I'm 20 Years Old, Tinnitus for Years, Getting Progressively Worse

[producedbyghost]

I'm a 20 year old producer. I've been playing every musical instrument under the sun, since I was about 6. I started on the drums. I can remember my uncle saying that I don't need hearing protection because "if it's too loud, you're too old". I can remember telling my mom the same thing, proudly, when she would scold me for not using covers. I remember her warning me that I could lose my hearing.

But never in my life did I imagine it would be like this.

I've had tinnitus for years. Probably every day since I've been 15? I had it very moderately before that. Yesterday it exploded. I couldn't hear anything other than my tinnitus. I couldn't speak, I could hardly move, I just had to sit in the corner with my hands pressed into my skull, begging for it to stop. I can't remember the last time I cried. But I did today, because it's not going away. I know it's only been 2 days. But I can't deal with this anymore. It's just getting progressively worse, much more recently in the last year or so.

Not only that, my livelihood comes from music. This is actually devastating. I didn't go to college, I dropped out of highschool. All in the pursuit of this. And tinnitus is taking it all away from me. Slowly but surely, it's actually ruining my life.

It's putting me in a horrible mood, and I'm unintentionally taking it out on my girlfriend. I don't know what else to do besides vent, because all I want to do is scream in reality.

I don't even have insurance. I cannot afford to have this happen right now. I'm trying to remain positive, but everything I enjoy doing just makes it worse.

I've always been able to cover it up, through music, movies, TV shows, distractions. Nothing, at all, is covering it. It just gets louder and louder and louder, and it won't stop. I've been sick, I know that that can cause it to flare up, or so I've read around here.
I'm just hoping that someone, somewhere, eventually fixes this. It's torture, and I hate myself for not being smarter when I was younger.

I don't know how to end this, so I apologize if this is abrupt.
Have a good night.

 

[Michael Leigh]

I've had tinnitus for years. Probably every day since I've been 15? I had it very moderately before that.

HI @producedbyghost

I am sorry to know that you are going through a difficult time at the moment with tinnitus. I and many others in this forum know how this condition can affect a person when it reaches severe levels and the depths that it can take them too. I am going to give you some advice and it's your choice whether you choose to listen or not. You have had tinnitus a long time since the age of 15 as mentioned in your post. However, your ears have had enough of being exposed to loud sound and this is the reason the tinnitus has increased to the level it is now.

If you're not careful and don't change your ways the tinnitus will probably get worse, a lot worse. Give your ears some rest and stop playing musical instruments, listening to loud music and being around loud sounds. I also advise you not to use headphones even at low volume. Please click on the links below and read my posts.

Take care and hope you start of feel better soon.

Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-to-tinnitus-what-to-do.12558/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

[Pawel1]

I'm sure that one day, you will be able to do what you love, without any restraints. There are hundreds of millions of people with Tinnitus, and the cure for Tinnitus is coming, but we just don't know if it's going to come in a year, 2 years or 5 years. There are many different things that could ease your Tinnitus, but it's not guaranteed.

Keep strong, and please don't regret your decisions about dropping education.

 

[Michael B]

I've had severe tinnitus since its onset, nearly nine years. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't deal with it to one degree or another. I'm not suggesting that yours will be like this but I am saying that even when it's bad, there is still a way to live a normal life. I say this because I live a normal life and so can you. There are others here who are musicians themselves and will hopefully give sound advice on how you can continue on with your music career.