My Story Revisited: I'm Convinced I Never Had Acoustic Trauma, After All

Discussion in 'Support' started by Blodorn, Aug 17, 2019.

    1. Blodorn

      Blodorn Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:

      I need to write my thoughts guys. It's nice therapy!
      Thank you for reading me! And sorry for my English. Did my best to not make too much mistakes. I don't write enough in English! But it is a good training haha!

      My original story:

      So long story short, my tinnitus appeared after a train noise hurt my ears. At least that's what I thought!

      Firstly, I decided to find the noise I was exposed to, I found it:

      R-11 Hissing Sound

      This noise scared me so much. It occurred only once for 1 second. How the hell could this noise have damaged my ears? When I read about acoustic trauma stories, like gunshot close to the ear, or crazy loud concert, mine seemed ridiculous. 1 second exposure of this hissing sound at 5 meter from me? Dangerous? Even a dog bark is louder, seriously.

      Yes it hurt, because I was hypersensitive to any external sound, I was afraid of being
      schizophrenic and hearing hallucinations so I was listening to all kinds of sound at that moment. (Don't judge me, If you knew how pathetic I was 2 months ago mentally, I laugh when I think about it.) I could have heard a fly 20 meters from me haha. I was in an extreme state of anxiety because of my hypochondria, I was shaking, hypervigilant, My vision was reactive to any movement, my ears reactive to any voices, any sound. All my senses were at 200%.

      So I was sitting at the train platform, and this noise came about. My ears reacted and I freaked out at the same time.

      The tinnitus appeared 5 hours after the noise. When I learned that acoustic trauma was the main reason for one acquiring tinnitus, I thought that was the cause of my tinnitus, as well.

      I think I was wrong.

      Here are some facts I have noticed since June 3rd that makes me think I never had any acoustic trauma:

      -The noise came from my left, 5 meters from me. Tinnitus first appeared in my right ear only. It became bilateral and also appeared in my head when I discovered this forum.

      Absolutely no post pseudo-trauma symptoms except for the ringing in my right ear. (No fullness, no pain, no hearing loss, NOTHING. My ears were asymptomatic except the tinnitus). Symptoms appeared with hyperacusis.

      I got hyperacusis when I read about it. Never had it before I found this forum. Probably psychological, thanks to my hypochondria. It left me when my girlfriend told me it was in my head, well, it was!

      -But my hyperacusis comes back when I hear a sudden loud noise (last one was my friend who yelled out of nowhere, stress/anxiety spike ==> psychological hyperacusis, which disappeared the next day.)

      -Never had any noise related tinnitus spike, NEVER. My tinnitus does whatever it want, when it wants. Each time I hear a loud noise since my tinnitus appeared (louder than the train noise) it only causes me anxiety because of the fear of getting a spike. Never got a tinnitus spike, only psychological hyperacusis.

      -My tinnitus has gotten worse when I discovered this forum. Not your fault haha. My unilateral tinnitus has become bilateral, in my head, new tones, hyperacusis, distortions. All of these appeared when I found this forum. I highly think you can psychologically worsen your tinnitus when you read horror stories AND you are mentally weak.

      -I smoke 20+ cigarettes a day, drink 5+ cups of coffee a day, a lot of soda, I have anxiety sometimes. Sometimes I don't sleep for 24+hours. Nothing spikes my tinnitus.

      -I continued using headphones for one month after the onset. I was ignorant about the danger of headphones. Never used them loud anyway. And I didn't use them for music, I don't like music. Nothing happened. I will not try my luck however.

      -No 0-8 kHz hearing loss.

      -Never went to a concert or club in my whole life.

      -Since my mental state is getting better, so is my tinnitus!

      Here are the facts that makes me think it could be TMJ related (but not only!):

      -I suffer from a mild dysphagia (trouble swallowing and chewing) since May. Tinnitus appeared 03/06.

      - I hear a click in my right ear when I push my jaw forward. Sometimes I hear the clicks when I speak. I have had these symptoms since the onset.

      -I can modulate the tinnitus with my jaw and my neck. It is my only way to influence the tinnitus.

      So yeah, I'm convinced I never had any acoustic trauma. I think EXTREME anxiety and mental illness can trigger tinnitus. Believe me, I was a mess.

      Now I feel better. I'm mentally stronger. Tinnitus cured me from my hypochondria because when you have tinnitus, you don't care of everything else haha. It cured my phagophobia (afraid of swallowing/choking), because, again, when you have tinnitus, you don't care of anything going bad, you live your life fully.

      So in a way, tinnitus was a blessing in my life.
      And now that I'm healthier, and I can think clearly about what caused my tinnitus, I know it is unlikely that the train noise caused it in the first place.

      Take care everyone :)
      • Like Like x 1
    2. JohnAdams

      JohnAdams Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 1st 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Aspirin Toxicity/Possibly Noise
      I'm also starting to think that loud noise had much less to do with my situation than my use of NSAIDs.
      • Like Like x 1
    3. linearb

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      beliefs are makyo and reality ignores them
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I don't think it actually matters what the cause was in a lot of cases. The network establishes itself, it's there, and it seems to usually have some common circuitry
      • Agree Agree x 2

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