My Experience with Loud, Screaming Tinnitus: Struggles, Discoveries, and a Path to Healing

[Francesco]

Hey all,

It has been a long time since I posted here. I have been trying to avoid reading too much about it because I have developed my own perspective on at least my tinnitus. I am also writing this to keep myself accountable and to have something to return to whenever I need a reminder.

I would like to share some experiences and thoughts, and if you are interested, I would love to hear your feedback.

It all started a few years ago. I had a rough weekend with booze and more, then flew to Spain on Monday. The next morning, I woke up with tinnitus. I have been dealing with it ever since. I cannot sleep without blasting a loud awful screeching sound through my speakers, not to mask my tinnitus but to change it into something slightly more bearable. My tinnitus has no fixed position. It shifts, moves, scratches, and morphs in ways I cannot predict.

Some time after it started, I came across a doctor who believed that stress and anxiety were the main causes of tinnitus. He explained that ear hydrops create pressure in the inner ear, leading to the sound, and anxiety reinforces it. He claimed that this was the cause in ninety nine percent of cases. I was highly skeptical, but I followed his therapy anyway. It involved drinking a lot of water, following a specific diet, getting IV diuretics, and taking various medications for anxiety and stress. And then my tinnitus was gone after one month. Can you believe it? I could not. But it was.

The only problem? It came right back as soon as I stopped taking the medication.

Life went on with ups and downs. Like for most people, my tinnitus fluctuated. I moved to another country, had panic attacks, and my anxiety skyrocketed, and guess what? My tinnitus did too. Even though I was struggling, I had three or four episodes where my tinnitus disappeared completely, sometimes for two hours, sometimes for just ten minutes. These moments always happened when I was deeply relaxed, serene, and not overthinking, just like I felt during that therapy except without the medication.

Then I came across a book by Julian Cowan Hill. He had severe chronic tinnitus and managed to heal. In simple terms, he describes the healing process as a journey of self discovery, learning what you enjoy, and taking care of yourself. It might sound obvious, but I now have proof. When I feel at peace, which is rare, my tinnitus dissolves. And I do not mean it just gets quieter, I mean it is completely gone.

Julian argues that the timing of tinnitus onset does not really matter. If you are an anxious, stressed, and overactive person, which I am, then if it had not happened that day, it would have happened some other time. Anything could have been the trigger, like that stressful weekend for me. Sometimes I ask myself, what if it was something I took that physically damaged my ears? But if something was permanently broken, how could my tinnitus completely disappear, even for a short time?

So now I have shifted my focus to getting better, seeing a psychologist, prioritizing well being, and even using some medications.

The conclusion? It is easy to think of tinnitus as the source of all our problems, but that is not necessarily true. Things can change and will change if you take the right actions. Start listening to yourself, stop obsessing over things like money and success, and focus on what truly matters. It is a somatic issue, just like my hands, which are freezing as I type this. Right now, I am using sound to mask my tinnitus because I need it. In the past, I did not. Things will change again.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Theezy]

Hey all,

It has been a long time since I posted here. I have been trying to avoid reading too much about it because I have developed my own perspective on at least my tinnitus. I am also writing this to keep myself accountable and to have something to return to whenever I need a reminder.

I would like to share some experiences and thoughts, and if you are interested, I would love to hear your feedback.

It all started a few years ago. I had a rough weekend with booze and more, then flew to Spain on Monday. The next morning, I woke up with tinnitus. I have been dealing with it ever since. I cannot sleep without blasting a loud awful screeching sound through my speakers, not to mask my tinnitus but to change it into something slightly more bearable. My tinnitus has no fixed position. It shifts, moves, scratches, and morphs in ways I cannot predict.

Some time after it started, I came across a doctor who believed that stress and anxiety were the main causes of tinnitus. He explained that ear hydrops create pressure in the inner ear, leading to the sound, and anxiety reinforces it. He claimed that this was the cause in ninety nine percent of cases. I was highly skeptical, but I followed his therapy anyway. It involved drinking a lot of water, following a specific diet, getting IV diuretics, and taking various medications for anxiety and stress. And then my tinnitus was gone after one month. Can you believe it? I could not. But it was.

The only problem? It came right back as soon as I stopped taking the medication.

Life went on with ups and downs. Like for most people, my tinnitus fluctuated. I moved to another country, had panic attacks, and my anxiety skyrocketed, and guess what? My tinnitus did too. Even though I was struggling, I had three or four episodes where my tinnitus disappeared completely, sometimes for two hours, sometimes for just ten minutes. These moments always happened when I was deeply relaxed, serene, and not overthinking, just like I felt during that therapy except without the medication.

