Mild Tinnitus... Still Deeply Disturbed

The tinnitus is mild but constant. My brain is always searching for it and just won't let go and im always terrified and stressed about it. Even when distracted part of my brain is still searching constantly, even if i cant find it. I just can't accept my hearing having flaws.

When trying to sleep and mask it i can still feel the activity in my brain and also starting to notice more things sounding just wrong, like fans making pure tone noises. Usually can get to sleep but wake up after a couple hours and just spend the rest of the night craving silence. Had a couple nightmares early on hearing the noise.

Every waking moment i am restless and feel relief is never coming. I dont know how to cope or relax. I dont do very many activites, before i was just very happy reading sleeping or playing video games alone in silence.

 

You should look on the bright side and be happy that you have a mild T… Many among us have it quite loud and still find a way to habituate to it...

Keep more busy with different activities and more sport as it will help you focus on other things rather than you T and you will be more tired in the evening so it will be easier to fall asleep… I swim, indoor rock climbing and yoga for example...

Look at things like magnesium and zync which help you relax and sleep better… A good sleep is super important, so if you need to you could also look into sleeping pills, but try not to unless you really have to…

Don't look for it all the time and eventually you will habituate to your mild T and it will not bother you as much..

Best of luck and wish you a fast habituation..

Take care of yourself and your ears...

 

Thanks, forgot to mention it also worries me a lot since I wanted a quiet career dealing with math as an actuary, and I'm afraid I can no longer handle it. I just don't feel my personality and tinnitus are compatible. My sister who kinda got me into this mess says she's had it since a kid after a school dance and doesn't bother her. I feel very betrayed by her especially since she was/is in med school and still put me through this. She asked me to endure the club noise for her sake. She's still clubbing every week without any protection.

My current job is in a cable manufacturing place. I have a loud machine next to me that runs all day long but wear ear protection all day long for it.

 

Try to find a masker which works for you and eventually it will help you with your math job in the future. Something which covers your T enough so that you don't focus on it but not distracting from your work either..

I found that different maskers help me in different ways.. If I want an afternoon nap I might put water sounds or zen sounds, but when I go to sleep the only masker which helps me is fire sound.. I don't know why but they would not work the other way around… Also when I work I go for meditation kind of sounds...

Play around with different maskers. Also the ATA has a masking mixer you can play around with in order to find your best masking sounds…

Best of luck !

 

@James P

I'm in a similiar situation. T doesn't go very well with my character. I have a history of beeing oversensitive to stress, am a bit paranoid, and my main interest in life is peace and quiet, and meditation. Having a never ending sound in my head, which might get worse if I'm unlucky, is almost as bad as beeing crippled

I'll give you a few advices that may or may not be useful to you, but probably aint any worse than what friends or doctors would contribute with.

1. Do your best to make sure the T doesn't get any worse. If you have earmuffs at work, wear foam earplugs beneath them. If you have earplugs, have earmuffs or noise cancelling headphones on the outside. Eat a healthy amount of antioxidants, preferable as they come in natural form but average amounts og factorymade supplements probably won't hurt. Antioxidants protect your ears against noise induced damage, and help them heal in the initial stage.

2. Forget about your sister. Yes, it's her fault but she didn't know any better and she had no idea what it would do to you. Even if you make her understand, it will only make her feel bad and she can't change what's been done. Beeing angry at her is pointless, but remember the lesson: only you know what's good for you, so don't worry about turning request from others down.

3. It's possible to live with pain and suffering, and from now on you'll just have to do it. Enjoy what you can, to the extent that it's possible. Before you know it, T might have transformed from a curse to a hassle.

If I understand the scientific stuff correct, nerve cells in the ear have been blasted away. When the auditory cortex in the brain notice the lack of input, it turns up the volume and with this hypersensitive activated neurons will start firing off for no reason and thus create false rapports about sounds that actually doesn't exist.

Can this be fixed?

Personally I doubt that any present treatment can make nerve cells grow back. If they had that dormant ability, it would kick in on its own. A scientific breakthrough isn't around the corner. If it would show up, it probably wouldn't be perfect. Compare with how you can have an injured knee replaced by an artificial one, but it wont be as good as the real thing.

