How Do You Ask Someone to Lower Their Voice?

Okay, I been recently fidgeting about my neck. The smell of blood was not good so I had to go to the ENT clinic. I was told fine but I was really too curious know what the problem was so I choose the other doctor(he was children's doctor and there are about 3~4 doctors working since it is a big place.). How stupid I was.... It was nothing after all and I dont know why I couldnt do anything about it.

The doctor's voice was unbelievably loud. I mean, there are so many patients there so he must have known to be moderate when speaking but he wasn't! I didnt wear my earplug because I'll have to make sound when looking into my vocal cords. Ugh....

He's voice was really to loud that my ears rang horribly. I thought he would soon lower it but we wasn't. Worst thing was when he was examining my neck. Loud sound just in front of my face(this was quite traumatic) and I literally quite jerked with a ring and pain. I fidgeted and tried to get out of there as fast as I can.

Then I had a tinnitus grown louder(I now fully understand you people) and a pain in my ear. Slight as usual but with very sinister sensations. Maybe it was heavier. Some sounds that hurt me in my home doesn't quite hurt me anymore. Maybe my ears were numbed. I was vaguely thinking of asking him to lower his voice but I couldn't. I have never done that to other people outside. It was mortally frightening. Hell... I was just about to me happy with all those plans... Asking people to lower their voice... Is it quite easy doing so?

 

I've had the same experience and I'm afraid of being rude by asking people to lower their voices or turn down the music. It makes being in social situations and family gatherings difficult because people can be loud since they're not aware, and I don't have the courage to ask them if they can quiet down.

 

My ear specialist always seem to speak very loudly, to the point where my husband even commented on it to me. I wonder if it's because he sees so many patients with hearing loss and he's used to talking loud.

Maybe just ask him to speak softly. He should understand and accommodate you.

 

If only I could with enough money to provide me, I would never go out. Haha..

 

You're right. That's what my sister told me too and it is only reasonable. 'Then why didn't you tell the doctor you lower it? Since he is a doctor he knows your condition?' Foolish me and what surprise. I hope I never encounter that situation again!

 

I can relate! I do not always speak up for myself when I should. It's odd, but that improved a bit after having kids. It's like I realized that I needed to be an advocate for them, and likewise for myself.

 

Most people really don't think (or know) they are loud. To them its just their speaking voice. We all took sound for granted once, until we learned otherwise. I've asked some shouty patients to quiet down a bit, and told them why and they are all agreeable, then continue to speak as before like I've asked nothing. They really don't understand and its nearly impossible to convey it (nicely) to them in a way that they will. These days I try to keep it as my problem alone and not dump it on them. They have their own problems.

 

Be glad you don't live in the US where almost everyone seems to talk loudly!

 

I think there is nothing wrong with politely requesting people to speak more softly and I trust a quick explanation of tinnitus will suffice. If those with whom you are speaking are considerate, they will listen and do that.

 

I can not speak for almost everyone who lives in my country but all the people I know speak very softly and are courteous.

 

HI @victoria9273

The advice that @Bobbie7 has given you is very good and I think that you should follow it. You may already know I once had very severe hyperacusis as bad as yours or worse. It has been completely cured for 18 years with TRT. If you are able to get your hyperacusis treated then I believe this is the best treatment for you. However it is an expensive treatment but one of the most effective against hyperacusis as it will desensitise the auditory system by wearing white noise generators. You will also need regular counselling.

Please do not listen to people on this forum that say TRT doesn't work. Everyone is different and the majority of them have never tried the treatment. Because your hypercusis is quite severe as mine was is the reason I'm recommending TRT. However, you could try helping yourself by following my advice in my article: Hyperacusis As I see it. I know that you use "noise reducing" earplugs and if you find relief using them then continue with them. There is much discussion in the medical field from experts saying that the overuse of hearing protection isn’t good and therefore discouraged as it will lower loudness threshold and make hyperacusis worse.

The only way to treat and cure hyperacusis is by sound therapy in which the auditory system is desensitised over time. This is best done with using white noise generators. I was completely cured in 2 years.

I wish you well.
Michael

 

One clean left hook to the chin should do it

 

If you start to whisper, the person will wonder what is happening.

The doctor : Everything's ok ?
You, whispering : Yes, but could you lower your voice like I do. It's not you, it's me, I suffer from hyperacusis.
The doctor, with a lower voice : Oh sorry, is it ok like that ?
You : yes, thank you.

I do that sometimes. If you continue to talk very softly, the person will do too.

 

This is really brilliant! You definitely are more wiser than me and have some wits.

 

No, it took me some time to find strategies that work.

At one point, you have to tell people, you don't want to suffer for days because of a 5 minutes conversation anymore. So asking is still awkward but suffering in silence can make you look weird (and even rude if you make faces for reasons no one knows) too.

Well, anyway, my best strategy in environments I don't know is still earplugs + lip-reading...

Just never be angry with people. They don't realize, they can't. H is so rare. If they forget, the same : they have to get used to you and it takes time. You'll have to ask several times.

If they don't want to be quiet for you, ditch them where they are and find people who care.

 

I'm from the US and have traveled abroad a lot, and one thing that stood out to me is how loud some Americans are. This was before I had T and H. It's also kind of a stereotype for Americans that travel abroad.

 

That Americans are deemed stereotypical is unfortunate but as you pointed out, the operative word is "some" so I would hesitate before making wide-sweeping generalizations about anything, especially people. During your travels you must surely have encountered those you consider loud. It is my feeling that when we continue to stereotype others/groups, it is a means by which we separate and disparage people. We are all individual.

As I have said, all the people whom I know and others with whom I may casually meet in stores and converse, speak softly and do not in any way call attention to themselves.

 

There is no way to ask people to be quieter without them feeling offended and massively inconvenienced. The only way around this issue is to avoid social contact and to be alone as much as possible.