Moments of False Hope Where I Think My Tinnitus Might Finally Calm Down or Go Away

Does anyone else go through these moments where they think, "Ok this is it, this is when my ears/brain finally calm down and this goes away."

I get this in three different scenarios:

1. The tinnitus comes down from a spike and I feel that it could just keep going downwards.

2. I'll hear a certain noise that clams things out for a second and gives me something closer to silence.

3. I'll get a huge and intense spike in one ear, it will ramp up and up and up and then it will drop back down to "normal." However, when it drops backs down it drops past "normal" and it gives me a second of absolute quiet. My ears have always done this even prior to my forever hiss, but each time this happens I tell myself, "This is it. Your brain is going to reset and things will go back to normal." Although it never does.

This is such a strange disorder. I never knew it existed before I got it. I wish it didn't exist. I've always been a quiet person and I feel like my favorite activities (reading in a quiet room or quietly watching the world go by) have been stolen from me.

 

Ugh.

 

I feel you brother. Those things were really taken from you, and from us. Eventually we arrive at an understanding. Instead of "reading in a quiet room", we must now indulge in reading but never a "quiet" room anymore. Instead of "quietly watching the world go by", we must now loudly watch the world go by... And you'll find out a sunset is still beautiful, even with a screeching noise in the brain (trust me, mine's the classic 8 kHz that's ALWAYS there plus spiking a couple of times per day). Watching the sky, feeling a breeze... they are what they are, PLUS the screeching noise.

Your new "friend" is a bothering one, but don't let him drive you out of your home (suicide, just in case I'm not straight enough). Do your time, and eventually, time will do you

 

That's quite a while since your last posting where you were in quite a bad state. Good to hear you are seemingly better?

Are you able to give an update of your symptoms, tinnitus, medication, situation, job etc?

 

Sounds like you're doing better! That's really good mate.

 

Not anymore.

I have not experienced any of the specific scenarios you describe, but various days or evenings when I thought: "I barely hear any hissing. This feels normal right now, almost like it was before 2020. I may have my life back."

Of course this hope never survived even one single night. The life I had prior to 2020 will never come back.

 

Yes brother, I am, in fact, better. I'm pleasantly surprised. I didn't think at ALL I'll be able to recover... I attribute it to neuroplasticity (amongst a thousand variables we might never discover). My brain eventually lowered the amount of releasing adrenaline (due to the tinnitus sound) and such, significantly.

Instead of 11 pills to sleep, I now only take 4: 500 mg Valproic Acid, a mix of herbs plus 3 mg of Melatonin (all-in-one pill), 1 mg Clonazepam (down from 2 mg) and 0.25 mg Alprazolam (down from 1 mg).

I've already removed Quetiapine from that list and recovered my ability to go BACK to sleep... something I wasn't able to do since this all started...

I can ALMOST fall asleep without the pills but I'm slowly tapering them off.

Turns out the brain ACTUALLY adapts, and it's crazy to behold. I was just not such a patient fellow
Because one thing is for sure... It takes its time.

I have nothing against the pills, they saved my life. But in my own case, I was already using Cannabis, so it's too many drugs in my system for one purpose, to relax it.

And I remember what was like when I took out my body's chemical relaxant... (after the extraction of 3 teeth). A neurological nuclear bomb of excitotoxicity went off...

Anyways, luckily, that's all part of the past now. And the lesson remains.

Thank you for being there when I was at my worst... Every cheering word was a centimeter away from the trigger, that's for sure.

People seriously don't realize the gripping darkness of chronic disease.

P.S. Oh, and the symptoms are still there. It's a highly pitched 8 kHz sound, mainly on my left "ear" but also on the right one. Constant but unbothering spikes. When I do concentrate on it, it does bother, but my brain now wanders off much more quickly and can have more rest, which is always great.

 

Amazing progress indeed. I was wondering what has happened to you. My brain cannot adapt. Well, it can to a lower volume. I have some better days/maybe week, when the loudness goes down. But whenever it is back up, like this weekend, it just can't.

So 10 months later, I am still in hell, and closer to ending it than ever. Good luck to you.

 

@berdichevskyivan has done well, no doubt about it. However, do realise he has a pretty stable monotonal tinnitus which many would classify as a mild case.

Mild cases usually habituate within 6-12 months which appears to have occurred here.

 

I am 6 weeks into a spike caused from my daughter screaming into my ear. Nothing is masking it. On Saturday I thought that it was calming down and almost, almost had hope that it was getting better. I even started to pay attention to the sports on TV but then on Sunday it was out of control and continues into today.

Is there any hope this will go back to my crap baseline?

 

I'm hoping that things normalize for you.

 

I wholeheartedly agree. My case is not as bad as a lot of people here, and my brain was able to adapt, not all brains do.

The experience I had was enough to feel empathy for everyone having this condition to any degree, and definitely much more for those having extreme cases. I know it's pure hell.

Brother I feel you more than you can imagine. It's a day-by-day, hour-by-hour game... Especially when you read the cases of people who have taken their lives due to this... I know 10 months seems like a lot of time suffering like a dog, but in scientific terms (outside the pain and suffering), you can STILL have your brain adapt to it in more months than that.

Most probably, it WILL adapt, it will just take longer. By forcing ourselves to live, even if we want to kill ourselves, the brain surprisingly adapts. But you're ONLY going to see this, if you make it.

Now my motivation was also negative, to not kill myself, because I believe in a kind of rebirth and I REALLY didn't want to go through life again, because I already found a wife that loves me and have a beautiful daughter that I did NOT want to leave... So they were my purpose in that deep darkness... So I truly feel sorrow for those that have no anchor... But trust me, even INSIDE you, there is an anchor, there's a power that doesn't come within you, but it is within every being in the Multiverse...

Tap into that power...

 

I am in a spike right now too. Praying for you man.

 

Thanks. Like most, I habituated to the first tormentuous level of 5.5/10. But after my daughter's scream it went to 9/10 and has stayed there bouncing around and ruining my life like most people. Just from being a father. FML.

 

Yea man, I feel the same way. Has it gotten any better since it first spiked?

 

Honestly, I thought there were a couple of OK days but it’s just horrendous. Sorry to be negative but I just can’t believe this is happening. I was always good about protecting my ears. No loud places, no headphones. And then my daughter was having a meltdown and yelled. End of story.