Frederick LeBoyer was a true genius. In his book “Birth Without Violence,” (1974) he wrote about how to make the highly traumatic experience of birth less terrifying and more humane for both the mother and the baby. Born in 1918, one hundred years ago, he studied medicine and became a house doctor in Paris in 1948. He studied gynaecology and obstetrics, and was promoted to Chef du Clinique in 1953. He started working on his ‘birthing ideas’ in 1966. “The doctors smile, the mothers smile, but almost all new born babies cry bitterly. Blinded by clinical lights, Assaulted by hospital noise, they frequently screw up their little faces and howl. The baby’s experience of its birth goes largely neglected.” There is so much more in this incredible book than I can possibly précis here, but these are just some of his suggestions. A darkened room, silence as far as that is possible. After the baby has emerged, leave the mother to continue breathing for the child, through the umbilical cord. After some time, only when the baby has established it’s own breathing pattern, may the cord be severed. Once the birth has been achieved, lay the baby face down on the mother’s tummy, and start very gently supporting and stroking the baby’s head. LeBoyer says “Touch is the first language.” That one sentence is a work of genius. Another piece of genius, later in the book: As soon as is practical, lay the baby down, and very gently support and stroke the head and temples. Taking plenty of time to feel the love you are giving. Make this a several times daily practice. “You may see a wide mouth lifted into a smile, with eyebrows relaxed, and eyes crinkled with happiness. The baby may well, not only laugh, but hoot with pleasure.” Babies do not generally smile before two months, but this one is less than twenty four hours old. Start the experience, the habit of ‘contentment and happiness’ at the very beginning. (Just as a footnote - I was a breach birth, born touching my toes. The very first view that the outside world ever had of ‘yours truly’ was my arse.... not actually my best aspect!)
This name is familiar to me and I have to say I don't agree with you! I remember hearing an interview with this doctor on BBC Woman's Hour some years ago. He told the presenter that childbirth was a progression towards an orgasm. When the presenter asked him if the medicalising of childbirth was right he said it was completely wrong. She then pointed out to him that: “Hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world, some in very poor countries, die in childbirth.” Leboyer said: “ No, that’s not true, that is a lie, that’s a lie. “ It was really pretty disgraceful for him to deny that. Countless women around the world have died in childbirth -it used to kill about 10% of all women. Today, around the world, over 200,000 women still die every year in childbirth. To say these deaths are a lie cos it fits with your world view is very bad indeed. Sorry to disagree with you Jazzer as I like what I've seen of your posts http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00h8q5w
@Agrajag364 I try to read on psychology as widely as possible. I read this one book by Leboyer in 1975 I believe. I totally agree that a gentle birth is best, and would you not agree that head and facial massaging of babies is a quite beautiful thing? With regard to what he had to say at the age of 92, well I simply have no knowledge of that at the moment, but I will try to look it up. Medical standby is obviously crucial. Was he going senile do you think.....down to his last marble perhaps...? I would still endorse the points he makes in this particular book. But by and large, I wouldn’t necessarily agree with everything that anybody said....would you?
The deaths of mothers aren't too good for babies either. He didn't sound senile. Doctors can be....extremely convinced of their own pet theories
@Agrajag364 - I nearly missed your reply again. It would be really good if you could alert me back to your post by using the @ - as in @Agrajag364 or I can miss your reply. Yes I totally agree with you that experts in most fields can not stop pushing their pet ‘hobby horse’ idea, for fear of becoming less relevant. Even though I agree that infant massage is a wonderful thing, which incidenrally he witnessed and learnt on his yearly two-month visits to India, to refute the real tragedy of death in childbirth was criminal. Thank you for your information - I was completely unaware of it.
I read Jazzer's information more as the importance of human touch right after birth and creating the sense of calmness and serenity for the child. A friend of mine is writing a book on incubator babies and following up later in their lives about their sense of life. I was an incubator baby as well as my friend and it sort of instills an afterborn sense of detachment. They lacked that immediate sense of human touch and spent the first months isolated. It is a rather interesting study and I think her book will be very interesting. I don't have children. But most of my friends have had normal births with immediate skin touching right after birth. I think it provides a sense of love and bonding that is so important.
@Starthrower - I very nearly missed your post as you didn’t alert me! Touch is so crucial, and I did not have it. I grew up isolated from my mentally sick mother. My ‘healing touch’ came so many years later. Would it be possible to tell you about it on conversations?
@Agrajag364 - further to our chat of the other day, bringing the knowledge of the benefits of facial and bodily massage to a Western audience was undoubtedly a good thing to do. If, as you say, he decried the importance of medical backup, then that is indefensible. In any event - the true geniuses of the piece are the native Indian mothers, who demonstrated wonderful instinctive love to their babies.
@Jazzer I don't know how to do the conversation thing. But of course I would welcome it. I had to keep my profile closed because of personal reasons not from anyone on TT, but from getting PMs from another source no longer allowed here. I had to stay distanced personally. Sorry for the delay a few personal issues to deal with here in CA. Ditto here. Being an incubator baby is something people don't understand. When my friend started her book the one aspect we all had in common was this sense of detachment. Another issue I have to deal with later in life is weird and I never connected the source. I have always had to stay in a hotel room where I could open a window. And today's newer hotels are all climate control with no window opening access. Same thing here. Always felt the outsider but with compassion. This aspect would grow after getting intrusive tinnitus very much like yours. Loud and non-stop. Hope you and the wife are doing well.... Many hugs, Jen
@Starthrower This was the item I wanted to mention to you in a personal conversation. It seems a bit tender to write it on here, but I thought you might find it relevant to your post, so here goes. “My feeling of rejection by my mother was total. I don’t blame her. She was so ill, so depressed every single day of her life. She was a daughter of the local prostitute, and brought up by her granny. She had no love or happiness to share with me. Well, that’s a bit of the pre-history. If I had to sum up my entire childhood in just one sentence, it would be, “There is no love.” Throughout my childhood it never came. Depression was all I knew - it was my life. At about age 28y I managed to find a good therapist. He had lost his voice box to throat cancer some years before, and could only whisper to me. He was a lovely man. I felt so low - unloved - repulsive. He treated me very kindly. There was just one thing that I thought might make me feel better, but I did not dare to ask for it, for a whole year. Every time I wanted to ask for it - I could not get the words out. Then one day I finally managed to spill the words out: “I suppose you wouldn’t be prepared to stroke my head for me....?” He did.....and I sobbed my heart out. For the first time I felt like a member of the human race. My healing finally got started”
@Jazzer...many hugs and head strokes for you...I understand completely. It is so wonderful how your life is now so full of love and compassion like taking the special items to the children in hospitals. Your childhood was so desolate of any human kindness. I am so sorry. Isn't it so strange when our eyes and hearts are suddenly opened to human kindness? It is like going to another planet or something. And now we have the ability to feel love and know we have self-worth. I saw how patient you were with threefirefour a while back. Some younger people don't understand life before technology. I was just thinking this morning that it seems so important to them to have "likes" or whatever it is on facebook.
This thing is pretty awful for us Jen, but to have it so young is just so horrible. I would never want to snap at these young guys. I can understand their anger. Anyway, the guy you mentioned - I’ve got him sussed out - you just have to show him a lovely pussycat - and Mr Hyde changes back into Dr Jeckle! I love talking to you Jen, Dave x
Aw @Jazzer this is so sad. I hope you found some love and happiness at some point. Do you have a partner or any family now?
@Ahrajag My wife of 40 odd years is the sweetest angel. The of loneliest starts - but I got truly lucky. I guess you can see why the methods in this book struck me so deeply.
