Hello, Newbie Here but Not to Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Fally, Sep 1, 2018.

    1. Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      Hi,

      Didnt think I would ever post here. As a matter of a fact i was told by my therapists not to. I am however having a very low day today.

      I dont really know how I got tinnitus, i just woke up one day and it was there and never really went away. I am assuming clubbing and concerts even though i wore ear plugs most of the time.

      Anyway about 6 months ago while at work it got worse due to the loudness which was my own stupid fault but not really. 2 years prior had a hearing test, no hearing loss at all. Hearing person told me i was find and that loud sounds are ok and my ears would turn off the sound because they are designed to do that. So i went two years living my life being cautious like in cinemas to where ear plugs. This time i didnt at a charity event where i was expose to noise for about 20 minutes and it got higher.

      Anyway as you can imagine anxiety kicked in and going to work was even hard (I work in a library) Which is quiet most of the time but i was still dealing with normal noise.

      Finally got in to an ENT about two weeks ago, said it was damage in inner ear however hearing is perfect which is good. Told me need to stop wearing ear plugs when i go outside (because i got scared and ware them everywhere except work not wanting to make it worse) only use them when in shopping centers (said i need to invest in the music ones?) He understood because he as an ENT also deals with Tinnitus. He sent me to a specialist therapist that deals with it, saw her few days ago again said no ear plugs need to hear sound. So yesterday decided im going to head to work without them in. Walking along the street, got the train (quiet carriage) went to work. I never ever wear ear plugs at work never have dealing with the public

      Anyway got home and boy were they irritated. I woke up this morning and they feel much calmer but the feeling of fullness has taken over (no pain) Im feeling really depressed right now because I feel like i have just made it all worse -sigh- Not that I am sure how due to it being normal noise.

      Anyway hope everyone else is having a good day.
       
    2. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You might want to take everything he tells you with a grain of salt.
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...orum-more-useful-than-your-ents-advice.28006/

      Listen to your body - if the noises on a busy street sound too loud to you, you might consider protecting your ears there.
      It sounds like you might want to find a new ENT.
      Your experience demonstrates how T is a sign that one's ears might have been compromised. The sounds that normal people won't notice can really hurt us. Since there had not been any studies into this, your doctors are just giving you advice about dangerous sounds, based on what sounds are dangerous for the healthy people.

      For the next year or two, try to protect your ears from moderate noises like that of a vacuum cleaner or a blender. Many of us found this to be helpful in promoting recovery (and it helps to not get any new traumas).

      Check out
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822
       
    3. Bobby B
      Fine

      Bobby B Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Large caliber rifles/machine guns and loud Music/clubs
      If your hearing is perfect and you work in a library I would not be worried at all
      Anxiety and stress can trigger loud tinnitus even with perfect ears
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    4. John CC
      Balanced

      John CC Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto, Ontario
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Phone ring tone directly in my ear/hearing loss 15% l, 25% r
      Hello Fally I am relatively new to this world of tinnitus, and I am on the steep learning curve of how to deal with it. One thing that I have been wrestling with is the 'I should have known better' re. ear plugs, going past noise and wondering is this going to spike my t.? I was walking in a mall, no protection as I was trying to acclimitaize my ears (I have been reading and realizing that you can overprotect your ears, and that that can cause other problems). I go past one store and BAM the merchandize alarm goes off directly into my ear. Guess what, my right ear goes up, (fourntnately only for less than a day) I felt like you, but then I realized you can not beat yourself up for trying to figure out how to live with this condition that really no one should have to endure. But here we find ourselves. Trying to find the balance means one thing, we will have to learn from our mistakes. And making mistakes also makes us human. You can not blame yourself for being human, for trying to the best of your abilities to learn by 'feeling in the dark' at times.
      This is not fun at times, eneryone on this forum knows that because they to have had to life through what you and I are living through. If you start reading the Introduce Yourself and Support sections you will find out that a lot of people developed t. arbitrarily, or it just happened, no real sense to it, the t. just happened. So don't blame yourself, you have done nothing wrong, it just happened.
      Once you start to get past the blame, it may becomes easier to see with eyes tainted with hope, not despair, Then one day, those tainted hope filled eyes just learn to see hope, and a better life as you have learned how to live without blame. You learned to control it, to see your t. not as a problem, but as an opportunity to grow, and still have a full life. That is what I am striving for, and I know, trust me I know it is easier to say then to achieve, for I too have had those down days. But without blaming yourself for trying to balance protecting while not over-protecting, this is how you can start to build hope. As a librarian, you are the essence of resourceful, so go find a book with that happy ending, a book that made you laugh, and realize that can be you next year.
      With all my support, keep looking for the essence of hope, and the down days, while still there, may become less and less, as you mind sees more.
      JohnCC
       
