I Love My Tinnitus??

Wierd thread name, ha?

So, there are times when I can hardly hear my T. Either I get so into some tv movie,sitcom... Or traffic noise, birds singing etc masks it.

But I noticed something strange, when I kinda forget about T I force myself to hear it. Like it would be strange without that music in my ears. I can't help myself not to ask, do I love my T? Is that even possible? Haha I know, weirdo

Or maybe I'm obsessed with my sound, that it scares me not to hear it again?

I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense, just writing what's on my mind

 

I guess it makes you appreciate silence a heck more than a normal person! When I'm on trobalt, it's like the most amazing thing in the world...Gosh silence is amazing.

 

you are one crazy guy!!!

talk like that and nobody will ever find a cure for tinnitus!

 

We will find a cure! I'm in talks at the moment about keppra being a cure for hyperacusis, so that's one thing down.

 

Mmmh... maybe when you don't hear it, you are scared of hearing it again, that's why you look for it, to be sure it's not there. Does it make sense?

 

Funny thing, i remember when I was very very young, I told a friend, let me show you a trick, if you are in the dark and you feel afraid and want to see something, do this trick: look to your right and push your eye from the left side, you will see some weird lights, will never feel alone or scared anymore.
Well T is similar with the difference that we cannot control it, i guess people get used to it so much than if suddently stops will feel very weird and even want it back.

After 2h of white noise, what will surprise you more, when it suddently stops or when it continues sounding?

 

That for sure! Because it's unbelieveable how silence is underestimated.

@Valentina Hahah honestly, I have no idea I'd rather say that I want it to be there

Yeah! Exactly! That's the wierdest part..is that even normal
I have to tell you that after white noise I feel weird and because of that I don't mask my T with those noises

 

@Stink Ah sorry, that was never my intention, cure WILL be invented

 

I feel the exact same thing. I've had tinnitus for as long as I've remembered. I don't remember what it was like without it. I often concentrate on it at night when I need to feel safe or calm. I also do not hear it when there's loud enough sound to drown it out. (like when driving a car.) Recently, when I was doing a hearing check, I was placed in a sound proof booth. After she closed the door and before she fitted me with those ear plugs, my tinnitus stopped. It was awful. It felt like the was this insane pressure in my head, and I was on the verge of a panic attack. Luckily, the ringing returned upon application of the ear buds. I've had a new appreciating for my tinnitus since then.

 

What are you taking about? How could this hell be good? I think you lost silence and you don't know what you lost. I remember when I didn't have T. It was different from now.

 

Snow...all about perspective. You haven't arrived because like myself, you haven't had tinnitus that long.

Actually what the OP writes about loving tinnitus has credence I believe...or at least the notion or call it a paradigm.
Tinnitus...a companion. How bad a companion is it? Or...can one develop an affinity for it? Not sure if love is forced...I would say mostly not. Biggest struggle I believe people have with tinnitus is their deep seated hatred of it. So...if this can be turned around...of course love of tinnitus is even better than acceptance.
Since getting it a few months back I have considered what it would be like to live once again in silence. How much different is it compared to my new norm of constant hissing in my ears? Also when distracted or outside it sometimes melts away for hours. My constant companion leaves for a while. And then, once again it re-emerges. Love and tinnitus aren't often used together but if somebody can get to this place...and I am doing better on the acceptance front at least, then loving their tinnitus maybe the best destination.

 

Who said Stockholm syndrome is a bad thing? If you can't beat it, embrace it!

 

or a mantra often embraced in business as unpalatable as many choices are....many of which aren't a choice at all...
learn it, love it, live it.

 

Tinnitus, it's the reminder you're still alive

 

Depends how loud it is all this I love my T and how much pressure you have..deary me..............its like people saying Rejoice its only spirits trying to commuunicate with you

 

That's true. If it feels like the devil is screaming his lungs out inside your head it'd be nigh impossible to make the experience your friend.

 

I hate my tinnitus! It hurts and it has stolen parts of my life. I would give almost anything to be rid of it. I have somehow learned to live with it and be relatively happy in spite of it but I still hate it. It's not a companion to me....more like an overbearing roommate.

 

Most people with chronic pain or ' recovering process' will sometimes have to look for it. I know from personal experience as my chronic pain diminished in intensity, I had many days where I had to ask my brain, where is the pain. Guess what, the brain obliged and there it was. So this sounds like the same mental process people dealing in chronic pain experience, because in a way, isn't this in the same catagory as chronic pain.
So whether you call this recovery from tinnitus or habituation, it's kinda all the same, with 1000's of stories of people where it doesn't bother them any longer.
The emotional response is identical to response in chronic pain when it hits. And it can hit overnight, just like T. I don't believe anyone ever FULLY recovers from chronic pain or many other things, rather they learn to adjust and accept it for what it is. I know myself, if I have a pain pop up, it may last a few days or a week, but I can disregard it as just a nuisance now, versus freaking out over it. Just like the people I read that say their T will spike, then when they review their current situation, there is always something that brought it on.

I know I'm new to this T thing and hopefully will be recovered to a point like my chronic within a reasonable amount of time, so anything I may post, take that into consideration.
BUT, right now IT IS a living HELL for me & I have had all those horrible feelings & thoughts I never in my life thought I would. Hope is the ONLY thing keeping my head above water right now and each day, the hope light dims ever so slightly.