My First 1/10 Day! I Can Live with This!

Fairly new onset of tinnitus here, but today has been the first good day since my ears started ringing in October...

Yesterday, I tried to get on with my life.

I saw a psychiatrist to talk about my issues in life and agreeing to try CBT.

I tried a new supplement (something choline?) but I don't think that was it.

What I really did was try to accept it. I joined Tinnitus Talk (well technically I did that the day before). I didn't skip my singing group rehearsal (though I wanted to). I told people what I was going through and how it made me feel. More importantly, I talked to myself about what this meant, and how it isn't the end of the world, and that there are actually some positives (it made me much more empathetic, and reset my perspective on issues in life to realize just how truly wonderful and blessed my life is. All those things I thought were problems were truly nothing. And I visualized myself saying these things to people, and really believing it).

I also had a huge slice of cake (from this amazing California bakery chain called SusieCakes) right before bed, so I guess I can rule out my T being exacerbated by sugar!

Then I showered and went to bed and realized I wasn't hearing T! My heart jumped into my throat. I listened for it with dread. When I focused, I could hear something...more of a hissing than the "eeeeee" ringing that had been with me nonstop before then. Like the same sound, but turned way down, like whatever was generating it had gotten its ass kicked!

I almost didn't want to sleep for fear of waking up with T blaring again. So I stayed awake for a good hour, enjoying the near-silence.

I woke up in the morning with a slight ringing, but didn't dwell on it. I told myself I've heard the silence before, this is definitely in my head, I can beat this and the silence was proof! I latched on to that positive thought and never let go. A few minutes later, the T was gone again. I heard silence and had never in my life cherished it more.

I went about my morning routine, tentative in everything, worried the slightest wrong move would send it roaring back. But it didn't. In the car, I put on the radio and heard music without a high pitched "eeee" haunting it in the background. That's the moment when I just broke down and started sobbing.

It's not fully gone as I sit here in the office typing. It does seem quieter, and sometimes gone, but I can still hear a shadow of it, especially if I listen for it. I'd say it's a 1/10. But now it doesn't bother me.

Is it going away? Am I habituating? Is it a bit of both? I don't know. I don't care. Either one works for me. I now know I have beaten it before and I will beat it again. It's on the way out. I will win.

Perhaps everyone wasn't full of crap when they said that yes, it can go away for early onset!

 

Well, congratulations, @JohnK! Your success could be due to many things (you did so many things right!). Of course, it always seemed pretty possible to me it would be short-term, given your onset wasn't long ago.

But what I think might have done it? Acceptance, which also is a key concept in CBT. We must accept what we can't control, even when its really bad shit. Bad shit comes for all of us.

Oh, and I bet the cake didn't hurt either!

PS: Now, my only bit of advice? Stop monitoring it. Just go on about your business and your life. Tinnitus feeds on you paying attention to it.
And: protect those ears! Ear plugs for you!

 

great job. Happy for you!

 

Well it's back to 4/10 now. Arrgh.

It is at once discouraging to feel like I'm right back where I started, but encouraging to know it can get better.

And God willing it will again!

 

No Worries John, keep positive. Some days bad some days good, never think about it. Try to avoid smoke, alcohol, sleep well with another noise sounds, etc it works on me so far. Gladly I only notice T when I'm at very quite room and when I'm lying next to my bed.

 

One thing I have learnt since my t onset nearly 2 years ago is this:

measure your success by your responses, not your t.

this is what mindfulness/cbt will teach you.

in doing this, you will eventually push the sound away from the emotional part of your brain into the cognitive/intellectual part of the brain (as it was explained to me)

It works, but requires persistence. I think you are referring to phosphatidylcholine. my integrative dr wants to administer this to me iv as she has had some success using this supplement in other neurodegenerative disorders ie Motor neuron disease and MS.

Its early days for you.

best thing to do is focus on your reactions only. (I know...easier said than done...)

 

.Well I'm pleased for you best wishes.

