My Tinnitus Is Getting Worse — I Can't Function — How Do You Cope? Will the Anxiety Ever Fade?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Pabl692, Dec 6, 2018.

    1. Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      So, it's getting worse and I still don't know what it is going on with me.

      I went to the GP today, and he wasn't interested in my tinnitus. He just referred me to a mental health team. On Sunday night, I went to A&E having suicidal thoughts. I was/am in absolute meltdown. But that doctor said I needed referring to an audiologist for a hearing test and then perhaps to an ENT specialist.

      My hope was that, they could identify some hearing loss and I could at least get a hearing aid that might just help with this noise. Somehow.

      In the last couple of days I swear it has gotten worse. I think it has gotten worse after messing around with masks on YouTube and trying to find the frequency with frequency generators.

      It's such a high frequency, it sounds like a hiss. I can almost feel it. It seems to shift in my head, does this resonate with anyone? It sounds like electricity, like hissing.

      Watching TV makes it louder. And then the TV isn't loud enough to mask it. So now I can't just relax with the TV. I can now clearly hear it at work, too. Whereas last week, I couldn't. Nothing seems to mask it, because it is so high pitched and it's definitely loud. I would give it a solid 7/10 now.

      I'm just so lost. I don't know which way to turn. I can't function. The thought of this forever is terrifying.

      How have you people coped so long? Does the anxiety ever fade? Can I refer myself to an audiologist, or do I need my GP to do it?

      Would an hearing aid help me? To be honest, that was the only bit of hope that I had. I have no issue with wearing hearing aids, I don't care about my appearance. But the GP wouldn't even refer me...

      Sorry for posting again. I know I am looking for reassurance, and for an answer that I won't find, really. I'm only 10 days in though, and I think that if I feel like ending my life already, how can I ever come to terms with it?
       
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    2. JohnAdams
      Studious

      JohnAdams Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      here
      Tinnitus Since:
      it started.
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      hearing loss
      Same. Driving me crazy.
       
    3. Deamon22

      Deamon22 Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Trauma/Cold?
      @Pabl692 Your T sounds very similar like mine was. Mostly i couldn‘t hear it outside of my bedroom but often it was so reactive i could hear it in a plane, car, over tv....a really really nasty electrical sizzling. The good news is that after a few months mine faded completely.

      After my recent cold it came back a bit but not like before.

      Give it time, there is a good chance it will calm down.
       
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    4. ACG
      Fine

      ACG Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not Sure
      Yes, you should definitely get your hearing tested. As for audiologists, you do need a referral for some audiologists but there are others with private practices or who are part of healthy hearing groups who should be able to help you as a walk-in. Depending on where you live you could try getting an appointment at Costco. They sell a brand of hearing aids geared toward musicians and their prices are generally lower than audiology clinics.
       
    5. coffee_girl
      Innocent

      coffee_girl Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      All my life, but got worse 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced / Concert
      I cope with it by telling myself someday I will die and the greatest pleasure is knowing I'm taking it (tinnitus) down with me. It's like that scene in the movie Aliens where she grabbed the monster and they both tumbled out of the plane. This gives me great pleasure :)and makes me very happy.
       
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    6. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Thank you for your post. That gives me some hope, but I've never been that lucky really. Weirdly, it doesn't affect my sleeping so much. It dies down in a quiet room, but obviously I can hear it. But I'm always so shattered anyway, I fall asleep eventually.

      Playing the radio and listening to music masks it better than the TV. Just worried that this will obviously do further damage. I swear mine got worse after listening to some high frequency masks and after messing around trying to determine its frequency on those online apps.

      Can your ears actually heal themselves at all?

      I've suffered from depression, anxiety and OCD for many years. I'd recently just got into a comfortable and relatively happy position. 26, employed, own my own home. Future looking okay. Now this. It's a black cloud following me everywhere. Can't eat, sleep or anything.

      Now I really do struggle to find anything to motivate me to get out of bed in a morning. I've NEVER felt this bad.

      Bless you coffee girl, your courage is incredible. You are a thousand times the person I could ever wish to be. I just wish I could do something to help people like you.
       
