My friend amazed me today...

Discussion in 'Support' started by Kathi, Jun 28, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      I was having lunch with a friend who also has T. I thought it must be mild but she told me that it's loud and she hears it whenever she thinks about it. She said she could hear it at that moment because we were talking about it. I hope to get to where she is. I've known her for 10 years and never knew she had T until I had my onset and she told me.

      We both work in very quiet offices so I asked her how she dealt with it. She said it never bothers her and if she does happen to hear it she just refocuses on what she's doing and she no longer hears it! She also eats whatever she likes, drinks red wine and takes Karate-- and is in her 60's!

      That's why I'm amazed. I do forget about mine for periods of time but they are short periods. I also can put it in the background and just carry on but I doubt I'll ever get to the point where I don't hear it.

      She's had it since 1998...so maybe I'll get there in 16 years. :)
       
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    2. Ken219
      No Mood

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      @Kathi You are getting there. 'I do forget about mine for periods of time '
       
    3. LadyDi
      Busy

      LadyDi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barotrauma/airplane
      You will be there sooner than you think, Kathi, I am sure. Isn't amazing to talk to people you have known awhile...and discover you never knew they had T? Has happened to me several times. Gives me hope for a normal life.
       
    4. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      Thanks @Ken219 but they are very short periods of time--when I'm busy or engrossed in something. I am encouraged though that I am habituating because hearing it doesn't stop me from living. Like today--going to a graduation party. It's outside so that's a plus.

      How are you coming along?
       
    5. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress

      Thanks for the encouragement LadyDi! I have found five others at work who have T--but none of them freaked out like I did--they just habituated and went on with life--this is why I don't think I'll ever get to the same point as my friend.
       
    6. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      I have a family friend who told me the same thing, that she has loud T and it doesn't bother her. How loud? Well, she said at times she couldn't hear what people were saying to her due to the loud ringing. Go figure. She even joked that once she could even hear the fire siren of the fire truck coming to her apartment block due to a false fire alarm. That is loud ringing for sure. But for some mysterious reason, this lady being known for her fiery temper, she just chose not to fight this ringing with negativity. She told me she would get used to it given enough time. And that was it. No mental collapse like me. She is socially quite active even as a senior now. So T has no negative effect on her life. Her example brings home the point Dr. Nagler was trying to convey in his 'Letter to a tinnitus suffer', that our reaction decides the intrusiveness of T. This triggers my decision to accept T as a reality of life and yet take a positive approach to living with it without all the negative reactions. There is much to life besides T. Don't give up on life because of it.
       
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    7. Jay M
      Thinking

      Jay M Member

      Location:
      South Carolina, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      4/4/14
      Keyword statement: "...she hears it whenever she thinks about it. She said she could hear it at that moment because we were talking about it."

      As extremely helpful this site has been, maybe it's wise to limit reading up on T once you understand the fundamentals of living with it?
       
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    8. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress

      I think you are right @JayM. I've been thinking about taking a break from this board but it is so hard to do. @cullenbohannon says that I will be surprised at how much less I think about my T if I take a break. It's just very hard to do as I feel so supported here. I wouldn't be this far along at almost 8 months if I hadn't found this site. It's sad to think about leaving. :(
       
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    9. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      Hi Kathi,
      I stayed away from TT for a week. It does not change my T or my perception. Maybe I need staying away longer.
      But since it is very loud (like for most of us), I think about my T every second.
      This board here gives me much comfort and better for me talking here than talking about T with my wife, friends etc.
      As you I don't know where I would be without this board.
      And I think we will get used to it, also by staying here.
      I am sure the better you cope, the less you will visit here.
       
    10. alifalijohn

      alifalijohn Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/14
      Like your post,,very comforting!
       
    11. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      I've been on this board for two years now, and have not taken a break from it. I feel that I am very gradually habituating, and that Tinnitus Talk has helped me. Also, I find it very therapeutic to try to help other new people on the board. For me, it has been a godsend!
       
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    12. alifalijohn

      alifalijohn Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/14
      Stay intouch , we love you ! you are very comforting!!
       
