Long story short, my ex girlfriend told me on my Bday that she has been dating a woman for the last 4 months, and has been leading me on / lying to me. The girl found out, so my ex girlfriend lies and pretended none of it happened, and then told me to "F#$k off" and that she would never speak to me again, as if it was my fault she fabricated this elaborite lie. Anyway, I've known her for 3 years, so this pain is quite deep. I'm stuck wondering how people can be so cruel. It's not even just that she left me for a woman (that hurts too), but more that she lied, and then lied to cover up her lie and made me feel responsible even though she knows what I'm going through, and for some reason... I do? How do I get over what she did to me, while getting over tinnitus, while conquering my extreme anxiety and the death of my brother? This feels like an endless maze where I only get stuck, cornered by my problems until their weight feels like its crushing me. Oddly enough, I've started to habituate to my tinnitus. Though whenver I get super anxious, my thoughts spiral out of control into "I'll never get over how she treated me, I'll never find anyone if I can't even go outside due to anxiety, If I had my brother I think I could make it, even if I get over everything my tinittus is still there and I will never be really happy again." Like I said, these things cause me to think of the other terrible things and I have no idea how to approach any of this. Medication is out of the question, I refuse to take it. I go to a psychologist, though I'm not sure it helps. The worst of these problems sadly, is the anxiety. I feel disconnected from the real world "derealization", as if i'm watching a movie and its terrifying. I am anxious 24/7 for no reason, always on the verge of panic and I don't know why... The anxiety / derealization came first, for no reason at all, and it hasn't left. Does anyone have any insight as to how to conquer the anxiety, or any at ALL for any of these problems? I want to be happy again. I have not had a day where I have been happy throughout for far too long, this isn't a life worth living. I'm open to suggestions.