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    7. Deamon22

      Deamon22 Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Trauma/Cold?
      @Pabl692 don‘t beat yourself up, i felt like this the first 3-4 months mostly, altough i always described my T as mild. If i was in a quiet room i could always hear the tea kettle whistling and screeching, outside never. But when there were other sounds it got really nasty. The worst was in the airplane, i heard a loud screeching there for 7 hours.

      However after a few months it all started fading away, and after 5 months i would have declared myself nearly T free. No reactivity, no t in quiet places. Of course i catched a cold and it came back like before.

      So give yourself time, do a hearing test, and let your ears rest. If you wanna chat write me a message:)
       
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    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Would you mind? That might be helpful. Just really worried and lost at the moment. And the worst thing is that I can't see how I will ever improve.

      Already to sick to death of living like I have my head around the back of an old TV.
       
    9. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      This IS hilarious, but this is NOT what the poster wants to hear right now...
       
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    10. Deamon22

      Deamon22 Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Trauma/Cold?
      Pretty much everyone on this site felt like you in the beginning i can assure you that. But there is always a good chance that it will improve. You are lucky that you can sleep, that is great. I am sure this reactive tinnitus will improve, just keep away from loud noise for a while:)

      And of course you can send me a private message.
       
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    11. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      This has happened to me too. I had adopted a policy of never listening to any weird tones on the net.
      Yes, they can! See the numerous studies cited on most of the 7 pages of the thread below.
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/spontaneous-recovery-stats-many-recover-3-studies.21441/
      I've had both, and I can assure you that a hiss is preferable (easier to ignore) to a high-pitch tone. One time I was hearing a hiss, but when I put ear muffs on, it sounded like a high-pitch tone. To me, this proves that a hiss is what you perceive when a high-pitch tone gets quieter. The fact that you have a hiss means that you haven't hurt your ears as much as some of the people on this forum.
      You had it for less than a month, so there is still a very good chance that you will get better. Even if the worst thing happens and you don't get to hear silence again, you shouldn't assume that what you are hearing now is what you will be stuck with. It fades for most people. Hopefully yours will begin fading sometime in the next three months. Ears take forever to heal, but it can and does happen.
      Most people feel better after a year compared to how they felt during their first three months.

      I believe that you might find some of the information at the link below to be helpful to you:
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822
       
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    12. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      That's very kind of you, seriously. Perhaps I will write to you at some point tomorrow, as I think it's bedtime for me soon (even just typing that turned my stomach, my bedroom is always SILENT).

      Is it common to find that T can die down late at night? Could this be blood pressure related? I know it drops at night...

      I know I'm asking a thousand questions and grasping at straws when really I should be trying to accept it. Of course I want to live, but it's just so difficult, at the moment, not to be able to a lifetime of abject misery.
       
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    13. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      This happens with me, mostly. When I listen to music, the hiss is masked by the high pitched tone. When things quieten down, the high pitch tone quietens and the hiss returns. Why does this indicate that I have damaged my ears less?

      I'm trying to avoid loud sounds, just not sure what the limit should be.

      Thank you for your very helpful and informative post. I genuinely find it incredible there are people like you who take the time out to write to strangers on the net. It's truly wonderful. I wish you nothing but the best.
       
    14. Deamon22

      Deamon22 Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Trauma/Cold?
      I also tried to tie my tinnitus to everything possible, until at some point i stopped. Mine fluctuates all the time, loudest in the morning, then starts to fade during the day and comes back a bit in the evening. But always a different tone then in the morning.

      Tbh altough my Tinnitus was basically away, now it‘s back like in the beginning, i am way less anxious than a few mobths back. I keep away from loud noise, use earplugs and try to move on since mine is and was always mild.
       
    15. RCP1
      Ape-like

      RCP1 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Dublin, Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      122014

      Dude you're 10 days in. Your mind is on super vigilance mode.... This will fade in time man.... it'll go down by 50% minimum once you calm down. Your perception is t its max!
       