This doesn't necesserily mean we are out of options, though. If you can't do anything about the injury in the ears, what about the reaction in the auditory cortex? It's not like brain activity is beyond change. So far, it has only been tried out in unimaginative ways, such as having a T-sufferer listeining to certain sounds for hours and hours (Acoustic Neuromodulation).

I think that the best chance is a combination of lifestyle, meditation practice and hypnotic techniques. Even if you're able to put all these pieces together, probabilty of success is unclear. I plan to have a go at it on a later stage, but there are other things I neeed to do first.

 

Thanks for the support, I wish you the best of luck and maybe I can follow your example.

I was pretty laid back and lazy before and just liked to stick to routine. This tinnitus is forcing me to change in ways I don't like. Always gotta be doing something now or I just get really depressed and scared. I haven't tried much yet to fix myself, mostly stuck to my old habits with some occasional masking and just keep feeling a gradual slip in sanity.

Who knows, maybe I can become a better person in the eyes of society through all this. Although I'm not sure I'll be able to replace the peace and tranquility my mind once enjoyed.

 

When you take nap using those masker sound you ever wake up with a loud T which before nap was actually low T?

 

Hi @Thongjy

I usually keep the masker going for about 30 minutes (not for the entire nap or sleep) and I try to keep it at a level which just hides a bit my T but doesn't really play over it..

I don't feel changes on my T intensity before or after the nap… Luckily so far my T has been pretty much consistent and doesn't change nor spikes much.. I do however try and protect my ears as much as possible and I haven't been in any loud place since my T onset, so no more discos/cinemas/concerts/festivals for me for the time being.. don't know about the future… Luckily I already had my good share of those things in the past, so don't miss them as much..

Ciao !! Take care of yourself and your ears !!

 

Are you taking any supplements at moment? If so what are they?

 

I used to take more supplements but now I just take some magnesium in the evening before sleeping… And sometimes if I have more problems in getting tired I just have a joint which puts me straight into sleeping mode… I know it might not be the best strategy but much better than sleeping pills in my opinion.. But hey we are all different, so I guess whatever works for you is ok…

Best of luck !!!

 

Same here. All I ever wanted was peace and quiet. Enjoing the silence. And look at me now, T is tormenting my soul. Destroying me.


@James P , how are things now?

Maybe we should opt for cochlea implants? They might be the last chance. I wouldn't mind being deaf on one ear as long as I get my peace back.

 

We should consider ourselves lucky for the time being with mild T (those who have it).
Some samples i have heard made me cringe to no end.Godspeed to all of you.

 

About the same, I feel a very very gradual adjustment happening. Still feel sour that it happened to me after my first experience with loud music, which just seems extremely unlucky. It was going to be the only time in my life and I thought just an hour would be safe. I must have just been more prone than most people, I always hated loud music.

It's still hard to relax, always feel on alert. I'm being a little ocd in my actions because I'm trying to find something stable to comfort and distract me. It's hard to lose myself in imagination and thought, I keep being interrupted. It's difficult to ignore, people say you tune it out like a refrigerator or air conditioner but I always felt annoyed by any background noise before I had tinnitus. I'd often turn off the sound while playing video games just because silence sounded so good.

I do feel like I'm very slowly reducing my reaction to the sounds. I know this is going to take a long time, I have to rewrite a lifetime of how I used to process sounds. I have my first appointment for a mental health clinic this Wednesday, I'm hoping maybe mindfulness therapy or something can give relief in the future.

Has it gotten any easier for you? I read one post you lost hearing from 2.4k to 24k hearing in your left ear, if so I can't imagine what that's like. My hearing is mostly intact up to 16k, 18k if loud enough. There's definitely something off that I can't figure out though. The reason I'm distraught is because my silence feels flawed and tainted when it used to be perfection that I took great comfort in.

