My Life Now and My Story

I was about 8 or 9 years old and I had a horrible ear infection, mostly in my left ear. Tinnitus, blocked ears, stabbing pains. It went on for over a month maybe more. I had antibiotics from the doctor. When it had finally cleared up the T just never left. So my mum took me to the doctors and it took them until I was in year 8 to get me a referal to hearing specialists. Once I finally did after being messed around and ignored for years they did some tests and told me I had a hearing loss in the inner ear basically its incurable. Then I went to see another doctor who offered me a test to see where it came from (this was from the hospital that had ignored my problem for years). It made me so uncomfortable when he said 'when your older and you feel you found the right man and you want to have children...' I was 13 years old that was the last thing on my mind. All I wanted to hear was that there was cure, for my hearing loss and for my T. But the specialist doctor I went to see quite plainly and insenstivley put as "you've got a hearing loss, its very unlikely that you'll ever cure it. You just have to learn to live with it. You should get hearing Aids that will help."
I understand the Doctor was not trying to be cruel, but when a 13 year old hears that it strikes a cord. I cried. It was one of the last times that I'd ever cried that year. After hearing something like that its hard for anything else anyone says to affect you again. After a lot of misunderstandings and meetings that made me uncomfortable, I switched hospitals. To be honest I couldn't stand that they were telling me how it could affect me in social situations. I used to be shy and was often made fun of in primary school. But I becamee xtemely sociable once I'd reached year 8. Things have been fine at the new hospital I visist about twice a year sometimes more. I had my last appointment on Thursday and they are concerned that because I dropped a fair bit in my audiology test something could be going on I hope and I'm sure it's just an off day I had a cold. But they told me it was not to do with congestion. I'm not stressing about it, it only makes it worse.

My T and hearing loss didn't affect my social life or my education sure it nake s things sometimes more difficult but, to me it makes my successes more rewarding. I'm happy and I continue to do what I love and try my best to do well at school which in something's is paying off. I have refused to let this affect my life hugely. Its made me strong and more aware. It hasn't stopped me doing things and I'm more confident than I was when I was younger. I've had some horribly tough times with my T and hearing loss,but I won't give up or give in. 'tinnitus is not a war its battle'

I'm 15 now doing GCSEs. I want to help other people who are going through a tough time with T or a hearing loss. I'm lucky that I know how to cope and have been living life as best I can.