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    16. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      I get that buddy, it's just very hard to believe in my current situation. Just get scared when you read posts about people struggling after years. If I'm like this after 10 days, how will I ever get there? I know you mean well, I promise I'm not questioning you, just a worried soul tonight :)
       
    17. Jack Straw
      Balanced

      Jack Straw Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      1990s
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Infection, Acoustic Trauma
      A lot of good advice in this thread. Your stress about your current situation is making your perception of the tinnitus and fear of the situation 10x worse.

      Once you can allow yourself to calm down a little and not have your nervous system in fight or flight, you will start to relax and feel better.

      The chance of your tinnitus fading is VERY HIGH seeing that you are only a month in. Regardless of if it fades you need to seriously protect your hearing in noisy environments.
       
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    18. dougwarby

      dougwarby Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/18
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      I've had mine for 3 weeks, was superanxious to start but learning to acccept it and hoping it will start to fade down. Keep reassuring yourself you will be ok, notice the times it is easier and hang in, thats what I am doing.
       
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    19. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Trying my best. It's all come as bit of a sucker punch. Hoping for the best for you.
       
    20. butterfly75
      No Mood

      butterfly75 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      I was exactly where you were when I first got tinnitus. I was having such bad panic attacks, I was throwing up. I went to the ER during one of the panic attacks too, and I was considering ending my life as well. The anxiety does fade. It's only been 10 days, don't worry, it'll get so much easier. This is the hardest part to get through. There's a constant noise in your head all of a sudden that you've never heard before, and it feels like an intruder. Your body is on high alert. Eventually, your brain will realize that the noise isn't a threat, and the anxiety will fade, and the tinnitus will get so much easier to deal with!

      A hearing aid would help if you had hearing loss. I went to an ENT, and then the ENT sent me to an audiologist. I've also experienced being able to feel the tinnitus as well. Like this slight vibration sensation. It's really unpleasant.

      The thought of living with tinnitus forever was terrifying to me as well. I know how that feels. Don't think that far ahead. Just try to get through this first month, and then things are going to get a lot easier. Remind yourself "I'm not in any danger. I'm feeling anxious, and very scared right now, but I'm not in any danger. I'm safe." Acknowledge your feelings but remind yourself that you're safe. Avoid loud noises, and bring earplugs when you go out. Watching TV was one of the things I used to try to calm myself down when I first got tinnitus. I'm sorry you're having trouble even relaxing with the TV. Keep trying to watch TV to distract yourself, it's okay if you can hear the tinnitus over it at a low volume. I know hearing it over the sound of the TV makes you want to leap up from the couch and gives you this panicked urge to escape, but don't worry, eventually that feeling will go away. Try listening to ambient noise on Youtube as well, at a safe volume. Distract yourself as much as you can. I hope you feel a lot better.
       
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    21. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      A high pitch tone is a more severe version of a hiss. You don't have a 24/7 high pitch tone. If you don't listen to music, you will have just a hiss. This is the reason why I think you damaged your ears less than someone who gets to listen to a high pitch tone 24/7. By the way, you might want to listen to the signal given to you by your body, and stop listening to music for a while. Sometime between 6 and 24 months after onset, chances are that music will stop having this effect on you. Until then, try to rest your ears and not listen to music (or do anything else that messes with your T).
      If I were you, I would avoid all sounds that feel uncomfortable (either during or afterwards).
      Some people experience quiet mornings and loud evenings, for others it is reversed.
      I've been where you are now (crying uncontrollably multiple times a day), so I am glad I could help the people who are going through something as disturbing as this.
       
      Last edited: Dec 6, 2018
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    22. emmalee
      No Mood

      emmalee Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      hearing loss
      You are very kind, Bill. This forum is fortunate to have you.
       
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    23. Redocooked
      Insomnious

      Redocooked Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Work related Trama/stress
      Mine is high pitched as well.

      The only thing that helps is being distracted and having it go in the background, or listening to this when it's really bad.
      MOST POWERFUL TINNITUS SOUND THERAPY...


      Maybe go to a dentist and have them xray your jaw/teeth to see if you have TMJ.
       
