How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Christophe_85, Sep 2, 2017.

    1. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      I didn't mention anything about women and money... ;)

      I had 2 small relationships with women since getting T and H, and no need to be in loud places, simply when they wanted to turn the radio on or watch TV, in the beginning they were ok but after they got fed up with the sound being too low...

      It is really impossible to understand our trouble if they don't know how little things in everyday's life can affect us !
       
    2. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      @Christophe_85 I am a hopeless married romantic at heart.

      I believe in finding soul mates or even good relationships with people girls/guys- even with tinnitus.
       
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      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    3. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      I cant be in a relationship. Tinnitus is a torture.
       
    4. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      I understand @dpdx.
       
    5. John_415

      John_415 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      20-12-2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Hey Christophe,

      Sure man, il send you the info I have about them in a PM

      Best,
      John
       
      • Like Like x 1
    6. John_415

      John_415 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      20-12-2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Hey, I see you mentioning elektronic earplugs like I did. Do you have elektronic earplugs yourself, if yes what brand do you use?
       
    7. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      @John_415 no I did not purchase the elektronic earplugs but found interest when someone posted about them.
      I have a phobia about any in the ear devices. :( For me the issue is nerve damage in the inner ear and jaw so I really have to be careful and find the best solution for myself. Over the ear Bose noise canceling headset is my life saver.

      But after many years now I only use them when really needed. But do use them for my daily music therapy.
       
    8. John_415

      John_415 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      20-12-2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Aah ok that makes sense then, I see few people with elektronic earplugs on this forum.
       
    9. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      I decided that I am going to be single forever.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    10. MBH

      MBH Member

      Location:
      Upstate NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Overloaded stress
      Actually when you least expect it, you will meet someone.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      Because of Tinnitus ???
       
    12. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      No......sigh

      No.....don't let tinnitus be a reason to be alone.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    13. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      No.....don't let tinnitus be a reason to be alone.[/QUOTE]

      Very complicated especially when you are young and people with the same age want to do so many loud hobbies !
       
    14. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      Yeah I can understand that @Christophe_85. I do not miss movie theaters or loud indoor concerts anymore. At least I did all that before tinnitus. Life is just more..different for my by choice.

      I so want you to meet that girl who understands. Just do not give up hope. And if you find that person fight to keep her and don't let her go.

      Signed,

      The hopeless romantic
      :rolleyes:
       
      • Like Like x 1
    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      Actually, I do not miss movie theaters so much as well... And I never was a big fan of big events with lots of people like concerts or music festivals... But I know and see that a lot of people love that ! And I totally can understand !

      And indeed life is different now, I try to see the good things still possible for me !

      Thanks for your kind message ! :)
      I also know that I have my life to live and to manage by myself... Because from now on I am really not satisfied with my life ! ;)

      You don't seem to have lost hope and I am happy for you, what's your secret ??? :D

      Peace !

      Christophe
       
    16. John_415

      John_415 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      20-12-2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Well, I was at a Comic convention a couple months ago where they had speed dating sessions... The woman at the counter asked: which session do you want to join in today? I was like: all of them, il subscribe to all 5 out of 6 speed dating sessions skipping the gay one. The woman was like: Ok! Thats fine il subscribe you to all of them, and then I did all sessions. .... I really expected something to come out of that:rolleyes:. Anyways perhaps some other time:p
       
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    17. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Not every bear will attack you if you bump into it in the woods. Not every chimp will bite your face off.
       
      • Funny Funny x 2
      • Agree Agree x 1
    18. MBH

      MBH Member

      Location:
      Upstate NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Overloaded stress
      I went to Ami convention with my sons it was 4 stories high and mostly everyone was in costume. It is a nice place to go. My boys didn't say they had a dating service. @Bill Bauer what bear in the woods I almost ran into a big bear when it skip in front of my car. It would have totaled my car had I hit it. Im glad no spike from it. But these fireworks I had to sit far from them but I could see them which was nice.
       
