For Those Contemplating Suicide

Here's a bit of trivia: did you know that there isn't a single study out there on the long term effects of SSRIs, especially on adolescent/child physical and emotional development, and yet instead of helping children deal with their problems objectively, it is medically accepted to subject them to untested medication for prolonged periods of time and leave their real problems to fester as a mental illness, instead of working on solving the problems? I definitely don't know what it's like to just be "in the moment" and happy anymore. It's been so long I've forgotten.

I get that some people have real chemical imbalances, medications like antipsychotics work wonders for shizophrenics and the numbing effects of SSRIs and benzodiazepines can calm some people down from suicidal depression and reduce severe anxiety. I've seen it firsthand. It just sucks that that doesn't work for me! Maybe I'd be able to focus on school and bettering myself if I wasn't subjected to a constant barrage of sensory information that is almost guaranteed to never stop and only get worse (speaking purely objectively of course, that's how I look at things.) It's insane how many times psychs have asked me if I "hallucinate."

It's almost like they have no idea someone can experience real problems with their senses, and not be making it up! I wish I could find a psych who has experience with physical problems and could help me cope.

 

For me there are some very deep convictions about the nature of reality and purpose in my life* that I would have alot of trouble psychologically, without. I would recommend going as deep as you can, in terms of that which is without(reality itself/proper grounds for joy in life), and within(motivations/expectations/actual intentions to find joy from sources).
The good news is that the brain has so much pasticity, especially with ages under 40. I recommend combinations of physical and mental innovation for your mind/brain. We have so much neural network that is not being used; memory/information/skills/changes in consciousness/awareness are in the conections which can be made in that network. Even serious brain damage can be circumnavigated, causing someone to be able to relearn how to swallow food, walk, and talk, as well as higher delicate functions.
Oh, yeah and having wise adults who have also suffered, in my life has been very important. I'm glad for those in my church that have been there for me.





*The Biblical Gospel/providence and peace with God/the promise of a beautiful life after the likeness of God in the person of Jesus