    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      Hi John I felt like i was overprotecting my ears and decided to take a risk just walking by a normal street. -sigh- The only reason i feel like its gone down is because i had a b12 injection yesterday. But as you said its like trail and error really when coming to do things and the doubt and blame really sets in. Ive been blaming myself for months since i got the acoustic trauma all those months ago and then it all just got two much a few days ago when it escalated. Before the Trauma back in november i had habitated to it and was living a normal life which is why i was beating myself up about it. Im currently in therapy over the entire thing so i know it will get easier its just one of those moments where its a bump in the road trying to get to the other side.
      Honestly reading is the only thing these last 8 months hat have kept me sane. Ive read like 50 books which has cone in handy for my job.
      I am honestly even to scared to go to work tomorrow because my ears still feel a little off. How do people just go to work and not have panic attacks?
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    6. Twinkle18

      Twinkle18 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Lexapro
      Hey @Fally

      I know going to work with tinnitus is quite hard. But I forced myself to work everyday since onset. I work in a very quite office and it was very hard at work but it has certainly gotten easier as time goes on. You may feel like this now but I promise you won’t feel like this forever! *hugs*
       
      • Like Like x 2
    7. John CC
      Balanced

      John CC Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto, Ontario
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Phone ring tone directly in my ear/hearing loss 15% l, 25% r
      Hi Fally I know exactly what you mean. I am a teacher in an inner city school in Toronto, Canada. Quiet as a mouse is a phrase rarely ever heard in this place. The students are loud and aggresive. That is one of the reasons why I have taken time off to get used to noise, and not, for lack of any other phrase, 'freaking out' when a noise happens (which I have already done by-the-way). So what I am trying to do now is to go outside and learn to live not in fear of noise, but to learn how to live with it. I have gone outside, and sometimes I get home and my right ear, which seems to be the more sensitive of the two, gets loud and stays that way. So rather than beat myself up, I am learning to ask why, was I out to long, was there a loud noise, or was it something else? Take today for example, before I went out my ears were behaving, with some quiet moments even. Came back and my right ear was loud. This time I am thinking it was not because it was loud (I just put a db meter on my phone to help me learn), but perhaps it is the half cup of a small black coffee that I had. So what I intend to do is let my ears settle down again, and no more coffee for a week. I am looking back and for the past week I have gone out for the most part and had a small cup of coffee (it tasted great and my audiologist thougth 1 small would not matter, but then again maybe for my body it does), and that week was up and down with the T. Could it be the coffee, or maybe my ears are not that ready to acclimatize? This is why I am experimenting.

      However, I am trying not to live in fear of noise, I am trying to learn how to live with noise. So this means that I will learn how to gage noise in my head better, to recognize and see possible trouble spots before I get to them. When I do I will put in my ear plugs for protection. I figure living in fear will only heighten my anxiety, which will make me paranoid, and Murphy's Law will kick in and I am sure to get a bang, an alarm, or a screaming child right beside me. At the start I will make mistakes, hopefully without any significant repercussions.
      This balancing act is definitely not a lot of fun, but if you approach things with fear and see them as a problems, then that is what they will be. Anyway, that is how I am trying to handle this getting used to going outside and living in the real world stuff. I have made mistakes, and I was genuinely upset, and worried that I had caused a lot of damage. I was fortunate in that I hadn't, but I don't desire to push my luck. All I can do, like you, is to try to learn, be aware, but not be afraid.