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    13. Tenna
      Anime

      Tenna Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      It's nice finding others with t so easily in here, the thing is just the likes of your friend you are the ones you Really need to talk to, those who don't notice they have it are quite hard to find as they obviously don't bring it up.
      I know my psychologist has t too, and he was considering going to a Rolling Stones concert, not considering because of t, but because of how many would go. A mid twenties audiologist I met she was half deaf on both ears with different tinnitus sounds, she still goes to a lot of concerts (with earplugs ofc). Yesterday I was at a wedding and the husband's father wore some kind of hearing aids (basically a little wire going from behind his ears into them, it was incredibly subtle) anyway he just had a good time, without any earplugs? and seemingly without worries. Another guy I've been acquired t after a gunshot next to his head, yet once a year he goes to a big music festival (with earplugs yes) and he doesnt give a damn. I've been told many has t, but for the most part of those I've met irl it's those above mentioned :)
      And our reaction about it is just going nuts hah, its insane. Anyhow great having both tt and these people irl to meet and learn from
       
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    14. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      You could always try leaving and see how you feel. You can come back if you feel like you need support. And you could have a break for like, a day or a week and then come back - like building up to not coming on the site at all.

      I know what you mean: I don't what I would have done without TT. I think I would have gone insane. It's nice to know that other people feel the same, and genuinely want to help. I don't think I could quit this site just yet.
       
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    15. leelo
      Pacman

      leelo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      5/2014
      You will get there before 16 years :)
       
    16. LondonGirl

      LondonGirl Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      @billie48, @Kathi I have garnered so much strength and inspiration to go on and not give up on TT, but your posts have been particularly sustaining at difficult times and I just wanted to thank you both especially x
       
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    17. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Since I have T, like Tenna, I became aware of many people around me with T and living a full life. The specialist doctor who prescribed me SSRI told me he had T since 12. Yet he went through meds school and becomes a doctor. A church friend who has terminal cancer told me he has T too. But the vigorous cancer treatments took over the priority of his life and the T became faded out by the brain. The janitor couple of our office told me they had T for years and years. At first they were alarmed and had to see the doctors. But as time went on, they both habituated. They told me they are ok now but they still run a sound machine at bed side. However, no negative reaction. Life goes on. My colleague's wife had T so bad that she had to put up loud country music in her bedroom. My colleague told me jokingly that he couldn't stand the all night music that he has to sleep in different room for years. Yet she manage to live a normal life and raise her kids to adult now. So life goes on. My own honey now has T too. She doesn't react negatively like me. About an hour ago, she told me 'the ringing is very loud today', yet she just goes about her days without all the negative emotions. Gosh! Some people just happen to have different DNA. LOL.

      But I learn from all these folks' example. The different between me back then and them is that this - this think they can get used to T in time whereas I thought no way in hell I can accept such a ringing. Mine louder than theirs? Perhaps. But I am not too sure of that. I have the same loud ringing now. But I don't give a dime to it now. Just like them. And I don't suffer any more like them. Perhaps it was how I reacted to T which decides how intrusive my T was. It is getting more and more obvious.
       
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    18. Tenna
      Anime

      Tenna Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Always great posts from you @billie48. It's exactly the stories of these people who've gotten out on the other side which all of us need to be reminded of. With habituation you don't notice tinnitus, you don't see it as a problem, so why would one mention it. At its greatest it becomes a 'silent' disorder, and I think it's great with a thread to remind us of that - infact maybe we could make a thread specifically dedicated to the point of a "my friend's tinnitus amazed me", where we could collect all of these reminders of the people with "silent t", emphasizing there is a great world out there of habituaters
       
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    19. Cher69
      Fine

      Cher69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      York, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      20/5/2013
      My T is currently well annoying - Ive got really odd numb fullness sensation and a buzzzzzz thats there all the time - previously my T was a high pitch tone but now a low pitch buzzzz - BUT - although nore constant and intrusive then ever I still feel stronger that IT !!

      To habituate to a noise you learn to accept it not let it rule you when the noise changes it challenges you can you overcome this - Yes - remember the coping things that have helped T wont rule your life mine is challenging me I currently going through the stages of learning to adjust and cope with the level of noise x
       

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