 

@James P,
Nope, not one iota easier so far. It feels like I have a sponge in my middle ear. The hearing sounds dull and muffled. Prior to T when I wanted to sleep or study every noise annoyed me. Only the rain and the wind I liked. I couldn't stand the refrigerator noise, or the washing machine or the dryer. For years I've been using earplugs when drying my hair. I always protected my ears. Always.

It's impossible to relax for me. Just falling asleep is a miracle right now. The noise is so killing it. I think I never had so many headaches in my entire life like I'm having since the onset of T. I get these extreme high noises lately it sounds like scratching a fork on a plate or chalkboard or a dentist's drill. It really hurts, and I have no clue how anybody in the world could ignore that.

I consider going to my ENT see if he could give me something.

So, you played video games in total silence? Funny. I used to just turn off the background music in games so I could hear everything else better.

 

@Hindu only some games with all sound off. Usually just with the music off. And I still can't stay relaxed for more than a couple seconds and only get 3 hours of sleep a night before waking and can't get back to sleep. Toss and turn the rest of the night. Any stress I feel spirals out of control because I don't know how to handle it. Yea I feel a dull headache most of the time too.

I don't feel I'm getting used to the noise, so much as I'm getting used to feeling stressed and scared all the time. One of the sounds is a series of beeps every 6 seconds that sounds like a distant truck backing up. I learned to be alert when i heard a truck backing up so its hard to change. I'm scared because I can't trust my ears anymore.

I wish I trusted my instincts, ditched my sister and avoided this mess.

I do have good moments out with friends were i do pretty much forget about it for awhile and ride the good feeling through the night for a good sleep.

I want it to get better for us. I'll never get back what was lost but if I just lose the emotions attached to my tinnitus I could be ok. Ent wouldn't do anything for me since I have it mild.I hope they can help you.

 

@James P

You might get it back. I think your t might go actually. You didnt have huge noise exposure.

Matt

 

Peace and quiet was also what I wanted the most. Not gonna happen now when I'm stucked with this T-thing. What haven't I done during my life just to be in a positionen where I can tell the rest of the world to leave me the bloody hell alone. Much good did that do me. Life made a fool of me, for sure.

I haven't had a proper look at the scientific stuff just yet, but any research or treatment aiming at the rebellic neurons in the auditory cortex is probably what would have the best chance of success. They're doing stuff they aren't supposed to, so getting them somewhat back into their natural track shouldn't be completly out of the question.

The main reason to why I'm sceptical about brain slashing (unless it's done VERY throughly, of course) is that when the body screws up, the right answer usually is to help its own systems to do their thing. Perhaps this goes for T as well.

I just don't know what to say when I read this. Of all the chambers located in Hell, there can't be many that's much worse than the one you've been locked up in.

 

I can so relate to this! I used to occupy myself very well. But I also cherished to moments when I went out and about to get to know new people. Being supersocial. And T totally killed that now.

I've found this,

It's still invasive but not as invasive as a CI.

Agreed, brain slashing should be the last resort.

I am lost. Trapped inside the worst chamber of hell there is and no one can help me. I so need a break.

 

@James P , toss and turn you name it! I can't handle it much longer either.

Yes, same here. I want it to get better for us! I just know if T isn't going away I will never ever have a calm moment in my life again. I won't be able to concentrate or to function. And that would mean my very existence is meaningless IMO. I think I'm getting a nervous break down soon. Gosh, I so wish I could go back in time and prevent this from happening.

You should have listened to your instincts. So am I.
If the ENT can't help, I must find someone that will; no matter the price. I need a solution. Something..

 

Quite interesting. If they put stuff inside peoples ear, they must have some medical skill, and the place where they do the research is appearantly linked to a teaching institution. At a first glance, this doesn't seem like one of the usual attempts to sell snake skin oil.

A pacemaker for T-sufferers ... It seems like such an obvious solution doesn't it? All people who participated in the study showed improvements, but there's no mention of anyone beeing cured, so we're not taking about a magic bullet here. But if there's technology that helps for real it will be refined in time.

What I don't like about the study is that only three people participated, and that no one of them kept the Tinnelec. What's up with that? The only way to find out is to hunt down the participants and ask them. Regardless, it's a good thing that there's reseach like this carried out.

