How Do You Manage the Thought of Tinnitus Being a Lifetime Condition?

Actually Tinnitus made me a lot better person, more focused, more determined, yes I wish it ends but I know it never will and I am fine with it .. always a challenge .. 95% it gives me strength ..5% it pisses me off ... good trade off ...

 

I try not to think about the daunting forever at all. Instead I concentrate on thinking 'can I survive this moment just now with my T? Yes? how about an hour? fine.' So I do that hour, moment, day, week. And I figure the rest of my life is just gonna be moments like that stacked on each other. Luckily I never have to deal with 'forever tinnitus' all at once, it's too daunting for anyone, I just have to deal with here and now and this moment. One moment at a time.

 

My T and H are very loud and increase every week so I don't know how to manage with it: it's a nightmare. I red many books about living the present moment but it doesn't help anymore. I used to practice yoga and mindfulness last year but now it's impossible with this so noisy head full of a metallic noise. Even typing on the Mac is noisy.

 

My high pitched ringing is driving me nuts. I do have a sound machine I use to try to sleep at night, that helps some. Dr told me that I will have it forever most likely and I have to learn how to deal with it. Meditation helps some but only when I have background noise playing as well.

 

Don't know. I might go insane.

 

I don't manage. Frankly it makes me think life isn't worth living anymore, because I am no longer living, I am only existing. Every day sucks. My wife keeps me going. And if I habituate to this god awful racket, I'll go back to smoking marijuana and drinking copious amounts of alcohol to alter my now consistently crappy reality. What else can I do at this point.