Hey guys. I'm new to the forum, but I've been dealing with tinnitus since I was a teenager. I made the mistake of playing drums in many bands without earplugs until I learned my lessons, but by then it was too late. I've taken care of my hearing the past several years, but the residual damage was too much to live normally. At any given time, I have a ringing in my ears around 18,000hz that never goes away. I don't notice it if I listen to music or soft sounds, but when I'm ready to go to sleep, it's always there. It's like coming home and waiting for the abuse to start. A few months back, the neighbors upstairs were being super loud and I couldn't sleep. I stuck my earbuds in and put on the same white noise track that I had always listened to via speakers. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I did. I woke up hours later with the earbuds still in, and I freaked out. There was a new rushing, whirring sound in my left ear that was never there before. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I tried to watch TV until I could calm down enough to sleep. These days, I can only hear that whirring noise if I plug my ears and concentrate, but it's always there. It never stops, and I never have relief from this. It's 24/7. Unlike other posts I see that are temporary, mine is permanent. Sometimes I can try the "fingers on the back of the head thump" trick to get a few seconds of relief, but it never lasts. I know there is no cure, so I know I'll probably have to live with this for the rest of my life. Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning or the middle of the night with a strangely loud ringing in one ear, and I'll have a panic attack. I'll pace around the bathroom until I can calm down enough to try and sleep again. My biggest regret is not taking better care of my hearing. I just wanted to vent. I'd love to hear from anyone in similar situations and those who want to share their stories. Thanks, and take care.