Many people have tried to get out of the T-purgatory but when it comes to make the sound quiet down, a method is yet to be found. Several of those thousands who failed were smarter than us, made more research, had more money to invest and spent years searching.

If you want do to what has never been done before, that means you challenge the principles of reality. That's like trying to sit down on Gods throne, even if it's just for a moment. What will it then require to climb the whole way from one of the deepest buried chambers of Hell to the control room in Heaven, when no one have made it before? Answering that will take some time I'm afraid, but at least now we know the question, and this first step shouldn't be underestimated.

In the short run, you may want to consider drugs. Just make sure that none of those respectably pushers with education and nice offices prescribe something that makes your T worse. The information you need should be available here on TT.

Hang in there. I'd rather have you around than not.

 

@James P & @NiNyu & @Vincent R

I just wanted to drop in for a second and say that it can get better. You can feel as horrendous as you feel and still feel peaceful again someday. My T has quieted down a little since I got it (acoustic trauma) and I rarely am bothered at all by what remains - even when I get a very loud spike. My level of annoyance is nothing compared to most of the first 1.5 years I had it, when my brain and body were constantly terrified. When I was at your point in time with T, I was in hell. I felt trapped, I wanted out of life in the most serious and final way possible, I missed months of work, receded from the world, took meds to get even three hours of sleep or to try not to have panic attacks during the day. I lost 15 or so pounds, was too anxious to eat. It was hell, and I know you know how terrible and terrifying that feels. I am so, so, so deeply sorry you are there right now. The difficulty of the early days of T for someone who truly suffers from it is terrifying beyond words.

I do understand that what I'm saying probably feels impossible to you right now, and everyone is different, but I was reading your posts and remembered saying near exactly what you're saying. Things got so, so much better with time and this is the case for most people I have seen on this board in the years I've been reading this board since I got my own T almost two years ago now.

Things are not over, you can be okay (or more than okay) again. Don't lose hope and don't get a cochlear implant or cut your auditory nerve or anything - many people who do that still have T afterward.

Do take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and be forgiving of yourself.

I hope you all feel some measure of relief as soon as possible, I'm sending good vibes/prayers/thoughts your way.

 

@Vincent R , Indeed it seems like the obvious solution, if you want to address exlusively the neurons in the auditory cortex you have to stimulate the cochlea nerves. Similar to a CI.
I read about a woman that was deaf from birth and she had the musical ear syndrome (MES) for many years. Then she got a CI and MES disappeared on one side. After she got her second CI she had silence for the first time.
So, if there is an implant that can be attached to the cochlea nerve/cochlea without damaging the inside of the cochlea..
..true it's not a cure yet.
'hunt down the participants and ask them.' How?

I'm scared of the side effects of drugs. Most do more damage than good. Besides, is there really any drug that can provide silence? Real silence?

I try to hang in.. well, I am forced anyway. Although, I like your poetic words and beautiful mind -- If I had the right meds I'm craving for.. I would be free. And we could meet in wonderland; some day.

 

@awbw8 , thank you for sharing. I'm in tears now.. and yes it really does feel impossible right now. Somehow I doubt I can be in this condition for another year or more. My senses are way to sensitive. And hearing is a very powerful sense. This condition is terrifying beyond words!

I wonder why is that with a CI ?

 

Hi @NiNyu, I know it feels impossible, I'm so sorry Don't give up though, I promise you, I felt like it was impossible, too. I, too, was and am extremely emotionally and physically sensitive person - especially to sound. It was devastating on many levels for T to happen, it was like my own personal torture because I loved silence to much and loved music - I know most of us feel that way, but just know you're not alone.

I just read a post from someone on the forum who got T about a year ago, and just yesterday he came back and said it was so much better. Check it out - you'll have to scroll down for the positive post he made more recently: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/nearly-2-weeks-in-and-struggling.4283/#post-101132

He said, "Just thought I'd update and let y'all no am a million times better than this time last year and it does get better like all y'all said so thanks and take care god speed."