    24. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Last night, I got into bed and it sounded much much quieter than it has been. I could hear it, but I would have given it a 1/2 out of 10.

      I woke up this morning and again, it seemed to have pretty much vanished. Maybe a 1 out of 10. I was feeling a lot better.

      Then I got to work and it just came all at once. I'm at work now and it's a solid 7.

      I went down to the atrium (quite a loud area) and then back to the office and it sounded so loud. Then when I stay in the office a bit (quieter), it does down again. Currently I'd say it's at 3/4. Still irritating though.

      So clearly, mine reacts to the levels of noise around me. Just being in the atrium bring the constant tone back (I hear it only when I put my fingers in my ears, but I can hear the hiss constantly, and even feel it, unless I'm stood next to something really quite loud).

      Weird that last night and this morning, it seemed to have cleared up. Then it comes back like it does. Last night and this morning was definitely the quietest it's been since I've had it. I sort of felt my normal self again... I was laid on the bed and didn't want to move incase it came back!
       
    25. Martin G
      Movie buff

      Martin G Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Life
      C'mon man . . . you can't just end on a cliffhanger like that!

      Did you move? Did it come back?

      Seriously though . . . how are things going for you at the moment? I'm only new to this myself and it's a torturous place to be in. However from what I've seen so far . . . most people here have never been able to say sentences that include things such as "much much quieter than it has been" or "pretty much vanished". That's definitely one in the 'plus column'. Simply knowing that it's even possible at all for the severity of your symptoms to significantly reduce, should give you cause to be optimistic.

      It's obviously been said before . . . but I'll say it again from personal experience . . . please be conscious of protecting your hearing from this point on. Especially being aware of any potentially loud sounds that could occur in whatever environment you find yourself in.

      The buzzer for the intercom in my apartment is ridiculously loud and doesn't have a volume control or on/off switch . . . so I had an electrician disconnect it. I don't need it anyway. My friends are aware of my condition and if they come over, they text from the car when they arrive and I go downstairs. So not having a working buzzer . . . all I'm missing out on are drunk neighbors and people doing surveys or whatever.

      So I was smart about that . . . but unfortunately the mega-loud security alarm at work went off unexpectedly in my office a couple of weeks ago, when I was standing very close to it . . . and my symptoms have been worse ever since. They disconnected the alarm following that . . . but the damage was already done.

      Some people here disconnect the smoke detectors in there homes. Personally, I've decided to leave mine on . . . as I think I would like to be warned if I was about to be engulfed by flames. Just have to make sure I don't burn the toast anymore.

      I can definitely relate to what you said in your original post about feeling happy with your life up until T came along. For the first half of this year I was walking around with a bounce in my step . . . looking forward to flying to New Zealand to visit my family at Xmas. Also looking forward to the fact that I was on the way to paying off my home-loan ahead of schedule, by the end of the year.

      Now I'm completely miserable. I had to cancel my ticket to NZ, due to being unable to fly (I have severe H as well as T) . . . and I paid off my mortgage this week, which is supposed to be some kind of a milestone . . . and it means absolutely nothing to me.

      It's unbelievable to think that noises in your head can have such a profound impact on your life. Completely changing your priorities and perceptions.

      Sorry . . . didn't mean to end on a downer.

      Anyway, hopefully the signs you mentioned of your T easing off a bit, have continued. Please keep us updated . . . and take care.
       
    26. Contrast

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Retrovile
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustical trauma
      that's stupid, ofcourse the hyperactivity in the audiotory brain will cease once all other biological functions do, a smarter thing to do is advocate for a treatment while we are still alive and preferably young
       
    27. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      HI @Pabl692

      You have just acquired persistent tinnitus since November if the information on your profile is correct? I will assume it was caused by exposure to "loud noise" as you are a musician. If you have also been a frequent user of headphones this would have contributed to the noise induced tinnitus.

      I am guessing here as I do not know your history, but suspect this isn't the first time you have experienced intrusive tinnitus being a musician? Most probably in the passed it reduced or would go away after a few days? If the tinnitus reduced to a low level it wouldn't be much of a concern.

