Girlfriend of 5 Years Broke Up with Me: Worst Tinnitus Ever

Hi,

I have kept visiting this forum from time to time. Today I made an account.

I've had tinnitus for nearly four to five years, that I got from going to metal concerts. I always used to think it was related to acoustic trauma. I have completely stopped going to concerts and nightclubs.

Because of the COVID-19 lockdown, I have had to use my headphones a lot and I think that has made my tinnitus much worse in the past few months. This week my girlfriend broke up with me, due to our mutual differences and maybe because of how passionate and arrogant I get about certain things.

The ringing went up so bad that I cannot sleep anymore. I feel completely unable to work because of the little sleep I get. I feel terrible and the ringing is driving me insane! Doctors are unavailable for the weekend. What do I do?

About me: I am a doctoral student studying and teaching mathematics. Living as a non-native in Switzerland.

 

Hello there. I'm sorry that your tinnitus worsened so much and you have difficulty tolerating it.

You say that your "ringing went up so bad". Are you referring to your usage of headphones or was that due to stress because of the break-up with your girlfriend? In the latter case, it should likely go down once you get over the break-up (easier said than done...). But of course, you're currently more interested in a short-term solution.

My thoughts:

1. Go to the drugstore and get Redormin (contains valerian root, in German Baldrian). This is a mild sleep medication that might help you and you don't need a recipe from the doctor for that. For me it worked during the times were I was really stressed. Valerian root is not homeopathy, it does actually contain active substances and has been described as "mini-benzo" in effect.

2. Meditation, yoga and/or exercise. Tiring your body out reduces stress. Meditation and yoga will also help and there's many people with loud tinnitus or other illnesses that are relying on meditation to get through the day. It can make a big difference if it works well for you. It does take discipline, learning and time though.

3. I assume you used the headphones because of "tele-university", accessing the lessons of the University online. I'd advise to use computer speakers as there is a lower risk of getting exposed to overly loud noise. Get those that have a volume control you can easily turn down if necessary. Stop using headphones if they already worsened your situation so much!

4. If you want to get medication later on, do your research first on side-effects as not to get another spike.

5. I can offer a bit of hope for the future: if you stop using your headphones and your stress goes down, there's a good chance your tinnitus goes down; at the least you will be able to handle your tinnitus easier again. You also might want to check out the Research News tab in this forum. There's a lot of exciting stuff in the making that might arrive in the next few years.

Where do you study in Switzerland if I may ask? Zurich? Geneva?

 

Benzos are often a short term solution.

 

Thank you for the support, @Sevv.

I don't really know what caused the sudden increase. I thought it was mostly the headphones but now I feel more that I am stressed as well. I live in Lausanne.

I did take a benzo yesterday, but it did not help me sleep. I'll try again tonight, soon.

 

Correction:

The sleep pills that I had are called Dormyl. The chemical name is
Diphenhydramine hydrochloride.

Does anyone know how bad/good this can be?

 

I had a spike last 4 months before going down so try not to worry. Give your ears as much of a break from loud sound as possible and cut out headphone use. Also try taking Magnesium L-Threonate and NAC to help. And do whatever you can to help you relax and get your mind off of it. Even if it’s masking it for a while.

 

There is no cure for tinnitus. The only thing you can do is avoid the things that in the past have caused problems for you (so no headphones). Hopefully within the next month or two you will notice fading, and if that happens it ought to continue to fade (assuming you don't harm your ears again), and after 3 months (but this can take years), you will be back to your baseline.

As for your girlfriend - embrace a life without compromises.

 

Diphenhydramine is an antihistamine. It is used as the active ingredient in many sleep aids. It can be found on the list of ototoxic drugs:

https://www.ata.org/sites/default/files/Drugs Associated with Tinnitus 2013_Updated2017.pdf

 

Oh no! Should I stop using this medicine? I have used it only twice so far.

It feels really bad. I'm avoiding alcohol in this phase, because I have read that excessive alcohol can be bad for my tinnitus. I hope to get over this without alcohol.

 

If you just need urgent sleep, use Diazepam. If you have never tried it, this will put you to sleep like a baby.

 

Hi @Breakfastisready,

I'm so sorry to hear about your break-up. I can relate; my Tinnitus also got a lot worse after my long term relationship ended. I think it's pretty natural after the serious stress of such a big life change. The Tinnitus went back down again once I started to feel better, as I'm sure it will for you too.

Please be kind to yourself, and do whatever you need to do to get through this difficult period. Sleep is the most important thing to get under control as being unable to sleep makes everything feel a lot worse.

Every medication has potential side effects, and there will always be someone who had a terrible experience taking them. When I'm about to take a drug, I try to look at how many instances of Tinnitus is reported to have been caused/worsened by the drug, and make a judgement that way.

You know your own body better than anyone. People here have their own opinions, particularly when it comes to drugs, so take everything you read with a pinch of salt - including this comment! - and do your own research. I'm sure you will find what is right for you.

 

Thanks a lot @Tanni. Your posts gives me a lot of courage and hope. I have started to feel nicer about myself in the past few days and it looks like I am ready for whatever the future has for me.

 

Last week, my girlfriend of five years broke up. The ringing sound doesn't stop and seems to be getting louder everyday.

I am shattered! My life is shit. No one will love me. I will die lonely, unloved but at least the ringing will stop then.

Edit: I live in Switzerland. I am Indian. I feel like a second class citizen here who doesn't speak their language. I am a PhD student and don't earn much. She used to visit me from Vienna and is also Indian. It really kept my life together. I really wish she comes back to me!

Help me.

 

Hey. How are you doing now?