As the the Cochlear Implant, there are probably more posts around here about that specifically, but Tinnitus isn't just in your ear, it can be in your brain, ear or both, depending on the cause. Even if it started in the ear, it can end up in the brain - a repeating loop responding to damage done in the ear (if you had acoustic trauma or instance.) Anyway, if you cut the link between the ear and the brain, that's not going to get rid of the tinnitus sound being created in your brain, just sounds that were being heard, still healthily by the ear, and transmitted to the brain. It's really not a good choice at all to get a cochlear implant unless your hearing is so bad you have something to gain from it.

The good thing is, what's making you feel so terrible right now is your brain, that's the part that's going to habituate - that fight or flight link between the T sound and the emotional center of your brain will lessen and change with time. It takes time to get used to something that scared you in the beginning, but it will happen

You're in the right place for support. Always feel free to reach out to us!

 

A straight forward approach would be to contact the researchers at the ENT Department of Hannover Medical School, explain that you suffer from T, and since you're interested in their treatment you would like to talk to the participants in their study. Of course, chances are you would be ignored, since the participants surely have been guaranteed privacy.

If I were determined to get in touch with them, I would perhaps look at German communities for T-sufferers. Another option would be to start writing articles for some magasin or homepage for people with hearing disabilities. Once I had some articles published, I could make one about the Tinnelec implant. The opportunity to get some good PR can work wonders when it comes to make people cooperate.

But frankly, I have no interest of what so ever to have a Tinnelec implant myself no matter how well it worked out for others. I just think it's good that there are some serious attempts to adress the neurons that are messin' about. I won't try any invasive treatment until it's perfectly clear that it works and there will be no nasty surprises afterwards. I got T because I lowered my guard, and I'd rather die than repeat that mistake.

I'd rather die in any case of course, but that's not the point.

Not that I know of, but perhaps you could find something that at least quiet it down a little bit, or help you to relax. But I'd be scared of the side effects as well, and I would't use anything unless I've confirmed that there are people here on TT that do, without getting any worse.

Chances are there will be an effective drug eventually, though. Normally, I'm not the one to believe that medical science will help me out, but I stumbled across a TT-member called ResonanceCeo, and after reading his background and posts, I started to wonder. The fella is about to go deaf and suffer from T himself. He's the CEO of a medical device company in Chicago, which works with some big shot at Northwestern University. Here is what he writes in his presentation:

Even before I began to get hearing loss, I always have been unnaturally fascinated by the ear. I spent spent 3 months drilling the ear structures out of temporal bones during medical school while I was on a family medicine rotation. I would go to the lab after clinic and drill late into the night - even on weekends. I know that's weird - I don't know anyone who has ever done that.

Its really a strange coincidence that I ended up with such bad hearing loss - kind of like fate, because despite my interest in the ear, I would not have pursued this so strongly if I did not have the threat of losing my own hearing.

Now, I have all kind of strange hobbies myself, but not even I would come up with the idea of drilling bones from the ear during my weekends. Take into accout that if T never gets cured, it's his ass on the line together with all the rest of us. He also seems to believe it's his destiny to be a part of this breakthrough.

My point is that this guy is hardcore. He's the real deal. So if he tells me something, I'm not about to believe he's bullshitting me. And here is what he says:

The specific aim of the company [his company, that is] is to provide continuous drug delivery to the ear using a pump that delivers medication over weeks.

[...]

The drug that are coming out in the next five years may not need an optimized system like mine, but for gene therapy - which needs very precise delivery, and for people like me who have low frequency hearing loss - which requires coverage all the way at the top of the cochlea, my drug delivery system is going to be vital. So if you have high frequency HL and T the upcoming drugs are going to be just fine.

Here's some other stuff he has posted:

My collaborator at Northwestern University, Claus Richter, is developing laser technology that stimulates the cochlear nerve with laser light, thereby eliminating the electrical cross-talk between traditional electrode channels. This allows more channels (i.e. a higher range of frequencies) and higher fidelity for each channel.

