Getting Tinnitus at the Worst Time of My Life

Discussion in 'Support' started by Boxdra, Jan 10, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Boxdra

      Boxdra Member

      Men, why now? I have so many shit going on and this is not helpen. I went from college (social study) to factorywork (with I find depressing work, no human contact). Girlfriend and I broke up, we where planning to get married. Had to cut off 'best friend' because of toxic friendshi(t)p. So socially pretty isolated. This was already emotionally killing. I already didn't think I was going to get over this without anything else.

      And now I also have tinnitus what might be the biggest shit of all. I had to quit my job (factorywork is loud), and now I might also lose my appartement because I have no money and have to live with my parents again. Really, life? Really? Its crazy hoe fast your life can suddenly turn around.

      I'm so pissed off you have no idea. The only reason i'm not letting myself go is because I know it will make the tinnitus worse. Actually, I just want to cry. Tinnitus isnt making finding a new girl/friends easyer then it already is. Hope I don't sound like a wimp, but I really need some support and people around me just don't get tinnitus. Sigh... Any words of hope?
       
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    2. Jeff M.
      Cowabunga

      Jeff M. Member Benefactor

      Location:
      La Jolla, CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct. 2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic
      Dude, WOW! That is too much at once for sure!! I am so sorry!! Tinnitus alone can be a life wrecker. BUT... you need to battle thru it! Use this forum to find hope, support and information! I just joined yesterday and have already found all of that!! I can totally sympathize with your battle with T! I have had it for a year and it is GNARLY!! You are NOT a wimp!! And it's OK to cry man!! I sure did (and still do occasionally!). It's part of the process of dealing with it. Go find the thread from ShiningStar about their journey with T and some great coping tips! Hang in there man, you are not alone!:welcomesignanimation:
       
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    3. Jeff M.
      Cowabunga

      Jeff M. Member Benefactor

      Location:
      La Jolla, CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct. 2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic
    4. mick1987
      No Mood

      mick1987 Member

      Location:
      UK (England)
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Boxdra, I just wanted to say I am in the same position with the work issue, I used to work in factories before I got tinnitus, been unemployed for 2 years now because the only work I can get is working in loud environments. I'm 26 years old still living with parents, my dad retires next year then I'm screwed! I have to find work in a noisy factory because I have no other choice! I'm going to buy some custom made earplugs with a high rated decibel rating.

      Once you habituate to your tinnitus you will be OK, you will recover your life. I know at the minute it seems like life is turning into a joke but as time goes on you won't even care about tinnitus, you will get back to focusing on getting a new job, relationship, apartment etc, TIME will help us recover from this BS, stay positive.
       
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    5. Boxdra

      Boxdra Member

      Thank you so much for your responces! It really means a lot to me.. Just someone to acknowlege that this is really difficult helps me so much. Thank you!!

      So many life changing events at once, I just don't know how to handle this. Finding a job, dealing with tinnitus, getting over the hardest breakup in my life, really big social changes. Mick1987 i'm your age, I know what your saying. I don't want to rely on my parents, but now i don't have any other options. I don't know what to do either.

      I feel so alone in this battle. I have no idea how to get up. I could have done it myself if there was no tinnitus, but again tinnitus alone changes so many things in my life I just don't know how to handle them al at the same time. I can barely think normal during the day let alone get my life back together.
       
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    6. mick1987
      No Mood

      mick1987 Member

      Location:
      UK (England)
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      What you should do is prioritize your life, deal with the most pressing issue in your life right now, if that is tinnitus you should move back in with your parents, let time help you adjust to having tinnitus, learn coping strategies, habituate to tinnitus, then deal with the other stuff, one thing at a time, otherwise it will be to much to deal with, deal with tinnitus first, then the other issues will be easier to solve.
       
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    7. Denny

      Denny Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 2013
      With so many things happening at once it may not be so bad to stay with parents?
      I spoke with a friend who has t for over twenty years he said in the beginning he blamed
      T for all the things that were going wrong then he went for counseling and stopped planning
      His life around his tinnitus when that happened he felt habituated. You are going thru a
      Bad time but things don't always stay the same the sun will shine again. Just give yourself
      Time no one lives a perfect life.
       
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    8. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      I feel for your suffering and challenges. Most of us who have gone through the initial struggle with tinnitus know how you are feeling right now. This is the toughest phase when the body is not used to the ringing yet. The brain is overload sometimes with too much stress and worry so you are vulnerable to distorted thinking about your situation and the future. Don't buy into those thoughts. They can wreck havoc on your mental stamina. You need to give the body time to adjust to the tinnitus ringing. There are many members who have gotten better over time. Your tinnitus being so new may just fade or go away in time. So relax and don't panic too much. If you need, you should check out how you can get masking going to reduce your anxiety about the ringing. I just download some nature sounds from Amazon.com to my ipod using itune and I used to sleep with the sounds soothing out the harsh shrill of tinnitus. You can also download sound generator software, many of them are free. I like this one called 'aire freshener' and the rain/wave/water sounds are nice:
      http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html

      There should be many free Apps on mobile phones also. So try do something to help yourself to cope instead of worrying or getting upset about it. Be patient. It will get better.
       
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    9. Hendre Vlad
      Haunting

      Hendre Vlad Member

      Location:
      Romania
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2013
      I always say to myself .. No matter how hard it rains,withstand the pain...
       
    10. st0rch
      Creative

      st0rch Member

      Location:
      Taylorsville, Utah
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/18/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma

      Hey there, you are not alone.