    19. Dianne burgess

      Dianne burgess Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      July 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I feel your pain have had it for just over a year now . I am now finding that simple things like going shopping are hard with the noise being too much also I find just being out side in general is hard can't even so out for meals anymore I find all environments to be loud and they make my migraines worse or cause one . It would not be so bad but I am only 34 so no more outing for me I am going to America in a few months and now am dreading the flight over an back not sure how I am going to handle it any tips
       
    20. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      Hi@Christophe_85! Cool part is you never really were into the "loud" stuff with crowds of people. Like you I don't miss movie theaters either.

      You are still a young guy with so much potential even with tinnitus. This is where you see - like you wrote - "the good things still possible for me !"

      You know that feeling when you just met someone and there is a spark - something special - that is not found everyday? Trust that gut feeling. I think we tend to let our self esteem get to low and believe that we are not worthy or attractive or that the person will reject you because of tinnitus.

      So you start out just going for coffee somewhere which is still trendy. Meet there so she feels safe. Talk and see if that "feeling" is there in you and don't worry about what she is thinking.

      The girl tribe is very hard to figure out sometimes!:dunno:


      Hum...well I am married and don't have to date....but I always try to keep it as if we are dating. Oh but when this first hit me things went not so well but he actually carried me from doctor to doctor. My secret perhaps is finally seeing that I needed to live and appreciate life and what I could do and not be miserable all the time even if I had to fake it just to see him smile and feel good also.
       
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    21. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery

      Umm...will you go out and test this theory several times @Bill Bauer? Then report back here?:cool:

      Just kidding with you. I think you mean this is a good way?
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    22. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I Had encountered bears in the woods (on two different occasions), and I was fine. As for the chimps, I had the following story in mind
      {My suggestion is to not click the link below. It is a disturbing story.}
      https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/charla-nash-chimp-attack-victim-3091674
      "Woman whose face and hands were ripped off by chimpanzee reveals 'It's very hard to live'"

      But of course, many people interact with chimps and are ok.

      I used to want to have a chance to play with a chimp. However, after reading the story above, I know that I would no longer enjoy being around a chimp. Likewise, it is very cool to see a bear (one of the bears I saw was about 3 meters [10 feet] away), but the knowledge that if the bear feels like it, it could harm you (this is true for bears And for people of the opposite sex), makes the encounter highly unpleasant.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    23. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      You can be quite cynical at times Bill, but unfortunately there is some truth in what you've said....
       
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    24. emmalee
      No Mood

      emmalee Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ?
      Michael, I am not sure what you mean. Are you saying that you distrust women or bears.....or both? I found Bill's comment extremely odd, if I am to be honest. He does come across as odd on occasion I suppose, but you never have.
       
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    25. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery
      Okay @Bill Bauer I think I remember you are the type to keep yourself in a state of being solitary confinement.

      But some younger guys should not be encouraged to be bitter old men because they fear getting hurt feelings.

      Love and companionship are great. Sharing life is great.
       
      • Agree Agree x 4
    26. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      HI @emmalee

      I always like corresponding with you. Because Bill's comments touch on some rather sensitive issues I prefer not to elaborate on what I have written in reply to his post. I will say that I agree with some of the things he has said and it is unfortunate.

      All the best
      Michael
       
    27. emmalee
      No Mood

      emmalee Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ?
      I understand, Michael.
       
    28. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      This is much appreciated @emmalee
       
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    29. Jcb
      No Mood

      Jcb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      possible TMJ, came on after severe cold and chest infection,
      Love this Star, nicely put. Sharing your life experiences with someone is one of the most wonderful journeys in life. Even if it ends up in heartbreak and hurt..... as they say nothing ventured is nothing gained.
       
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    30. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Actually, I figured it out (there is more to it than what I wrote in this thread, and I had posted it on this site, so I am not going to write about it here) between the ages of 30 and 40. I wish someone were to spell it out for me when I was 14.

      By the way, I don't care about hurt feelings. I care only about my career/livelihood.

      Speak for yourself. What I had figured out is that living without having to make compromises is a lot better than a "ball and chain" living where you have to "share your life."
       
      • Funny Funny x 1

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