      In any case you now have full-blown tinnitus and there are a few things that you need to do, in order to give yourself the best chance of recovery. You will need to stop playing music in your band for a while to give your ears and auditory system as rest. This will require months rather than weeks. Refrain from using headphones of any type even at low volume. Please try not to mask your tinnitus as you will inevitably make it worse as you have found.
      Use a sound machine at night by your bedside, more about this is mentioned in the posts below.

      Please click on the links and read my posts and articles that I believe will help you.
      All the best

      Michael

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-to-tinnitus-what-to-do.12558/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-the-negative-mindset.23705/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/inspiration.22894/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/can-tinnitus-counselling-help.22366/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-habituation-process.20767/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/a-change-of-lifestyle.20643/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-negative-counselling.26669/

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/acquiring-a-positive-mindset.23969/
       
      Last edited: Dec 8, 2018
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    28. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Thank you for this Michael. I'll heed your advise. I don't think I'll be playing with my band anymore and Ill stay clear of headphones. I work at a college which is quite loud and noisy, but I'll do my best to try and protect my hearing.

      I'm really not hopeful of this ever disappearing. I know it does for some, but I think the years and years worth of playing without protection will probably have left serious damage. How stupid I have been. Let's be honest, it's rare that ears just 'heal', isn't it? I'm stuck with this forever.

      I never seem to have too much trouble sleeping. I know I should be grateful for that. I don't use anything to mask it, I just get lost in my thoughts when I sleep. It's a bit irritating in a morning, when I'm snoozin, but it could be worse.

      It just irritates me when I'm at home just pottering around the house or trying to watch TV as I can just hear it above pretty much everything. Even now at work, it might be quite loud there and I can still hear it, albeit sometimes faintly, above everything. It's impossible to ignore.

      It's just so high pitched. Almost like air, it's so difficult to describe.

      My only bit of hope was that maybe I'd gotten hearing loss and I might get hearing aids that would help. But the doctor didn't refer me to an audiologist.

      I don't really hear it when I'm outside or driving the car. Everywhere else I do. It's just got me so depressed. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I can't face anything. I've lost interest in everything, and I've only had it 2 weeks. It's Christmas soon and usually I love it. This year I just don't care about it, every day is just hell.

      Martin, thanks for your post. I feel you mate, everything just goes grey.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    29. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      HI @Pabl692

      I understand how you feel having had tinnitus for 22 years and suffered two noise traumas. My second took 4 years to recover so it is possible. Understandably you feel somewhat depressed and negative about the future but let me try to reassure you, I believe you will make improvement within the weeks and months to follow that will probably surprise you, providing you follow the advice in my posts and articles in the links I've provided.

      I am serious about this and not just trying to make you feel better. The fact that you are able to sleep is a very positive sign. Please do not overprotect your hearing as you are likely to make your tinnitus worse. If you also have hyperacusis, this can become worse too. Follow my advice in: Hyperacusis, As I see it in the link above.

      Avoid sleeping in a quiet room by using a sound machine, this is very important.

      You will improve I'm certain of it. Talk to your doctor if you're feeling depressed and something will probably be prescribed to help you with stress.

      If you want to give me a telephone call at anytime then send me a PM.
      All the best

      Michael
       
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    30. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Thank you very very much, you give me some hope. Obviously, I'm very new to all this, but your experience and knowledge is far greater than mine, so the logical part of my brain says to listen.

      It's very scary at the moment. In reality, mine isn't the most debilitating thing ever. It's like walking around with my head behind an old TV. But when I'm alone in my house on an evening and I'd usually find comfort and company in the TV, and now I can't enjoy that because the noise is so loud, it's very disheartening. Last weekend, I checked myself into A&E because I was really suicidal.

      I don't know how much damage I've done. It seems that any sort of noise can set the constant tone off in my head, but this really isn't very loud and can only hear it when I put my fingers in my ears. The hiss is there constantly.

      That's very kind of you to offer. I might just do that, if it would be OK.

      I didn't think your ears could heal. I don't know how they heal or anything so it's difficult to believe that one day this might just go away.
       

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