How to go from annoyed to accepting

Discussion in 'Support' started by Nich, Jul 19, 2014.

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    1. Nich
      Batty

      Nich Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Arkansas
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2014
      So as I work on focusing on my response to my T instead of my T's fluctuations (which is already making me feel a little more in control) I realized something. My primary response to my T is utter annoyance/irritation. I feel that emotion more than any other. How have people moved from intense irritation at their T to acceptance? Is it just a time thing? Or has anyone used some method? Maybe a CBT thing? A mindfulness thing? Just curious.
       
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    2. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      An annoyance stage is like a dream to me, I'm yet to get there but after nearly three years I just don't see that ever happening:(

      So I say enjoy the annoyance, it means you're moving forward!
       
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    3. Jack Tate
      Balanced

      Jack Tate Member

      Location:
      U.S.A. Carmel by the sea
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      For control,for me there is no such thing. It does what it wants ( accept, ignore?) my t has gone from a 10 high pitch, to a 1-2-3- some days 0... mostly in right ear,or side . It's taken almost a year-of living hell.
      To me t seems as a mis-firing brain- i take high doses of various vitamins,organic oils etc-meditation helps. Also use a mp -3 player ...I cherish the good days,each day " is a gift " i always remind myself there are many ppl worse off. Wish all the best!
       
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    4. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      @Jack Tate
      What supplements and oils do you find beneficial?
      Thanks!
       
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    5. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Yes, I did self help CBT after purchasing 'Feeling Good' by Dr. Burns. I realized back then I created a lot of the problem by believing in distorted thoughts which created nothing but stress and anxiety. After all, it is only a sound, some neurons misfiring. It is harmless unless we give it that power. So by realistically thinking it, the only difference we have compared to those people who have loud T but not stressed out by it is that we react negatively and emotionally and they didn't react to their T. So what if I could do the same. Then I would be like them and be well. I accepted the annoyance part. But all kinds of noise can be annoying if we allow them. So by reasoning realistically and by choosing to be more positive, I prevented from falling into many emotional black holes. This mental stability has helped the habituation process because the brain slowly agrees with my will that T is harmless be it annoying. Given time, the brain is not even annoyed by it. Yes, time is a very important ingredient. It takes time for the body to absorb in the new T sensation. But it will slowly get used to it. Some improvement will come. Believe it.
       
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    6. James7

      James7 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      You have to be relentlessly optimistic. As people with tinnitus, especially those of us who have tinnitus as only one symptom of a disease, there is always a reason right there to be depressed. It's very easy to to start going down that path into depression. So you just have to immediately, any time you have negative thoughts about it, replace it with something optimistic like "maybe it will get better", "maybe there will be a cure someday" "I can still do things anyone else can" etc.
       
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    7. MikeA
      Curious

      MikeA Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1992
      @Nich , good questions. You are wise to focus on your reaction to T and not its fluctuations. Personally I believe time, and masking as much as possible, is the key to moving toward acceptance. Masking simply helps distract the mind away from the aberrant sound as we seek to habituate. Then over time many find (an assumption here) they get tired of reacting to T. Takes a lot of energy, right? If we focus on taking care of our emotional and physical well being, as best we can, address sleep issues, etc, then we create room to adjust. Over time the sound become less of a threat and we find that T does not deserve the amount of attention we gave it at onset. Yes, mindfulness has a place here. In summary, becoming annoyed at T over and over again ends up being more troublesome than the T itself. I'll end by saying that my T is fairly modest. I am impressed by all who find peace amid intrusive T.
       
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    8. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      @Nich

      focusing on your reaction to T is great. What worked for me at the beginning and when I had a relapse 2 months ago is just try to IGNORE it. Time heals and when time passes with me ignoring my T, I notice that my reaction to is becomes less and less emotional.