 

Hi @JohnK -- the path to habituation isn't a linear one, there will be fits and starts. But take your good day into mind as you move forward and you'll find that you'll have more and more days like that. Best wishes and congrats!

 

It seems to go down for me every weekend. I think its because I'm so busy on the weekends that I don't have time to think about it..

It does get better and it is encouraging that you almost didn't hear it for a while there.. Hang in there John.

 

Thanks so much @JohnMeyers and @marqualler for your kind words. I tend to be a pretty emotionally up-and-down person so these down swings hurt and I need all the encouragement I can get.

 

My Tinnitus fluctuates a lot too and I thought it was gone the first time it dropped to a 1 also. If we have a guide for newbies section it should mention this, don't declare your tinnitus gone. I think everyone with fluctuating tinnitus goes through this unfortunate letdown.

 

This is a good idea. Yesterday my T was so loud I was almost on the verge of panic yet again several times throughout the day, but you know what? I DIDN'T panic. I made my family a pot roast, I did arts and crafts with my children (2 and 5), I spent some quiet time hanging out with my oldest daughter reading, we put up our Christmas tree and decorated the house, I did some laundry and cleaning, enjoyed dinner with my family and then watched a little bit of tv (what makes my t react) with my partner before going to bed. Was it a hard day noise wise? Yes, it was. My T was driving me crazy BUT today so far its MUCH better and I have great memories from yesterday's fun activies that were managed despite the annoying sound. I was super frustrated yesterday for a lot of the day but I spent some time doing my meditation and got my act together for my kids and thats something

 

How have you been lately? I haven't seen you post. My T is the same. One day the improvement is HUGE and I hardly notice it, in fact I have to listen for it to hear it. Other days its very loud and intrusive and my panic threatens to explode but I don't let it.. Because I know, tomorrow may be another good day and even if its followed by a bad day the good days are so much better. It is frustrating though dealing with the fluctuations because you never know what you'll experience as the day goes on.. But from what I've been told its hopeful that us newbies are having good days already, so new into this game so I'm taking that as a positive step. I hope you're well friend.

 

Well the T is still fairly consistent at this point, hovering between 3 and 4. I'm hoping to get in on the AM-101 trial because I don't have much to lose and any reduction would be wonderful.

I'm less psychologically devastated than I was before, but still filled with sadness and anger about it all...hopefully that too will get better.

 

I'm here with you a 3/4 or maybe a 5 some days. Except for the few days I mentioned as being super quiet! This evening is exceptionally irritating to me with my T being super reactive and the panic is threatening to explode again. I feel how you do also, usually I can control the panic feelings/anxiety but I'm really frustrated and sad I have to deal with this too :,( . I hope you can get In on the am 101 . It's not an option for me being pregnant. In fact most of the normal treatments aren't options for me. My OB didn't even know if lipoflavinoid was safe during pregnancy so :/ I haven't done anything..

 

Hang in there Natalie! We'll get through (or at least used to) this

 

Hi natalie. Lypoflavanoid is mostly vitamins.

 

I was thinking it was. I take a prenatal anyway which is a combo of lots of key vitamins. Im going to take my supplements including lipoflavonid to the specalist thursday and ask if I can add them to my prenatals.

 

I'm stopping by SusieCakes on the way home, if this is cure, I will have one more reason to go there. AMAZING place in CA if anyone can go!

 

I love SusieCakes. Especially red velvet.

I'm doing my best to get into the AM-101 trial now. Fingers crossed...

 

I don't recommend that, if you're serious about reducing your T.

 

Might be better to not have electrical audio going in such a small space/enviroment ..like the cabin of an automobile.

 

What don't you recommend....the tv part or the partner ?

 

LOL.. I usually don't turn the TV on at all, all day until the evening a few hours before bed and its because my boyfriend enjoys it, not so much that I do. I like to spend time with him and so we hang out on the couch. He does keep the volume pretty low and if it bothers me he turns it lower.. I would hate to have to give up this time together as I really enjoy it and would feel lonely and isolated being alone in my room while my family watches a fun movie or something.