from all the things we learnt from them and 're tell their story's to the new generation they live on through...lots of love glynis