      The best of luck and let me know how it goes in the library.
      Best wishes
      John CC
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      Aw thank you -hugs back- I am trying really hard I avoided going into work today seeing the doctor tomorrow to have a long discussion about it. I work in a library so its not that loud depending.
       
    9. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      Hi John,

      That is what my ENT and Therapists want me to do. I am trying not to kick myself over it all and go over it. I just got out of the shower and my T is raging but i had earplugs when i went in so I know its not always damage or sound. My ears just seem to still be sensitive. I didnt go to work, again too scared, booked in to see my doctor tomorrow to have a long chat with her. Also booked in to get custom musician ear plugs which i was told to get by my ENT. Approaching things with fear is not good, which is what I am trying to work on (I have 2 therapists right now, one for my generalized anxiety and one for my tinnitus who specialists in it) I am trying really hard to deal with this is just very hard to do currently. The worst is i only just started this job so taking massive time off right now while on probation is not good.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    10. John CC
      Balanced

      John CC Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto, Ontario
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Phone ring tone directly in my ear/hearing loss 15% l, 25% r
      Hi Fally One of the hardest things I am dealing with right now, is the fluctuating for no particular reason. I have been chatting with Bill B. and others and apparently fluctuating t. can be normal, especially at the start. What fluctuating t. means after 6 years is a good questions to ask your ENT and therapist. I am just sitting there and bam it goes up or down, go figure. The words hope and balance are so easy to say, why is it that they are not so easy to achieve.
      You too??? I got the moulded with filters. As I am going back into school so I thought having 3 different db. filters (25,15,9) would give me some versatility to deal with different situations. From what I have been told, and you should ask, not to wear them all the time as you can make your ears too sensitive to every day sounds that otherwise should not bother your t.
      I have been meditating for years, and wow has it ever helped me deal with this. It has given me a calm centre that even when shaken, I was eventually able to go back to (when my doctor asked me how was I doing, well that was pretty much all I needed and I lost it, but when I left I went back to a calmer place and the residual upset didn't affect me as much as it could have). Have you tried meditation, been doing it, or not? If no, or not really, and you would like to explore it, may I suggest that you start with a meditation class. Let the organizer know that you are new, and go from there. If you do not desire to join a group, you can find a number of guided meditation websites that can help you get started. If you still have any questions re. meditating, feel free to ask.
      I love my job, and I will miss the start of the year, but hey, HEALTH comes first. Being healthy is a great feeling, and you can get there.
      Best wishes,
      JohnCC
       
      • Like Like x 1
    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      I think I may have overplugged my ears and when i decided to unplug and listen to the normal sounds on friday it was like BAM and my ears couldnt take it and here we are now with worse tinnitus then before. Mind you I never wore them at work in a normal environment so not sure. I have noticed however my ears are now very sensitive last few days so going back to work is going to be uber fun.

      I cant meditate i just end up focusing on the sound and panicking. I tried it once and it didnt work same with yoga i found it to quiet for me to handle. I did like Pilates but gave that up because i got vertigo, so might end up doing pilates again at some point but we will see.

      I know I will get there just takes time. I read before you used an app to check the DB what app are you using?
       
