I Just Want to Lie on My Side

Guys. I just want to lie on my side. I want to sleep or lie on my side like I have been my whole life. I am not asking for the moon, I am not asking for Leonardo Dicaprio to marry me, I just want.....to simply..... lie on my side........ maybe even get some sleep. However, then it is way to loud. So. I must lie on my back.

That's it.

Why is that so complicated to understand, life.

I just want.

one.

simple thing.

some piece.

and quite.

God it makes me sooooo angry.

I know I know "being upset makes it worse".

I KNOW. MOM.

but.

I AM ANGRY.

I AM SO ANGRY.

SO mad.

Just let me be mad.

Just let me lie on my side.

Just let me

go to sleep

and maybe hear silence ever again.

Come on what is so complicated about this.

Life.

Get your shit together.

xoxo

-I hate you.

 

What you have written goes to the heart of the matter, because it's really the simple things that have been taken away.

I think we should crowd source a book of poems about tinnitus. Maybe get 70 members here to write a poem and choose an image to go with it. Make it an ebook, sell it on Amazon and donate the profits to Tinnitus Talk.

 

@Gigi. Lay down your burden and sleep my angel. Let you mind be at peace. Dream outside of your body and leave the world behind.

 

Lay down your burden
Sleep, my angel
Let your mind be at peace
Dream
outside of your body
Leave
the world behind.

 

I'm not good with poems but I do have a lot to say. Sign me up if this ebook thing goes live

 

Everyone is a poet. Break down your thoughts into their essence and you have poetry.

I need to learn more about publishing a book for Kindle on Amazon. When I've got it figured out, I'll post a message on the forum asking for people to submit their poems. I think it would be a great project to help us all deal with our emotions. It's also a good way to share with others what it's like to live with tinnitus, and touch them on an emotional level as well.

 

I can narrate them for you, when you do. http://voice123.com/darbycroasdale

 

Gigi,
Aww I totally understand about sleeping positions.
Try extra pillows and see if it helps.

Your words are well spoken and lovely for members to read.

The idea of a tinnitus E book of poems would be great and money for Tinnitus Talk .
I love poetry and definitely would put one on it .
Hope everyone has a good nights sleep .......lots of love glynis

 

@Cheza,
Lovely words and beautiful picture.....lots of love glynis

 

lol I didn't mean for that to be a poem, I was just super sleep deprived and upset. But yeah a ebook is a great idea. Let me know what happens with it! @Cheza where are you from in Oregon?

 

I feel your pain @Gigi how are you feeling now? A bit more positive I hope. In time you will be able to sleep on your side no problem. TRUST ME x

 

Hey @danny grant I hope so! Some days I am fine, and don't notice it much. Other days I am sad, and want it to go away. So it is back and forth. How are you?

 

@Gigi well that's good news then. If you are getting days where you don't notice it too much then that's brilliant. Over time them days will turn to weeks and so on. And even when you do, it won't be half as annoying to you as it is now . I'm good thankyou still having times where I'm bothered by it but just got ya keep going. I'm off for a long walk with my dogs then I'm going to watch football. Come on UNITED!! ( Man Utd). Peace and love x

 

It's like I mentioned to @Hariz Nonis, that if you write the essence of emotions, you have poetry. And what you wrote is very touching, it pulls the reader into your place of sorrow and anger, a powerful combination.

I better get busy and figure out how to publish an ebook. I know that images affect how much Amazon charges to publish a book on either Kindle or CreateSpace, but it's more about getting out the message than it is about profit. In other words, if we can draw more members to TT, that's a good thing, too.

I'm in northeast Oregon. This is the time of year when I would really enjoy hiking or walking on snow-covered trails, but unfortunately my tinnitus becomes more intrusive outdoors. Maybe I should write about how much I miss the silence of snow.

 

I felt the same way for a long time; somehow I can now lie on my side, read in quiet rooms, etc. I wish I could tell you how that happened, but it's complicated....

 

Well, I am not much of a poet. And it may sound like a super lame proposal, but have you considered getting yourself a pillow filled with millet? That's quite common where I am from. I know that in other countries, wheat fillings are more popular. Both would probably help you a bit, as they "crunch" constantly. I have always had this type of pillow, just learnt to appreciate this particular benefit recently.

 

This plus your avatar made me think of a Mushi-Shi episode called 'Tender Horns'.

 

Im from oregon ;0

 

I had to look it up. It's on a Hulu page, and I can't embed the video the way they've placed it. Definitely interesting about the Mushi-Shi. http://www.tv.com/shows/mushishi/tender-horns-1049093/

I chose Cheza as my avatar because of her devotion to the Arctic wolf in Wolf's Rain.

 

I love Oregon!

 

ive been lying in bed all day as well. wish i had more to snuggle up to than my dog hahah

 

I snuggle up to some pussy every night............(that's my cat) };-)

Wait a minute, I don't have a cat?

 

Hah you crack me up.

 

I'm from Oregon too, Portland. I love wolf's rain!!

 

Also guys I am sick, my T is loud and I can't sleep it is 4am here. Uh I have class tomorrow.... maybe I will not go? But I don't want to fall behind. WHY I GET T AND SICK DURING THE LAST SEMESTER OF GRAD SCHOOL WHY. I think maybe it is a funny joke from the Tinitus Gods?

 

Idk if my Tinitus is making me depressed, so my body is just giving up? But I am so sick. Now it is 5:30am. I know it is not my body's fault, but I can't help just being really mad at it. Why is it doing this to me....?

 

@Gigi, finish your last semester, even if it's rough. T may not last forever, but your degree will!

Hugs and prayers for you!

 

Portland is such a great city. Too far away for me to visit when I want, but it's my first choice. I love its energy.

I agree with @Sailboardman. Finish your semester. You're stronger than you think you are. Turn your focus away from the sound and let your mind's eye create a future adventure that's waiting for you. Immerse yourself in your imagination, somewhere far away, somewhere peaceful.

You're still very new to the tinnitus experience, and the more you can focus and distract yourself from it, the more likely it is to fade.