Then I came across a book by Julian Cowan Hill. He had severe chronic tinnitus and managed to heal. In simple terms, he describes the healing process as a journey of self discovery, learning what you enjoy, and taking care of yourself. It might sound obvious, but I now have proof. When I feel at peace, which is rare, my tinnitus dissolves. And I do not mean it just gets quieter, I mean it is completely gone.

Julian argues that the timing of tinnitus onset does not really matter. If you are an anxious, stressed, and overactive person, which I am, then if it had not happened that day, it would have happened some other time. Anything could have been the trigger, like that stressful weekend for me. Sometimes I ask myself, what if it was something I took that physically damaged my ears? But if something was permanently broken, how could my tinnitus completely disappear, even for a short time?

So now I have shifted my focus to getting better, seeing a psychologist, prioritizing well being, and even using some medications.

The conclusion? It is easy to think of tinnitus as the source of all our problems, but that is not necessarily true. Things can change and will change if you take the right actions. Start listening to yourself, stop obsessing over things like money and success, and focus on what truly matters. It is a somatic issue, just like my hands, which are freezing as I type this. Right now, I am using sound to mask my tinnitus because I need it. In the past, I did not. Things will change again.

Thanks for reading.

Glad to hear you've found some peace with your symptoms! I hope you continue to improve.

I've also had a long and challenging journey with this and am currently reading a book by Kevin Hogan, which shares some similar principles. I think I'll pick up Julian's next.

Are there any regular or daily practices you've found most helpful? Also, I completely understand if you don't want to mention the specific medication, but I'm curious about that as well. I've been reluctant to try any psychotropic meds myself.

Wishing you all the best!

 

[Francesco]

An update: I have noticed that when I feel better, for example when I have company, my tinnitus improves after a shower. Sometimes I can go all day without using earpods. It also sometimes gets better in the evening.

 

[SueX]

It's really good to read that things are going well.

 

[Sonic17]

Hey all,

It has been a long time since I posted here. I have been trying to avoid reading too much about it because I have developed my own perspective on at least my tinnitus. I am also writing this to keep myself accountable and to have something to return to whenever I need a reminder.

I would like to share some experiences and thoughts, and if you are interested, I would love to hear your feedback.

It all started a few years ago. I had a rough weekend with booze and more, then flew to Spain on Monday. The next morning, I woke up with tinnitus. I have been dealing with it ever since. I cannot sleep without blasting a loud awful screeching sound through my speakers, not to mask my tinnitus but to change it into something slightly more bearable. My tinnitus has no fixed position. It shifts, moves, scratches, and morphs in ways I cannot predict.

Some time after it started, I came across a doctor who believed that stress and anxiety were the main causes of tinnitus. He explained that ear hydrops create pressure in the inner ear, leading to the sound, and anxiety reinforces it. He claimed that this was the cause in ninety nine percent of cases. I was highly skeptical, but I followed his therapy anyway. It involved drinking a lot of water, following a specific diet, getting IV diuretics, and taking various medications for anxiety and stress. And then my tinnitus was gone after one month. Can you believe it? I could not. But it was.

The only problem? It came right back as soon as I stopped taking the medication.

Life went on with ups and downs. Like for most people, my tinnitus fluctuated. I moved to another country, had panic attacks, and my anxiety skyrocketed, and guess what? My tinnitus did too. Even though I was struggling, I had three or four episodes where my tinnitus disappeared completely, sometimes for two hours, sometimes for just ten minutes. These moments always happened when I was deeply relaxed, serene, and not overthinking, just like I felt during that therapy except without the medication.

Then I came across a book by Julian Cowan Hill. He had severe chronic tinnitus and managed to heal. In simple terms, he describes the healing process as a journey of self discovery, learning what you enjoy, and taking care of yourself. It might sound obvious, but I now have proof. When I feel at peace, which is rare, my tinnitus dissolves. And I do not mean it just gets quieter, I mean it is completely gone.

Julian argues that the timing of tinnitus onset does not really matter. If you are an anxious, stressed, and overactive person, which I am, then if it had not happened that day, it would have happened some other time. Anything could have been the trigger, like that stressful weekend for me. Sometimes I ask myself, what if it was something I took that physically damaged my ears? But if something was permanently broken, how could my tinnitus completely disappear, even for a short time?

So now I have shifted my focus to getting better, seeing a psychologist, prioritizing well being, and even using some medications.