      Sometimes I get annoyed. My T fluctuates a LOT, it's low most mornings and loud at night. It reacts to sounds, TV, city traffic, ventilation systems (I work in a call center). It rings louder around those sounds. But I try not to care and focus on something else... conversations with my coworkers, my actual work, the content of the TV program, etc... I'm becoming very good at shifting my attention to something else and just going back to whatever I was doing.

      Also what helps me: hey, it's been 2 months since my T spiked! At the beginning, I thought I would die from it. 2 months later, I'm still here, I've had great days, accomplished projects, had quality time with my family and my children... Wow, that's amazing!! So if I'm still here and doing fine after 2 months despite wanting to die 2 months ago, then that must mean I will be alright in the future!! T hasn't gotten the best of me in the 7 years since I've had it, why would things change in the future?

      Thinking positive brings positiveness to your life...!! I've noticed that when I have darker thoughts, I do feel like shit!!

      You have to change your whole outlook on life. You can do it!!!

      If you need to talk, feel free to PM me... I'm always willing to help.

      Anne-Marie xx
       
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    9. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      You see, I'm saying the same thing @James7 is saying... be optimistic!!
       
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    10. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      @Nich My T from 2007 to 2014 was very mild... I was 100% habituated, never listened to it and never got annoyed by it. It never fluctuated, as far as I know (how would I know, I NEVER cared after habituation, so it may have spiked but I never noticed!!) It took me 6 months to get there. My new T is louder, has new sounds, reacts to sounds like I mentionned...it is more annoying!! And yet I made the decision to stop caring, even if I can notice the fluctuations throughout the day...

      Even thought I know it varies during the day, I can spend hours not caring. For the past 2 weeks, I have even been able to have reactive T and not notice it unless I think about it!! Just so you understand, in city traffic, my T can be heard above it!! So what? I can still enjoy my break outside even if it rings like crazy in my head...screw it... and from what I understand, I will probably be able to habituate to this new T despite its new components.

      SCREW T!! Live your life!!!
       
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    11. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      @Nich one more thing...

      Ok your T fluctuates? So what??? Can you change something about it? Probably not!! If you start monitoring everything to see what impacts your T, you will slow your habituation process and it will drive you crazy!!

      The best thing is just to live a normal life and protect your ears when exposed to loud sounds. I did that from 2007 to 2014 with no changes to my T (but like I said, I was 100% habituated). In 2014, what changed my T is the fact I took antibiotics which were ototoxic. Otherwise, I would have the same damn T as ever... I drank coffee, alcohol, smoked cigarettes socially, went to concerts with earplugs and far away from the speakers, even went to clubs with earplugs...no spike...!!! T became a non-issue!

      I hope you don't find me harsh! I want to help you, as so many people on here helped me 2 months ago when I was miserable. We all understand you and we have so many success stories on here... you can become one too if you take matter into your own hands!!
       
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    12. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      Also, make sure to celebrate your victories over T! When you notice you have been able to ignore it for several hours, be happy about it and indulge yourself! 2 months ago, I did that... cool, I just spent a nice afternoon with the kids without T being an issue, let's cook a fantastic meal or go for ice cream!!

      And when you feel down, think about the time you spend without T being bothersome and go back to whatever you were doing!

      HUGS!
       
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    13. Nich
      Batty

      Nich Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Arkansas
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2014
      Thank you all! I'm trying to stay positive. It changed pitch a week or so ago to a super high frequency and I'm not getting much relief now as its harder to ignore. It's a mixture of the bad sleep this last week, very little time not hearing it, and increased anxiety I think from the wellbutrin. Also before the pitch changed it felt like I was just starting to adapt. Hearing it all day had started to bother me less. When I can get busy enough I don't hear it. But I'm just tired and want to have a restful weekend without having to keep constantly busy. I guess I'm just dealing with the adjustment phase. Thanks for all the positivity! !!
       
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    14. Jack Tate
      Balanced

      Jack Tate Member

      Location:
      U.S.A. Carmel by the sea
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Dear valeri. It was late last nite to reply. I posted on your profile page. Welcome :)
       

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