More stuff in the pipeline that is aiming at those god damn neurons. But there's more:

Just be patient - the drugs will be here in five years or less.

I'm a bit worried to have to put up with this T-crap for the nearest 50 years. But five years? I could to that standing on my head. Or, if necessary, beeing completly psychotic if that's what it takes.

He also writes:

There has been so much innovation in the 6 years that I've been working on the problem, that there is no way that a solution isn't just around the corner.

Like I said, usually I would't pay any attention to optimistic claims like this. I can tell when I'm done for, and getting T is it. But Dr Frankestein of late-nights-drilling-into-ear bones here sure knows more about T than I'll ever forget, so brushing him off wouldn't make any sense.

Maybe I shouldn't ask you to hang in like I do. I only do it because I like talking to you, so it's such an egoistical thing to do.

Staying in touch after death is a cool idea, and it's not new to me. But I did spend some years looking for people I remembered from one previous existence or the other, and as far as I know I never found them. So I suspect it may be hard to put into practice.

 

Just a few words. I'm 5 months into t and have a 'quiet' corporate job. The first 3 months were very difficult and i questioned my ability to continue. Now, the t is still an annoyance but im actually starting to ween off of masking sounds and i know for certain ill be doing fine. This past 2 weeks i used maskers about half the days only. That is huge progress in getting my life back. This weekend no maskers at all (during the day). Again, my t is still an annoyance but i am steadily recapturing my old life and you will too. As for me, i made little 'real' progress for 3-4 months. Then out of the blue t started to be much less impactful. Not everyday is great, but the good days are definetely building in number after months of little progress. I have no doubt I can hold out until a cure comes along even if its 5-10 years down the road. I would love to see that sooner than later, but, i know im fine until that day comes. Then we'll hold a big ex-t party somewhere ☺

 

@tshapiro I'm glad to hear things are turning a corner. I hope I start having good days, not a day has gone by yet where I haven't felt depressed most of the time, and always generally anxious. I'm looking at getting into a quiet corporate career so it's good to know it's still possible for me.

It would be very comforting if I knew I would have a complete cure in 5-10 years, that wait is trivial. But I just don't know if damage on such a small scale can be repaired to proper conditions. When that day comes I would definitely be down for a big party, as long as it's not too loud .

@Vincent R Thanks for all the info and help you've provided, it's made a big difference for me. I'm also weary on messing any further with my ears, I just learned my lesson on how fragile they are and don't want to be taking chances.

I find your's and NiNyu's perspectives on after death interesting. My belief is this is the one and only existence I'll have. I'm not at all religious but I think it's a miracle I'm even alive in the first place, my intuition tells me the odds of even existing once in all time are infinitely close to zero. It's what keeps me going, thinking this is my only chance at life and I don't want to waste it because of one mistake. I felt great once I think I can feel it again someday.

 

Just wondering. When is T mild and when not?

 

Hard to say, I'll say how I view it. I haven't experienced severe to compare though. This is my best guess at a definition so hope I don't offend anyone, I don't claim to be right.

I think its a personal distinction, no rigid definition, and all relative to your own experience. For me I consider it mild because it's hard to imagine it being quieter without being gone. A person who considers it severe would probably think they're cured if they suddenly experienced what I do. A person who thought it was severe at one point could have it get much worse and may then consider their previous state mild.

To try for an absolute definition, I'd say it's mild if it has little impact on your ability to function, more annoyance than anything else, and is often nearly invisible in a place busy with sounds. It be severe if sounds have to compete with tinnitus to be heard and can be T can be clearly heard no matter what outside sounds are present. I would also think frequency and severity of spikes make a difference as they deter you from certain activities and bring mood swings.

Honestly there's too much variation in tinnitus for just two categories. Doesn't accurately cover the full spectrum.

 

Thanks. Do you hear it in the shower or a running Tap. With me i don't now if it's mild.
There are days when its low and only hear it in silent but here are also days when i hear it all day long. Even over the tv. The dentist told me i have TMD overworked jaw muscles. One day i dont give a damn about it and the next day it is only on mine mind.