The conclusion? It is easy to think of tinnitus as the source of all our problems, but that is not necessarily true. Things can change and will change if you take the right actions. Start listening to yourself, stop obsessing over things like money and success, and focus on what truly matters. It is a somatic issue, just like my hands, which are freezing as I type this. Right now, I am using sound to mask my tinnitus because I need it. In the past, I did not. Things will change again.

Thanks for reading.

It is very inspiring to read this. It looks like a book I need to read (Julian Cowan Hill).

It has now been eight years since I started my life with tinnitus, and I can relate to your post very well.

I have not been able to sleep without medication for those eight years. That has been my biggest struggle with tinnitus, along with living with the side effects of the medication.

I constantly feel like others may judge me as an addict or see me as somehow inferior to the person I used to be simply because I have tinnitus and take medication. I know I need to stop this way of thinking, as it only adds to my anxiety.

 

[Francesco]

It is very inspiring to read this. It looks like a book I need to read (Julian Cowan Hill).

It has now been eight years since I started my life with tinnitus, and I can relate to your post very well.

I have not been able to sleep without medication for those eight years. That has been my biggest struggle with tinnitus, along with living with the side effects of the medication.

I constantly feel like others may judge me as an addict or see me as somehow inferior to the person I used to be simply because I have tinnitus and take medication. I know I need to stop this way of thinking, as it only adds to my anxiety.

We are in the same boat—seven or eight years in, over here. If you need medication, take it. What's the problem? Many people take it but simply do not talk about it.

It's strange. I had a couple of days where it was almost silent. Then the next day, I had an anxiety attack, and the day after that, I felt extremely nervous.

Sometimes I don't know if it's the tinnitus that makes me feel nervous, sad, or anxious, or if I just feel that way on my own.

 

[Sonic17]

Yes, good advice.

Aww, to hear silence. How lovely for you.

As for me, my tinnitus does not really bother me in daily life, but it affects my ability to sleep. If I could learn to sleep with it without relying on medication, I would feel like my normal self again.

I have had anxiety all my life. I used it to excel in university, sports, and other areas. I even kind of liked it. But this insomnia… it is exhausting.

 

[Francesco]

Some months have passed, so here is an update.

Exactly two months ago, I decided to stop using my AirPods to mask my tinnitus. At first, it was absolutely horrendous.

I talked to Julian, and I am fully committed to doing whatever it takes to move past this.

I have been going to craniosacral therapy sessions once a week, and sometimes even twice. These sessions often make me fall asleep, and a few times, upon waking up, my tinnitus was much calmer, dropping from an 8 to maybe a 3 or 4.

I also do yoga a few times a week. This is essential because even when tinnitus is through the roof, you must focus during the session. The results can vary, but it helps.

On my own, I have been self-soothing with breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, long hot and cold showers... anything that helps. These techniques make time pass more easily, and most importantly, they make me feel much better afterward. The tinnitus is still there, but I am in a better place, more relaxed, and able to get things done. I think this is the most essential part: what you do on your own.

I have learned to understand that:

• Some days are awful.
• There is nothing more important than the present moment; what you do now is what matters for the future.
• Every single thing you do is a step forward, even if it does not feel like it.
• Work can wait if you do not feel like working.
• You need company for now; being alone makes you (or at least me) much more nervous.
• Spending time alone at a bar, doing nothing, is good because your nervous system is resting.
• Your nervous system is overly sensitive, so find what makes it calm.

I feel like I have changed a lot. I no longer care about money or what I wear. I have a much less competitive soul now. It feels like I am finally listening to my body, which tells me what is good or bad.

I keep a diary that I update daily. I am starting to have many more days when tinnitus is fully bearable. Some days are still awful, but I take it easy, even though it is incredibly hard, and spend the day doing the things I mentioned before. I can afford not to work when I feel bad. When I feel bad, it is not because of the tinnitus itself, but because my nervous system is acting up.

I am writing this from a club in a beautiful park, without AirPods. Two months ago, this would have been just a dream. I came here this morning to simply rest and listen to the crickets. I do not know what tomorrow will be like.

I have noticed that the health of my nervous system is perfectly reflected in my HRV. If you have a Garmin watch, check it. You can cross-reference it with your diary.

I would not listen too much to people talking about habituation. How can I get used to something so horrific? What I did not understand before (and this is key) is that habituation also means the tinnitus quiets down a lot. You get used to a tinnitus that is much lower, more stable, and bearable compared to what you had in the beginning.

All in all, things are moving toward habituation. It is going to take time, but I hope that in a few more months, I will be in a much better place.