      In the last 6 months, I developed panic & anxiety disorder overnight, and then developed derealization/depersonalization (look it up if you'd like). I've been to the ER multiple times because of this. I met my adopted brother, and then a month later he died. My girlfriend of 4 years & only real friend broke up with me. I moved back in with my parents, and then found out my mother is now a raging alchoholic, and father is extremely verbally abusive, and then moved out a month later. Started getting Artirial fibriliation (heart skipping). To top it all off, you guessed it, some lovely tinnitus. The group of friends I hang out with are spoiled brats who's biggest problem usually involves their parents paying their credit card bills for the month (meanwhile I'm working 50 hours a week at 22 years old). All of the above caused me severe depression, and I'm not ashamed to admit I've cried until I couldn't breath for the last 2 months. The thoughts of suicide came and with this much stress I feel were inevitable, though I could never do something so selfish, especially not to my family who also just lost my brother.

      Same thoughts ran through my head, but I PROMISE you the Tinnitus will not stop you from meeting women. Think about it, you would feel the same way without the tinnitus, "I'll never meet anyone again!". It's just easier to blame that feeling on the tinnitus :) Once you habituate, it's funny how the tinnitus feels more like something that you've had all your life. It will not be a disability unless you let it. Also, my tinnitus has not increased in volume since onset, and I've been in loud situations since then (Have not worn ear plugs). However, ear plugs are advisable for EVERYONE, not just you, so don't feel weird if you feel you need to wear them.

      Every day I seem to care less and less about the ringing. It is slowly becoming as inconvenient as a paper cut, and some times my brain can completely tune it out (though it's still there). For me it's been only 2 months. Previously, it made me even more suicidal, quite the difference if you ask me. I wish I could say the same about my panic disorder.

      Anyway, you will habituate, and after you habituate there might even be a cure. (and you might not even care at that point). Life does go on, and there are plenty of women & jobs that are worthy of your presence in the world. I know how hard it is for you right now, the other things in my life are still very hard for me. Just make it through day by day. You're strength is being tested, and only you can prove you are strong enought to make it out of your own personal Hell.

      Hopefully we both will.
       
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    11. Magpie
      Sporty

      Magpie Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/1999
      There are always others worse off than you, me and almost everybody else. Sometimes despite how miserable we feel that is always worth remembering. Also putting things into perspective. Everybody gets dumped sometime. Everybody works in some crappy dive at some point in their life. Almost everybody will be retrenched from their job at some point. The simple fact is shit happens but we always seem to get over it and move on.
       
    12. Boxdra

      Boxdra Member

      Thank you for the responces.

      @mick1987, yes I should priorize my life, but it order to do that you need to be thinking straight, and thats hard now. Getting a job is nr1. But wrighting letters for jobs takes mental energy and I have so little of that.

      @Danny I really don't want to live with my parents again, then I will lose all my social contacts at the place I live now. So thats really something I would like to avoid.

      @ Billie 48 thank you for your words. I will check out that site. My brain is indeed in overload, and thats not only because of the tinnitus.

      @st0rch men, you are also going through some shit man. I'm so sorry To hear that. Thank you for sharing that! You made me feel not alone, i'm not the only one whos world crashes now. Sometimes everything happens all at ones. We are in the same boat and need to hang in there. I know things will get better, right now we need to proces our loss. This experience really showed how fragile life is.

      @ Magpie your are right, some other people have it worse, but that doesnt mean that we are not experiencing loss. When the time is right I will continue with my life but right now I need to proces this.

      I am Lucky my tinnitus is pretty mild, and I would like to keep it that way! So I will explore the site for tips.
       
    13. Grace
      No Mood

      Grace Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/14/2013
      I thought i was the only one at first when i was experiencing derealization/depersonalization... I had it sooo bad that i had that with my panic attack everytime i walked into a public place... Way before i got T tho.. Really hated that.. Sorry you experienced it too.. Along with everything else you have been through :-( wish for only the best for you!!!!
       
    14. christine kauhane
      Sunshine

      christine kauhane Member

      Location:
      honolulu hawaii
      Tinnitus Since:
      june 9th 2013
      you will get through it my friend
       
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    15. Boxdra

      Boxdra Member

      I think it would be Nice to give an update.

      Actually, i'm doing better again :) the situation socially is getting better. I think I made the right desicions. I have a different job now wich I like more.

      And on top of all, I don't care about my tinnitus anymore. Ive seen life in such a frigile way the last months, that i'm not going to let myself get down because of this. There are a lot of worse things that can happend in life. For me, this is ok. I'm chosing to be happy, even though I have ringing ears :)
       
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    16. Jeff M.
      Cowabunga

      Jeff M. Member Benefactor

      Location:
      La Jolla, CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct. 2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic
      Right on Boxdra!!! (y) Great to hear you are dealing with your T better and have a positive attitude! That makes all the difference!! Keep it up!! :D
       
    17. michela
      Dramaqueen

      michela Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      storch, great to hear from you again,i was worried about you cause i had been reading your desparate messages!
      im happy you feel a bit better!
       
    18. Pipo
      Pooptoast

      Pipo Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Vancouver
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      wow i suffered from severe derealization three years ago and it took me one year to get rid of it.
      I have tinnitus since a month now. maybe there is some sort of connection.
      Unfortunately, since I cannot sleep for more than 4 hours a night, i decided to use trazodone, that was yesterday. about 15 mg only. i slept great for the first time since t and had a great day today, until I notice a bit of derealization creeping back. I hope it will vanish soon.

      I am, obviously, never gonna use trazodone again.
       

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