My First and Last Post. I Am Sorry.

The last post I shall ever write.

I am sorry.

I am not strong enough to live the rest of my days in complete agony. This is not a mental health issue. This is tinnitus. Chronic untreatable tinnitus. Constant loud ringing in my ears. I am not weak but I am not strong enough to live like this. I am in agony every second of every day. There is no respite. I have to take strong sleeping tablets every day and now even these don’t help. I don’t actually sleep. I get knocked out by tablets and awake to the loud ringing once the tablets wear off.

My life was meant to be like this. I have two smashing kids, from an adoring wife. Both of which do not deserve to have to put up with me going downhill and angry and miserable for the rest of my time. It is not fair. This very selfish I know. My kids may never forgive me. But pleas try to understand. I am in constant agony. I CANNOT allow my kids to be kids. They have to be silent around me. Not I am often around them. I spend a lot time in isolation and whilst this does not offer and restbite for me, it does allow my children to be children. I cannot let my be be my wife. Everything is being destroyed by this incurable and dibilatating Condition.

My hope and dream that my wife and children find the true happiness they deserve. One day I pray they forgive me. But I am so sorry. To you all. I love you but have forgotten what that feels like. I I feel is numb. The pain and loudness is just too much.

 

Before you do anything I strongly recommend looking at the treatment and research news section of the site

 

I was going to say the same.

 

HI @Andrew Thomas

You are clearly in a lot of distress with tinnitus and I am sorry to know the agony that you are going through. I see that you have had it since 1984? Would I be right in saying the tinnitus wasn't always this debilitating? If I am correct would you mind saying how long it has been this severe?

You haven't said what part of the world you live? Try getting a referral to ENT and see whether a doctor will prescribe clonazepam. It is a benzodiazepine but can help reduce the tinnitus for some people. I am not suggesting to take this medication long term. However, when tinnitus is very severe as in your case, it can give some relief even if its for a short while. Hopefully ENT will be able to find a treatment/therapy to help so you can stop the clonazepam. I found it very helpful and only took it when the tinnitus was very severe. I now take it 1 or 2 days a month and then stop.

You are in a desperate situation and I believe this calls for desperate measures and to pull out all the stops and pursue every avenue. Although it says on your Avatar cause of tinnitus unknown? Something usually causes it. If it wasn't always this severe since 1984? I am wondering whether the original cause of the tinnitus was noise induced or resulting from an underlying medical condition within your auditory system?

Please think about my suggestions and pursue every avenue possible. Talk to your doctor and try and get a referral to ENT.

Take care and hope you start to feel better soon.

Michael

 

Did you participate in Lenire yet? It's available out there, and if this feels like the end anyway, then there is no harm in trying.