    12. John CC
      Balanced

      John CC Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto, Ontario
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Phone ring tone directly in my ear/hearing loss 15% l, 25% r
      Hi Fally I wish I could say with great confidence that I researched this and that on this and that site, but I didn't. I went onto Google and typed in sound meter app., and a selection appeared. I used the one that was rated higher than others. However, I think I did that just to make myself feel better. The one I used simply says dB Sound Meter. I looked up and copied from the internet the charts of dB scoring for different situations for ex. 60db. is about the sound of a conversation (moderate on the scale), 70 db. is a car, traffic (loud on the scale). I then compared the reading on my phone db. meter with their scoring in similiar situations. From what I understand, phone based sound meters are not the most accurate, but it is a harbour in the storm of life, so I am using it for now as it is convenient to use. I am also using it as a suggestive guide to infor. but not dictate my actions.

      As for meditating, actually a lot of people, with or without t. find it difficult to start, so don 't be so hard on yourself. Meditating in groups is actually easier than by yourself as someone is talking you through it. An FYI in case you ever want to try it again, down the road.

      I remember one person devulged that she watched 'Star Trek' for a month, as it gave her hope. Movies with good endings, shows or I have even watched Pharrel's Happy music video, because it does change your focus. Remember hope is a good thing, and when it is present there are possibilities. Finding it is not always easy, but I feel you can.
      All the best, and all my support,
      JohnCC
       
    13. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      I tried sound meter and it was telling me it was 70db and i was sitting in complete silence lol. I think i want to look at getting a proper one but we will see.

      I normally read or watch you tube videos but right now I cant even do that im just sitting in silence hoping this spike will go down even though its been a few days.
       
    14. John CC
      Balanced

      John CC Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto, Ontario
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Phone ring tone directly in my ear/hearing loss 15% l, 25% r
      Hi Fally Just one suggestion, but please do not sit in silence. Silence only makes it sound louder and also makes your brain focus on it more, and makes the world close in all that much more. I live alone and lets face it the walls can close in pretty fast. I am very grateful in that I found on the web various tinnitus sound therapy websites. I listened to them and some spoke to me and some didn't. I listen to different one's at different times, especially when I go to bed. There are some that play for 8 to 10 hours, I don't know how I would have survived without them. Having this playing in the background has helped me tremendously.
      I have also found that going out to a quiet coffee shop with a book was a great way to just get out. I have found a quiet place without loud noises. It gets me out, as well as helps my ears to stay accustomed to noise without being harmed. I also go out for walks at night (I am a night hawk by nature) just to keep myself moving, the oxygen flowing, and to help keep my sanity. By distracting the mind, I don't focus on my t. so much.
      So please do not sit in silence. Turn on the tv and find a movie, a comedy show or Star Trek.
      As always, you have my best wishes, and my support.
      JohnCC
       
    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Fally
      Bookworm

      Fally Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6 years
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      no sure
      Sometimes im not to bad with silence i can tune the T if im reading a book or focusing on something with im surving the web. I think its the current fullness in my ear and the fact everything sounds staticy all of a sudden thats driving me crazy.

      Is there such thing as a quiet coffee place? I live in Sydney and I can tell you right now most coffee places love to blast the music loud, actually almost all stores do as well, Sephora being one of the worst along.

      I normally talk to my friends on skype that helps most of the time to just not focus on it. I wish i could focus on reading right now but I cant -sigh-

      Thank you so much for your support though I appreciate it.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    16. John CC
      Balanced

      John CC Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto, Ontario
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Phone ring tone directly in my ear/hearing loss 15% l, 25% r
      Hi Fally Well guess what? I now have another reason to be happy, in sort of a sad way, to share that I live in Toronto, Canada, and yes, the coffee shops do not really play loud music, though sometimes the conversations get loud (remember Canadians drink the highest amount of coffee per capita than anywhere else in the world), also remember we have winters of -25 C not including the wind chill.
      I too have sometimes found it hard to read, so I switch to something that keeps me moving, walking, tv, etc.
      I also know that there are long days in this world of t., but with hope, there will be a day with the help of those around you, where you can read. Just hold on to those thoughts, that is what I do to help get me through the long days and nights of T.
      Well, it is almost 4 in the morning, so speaking of sleep.
      Take care, good luck, and remember, you always have my support.
      JohnCC
       

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