New and in Total Despair — Noticed Tinnitus After Seeing the Movie Baby Driver

Hi guys,

This is my first post. I'm aware of my tinnitus since the 3th of July.

I went to see the movie Baby Driver that recently came out. The leading actor has got tinnitus and listens to his mp3 24/7 to live his life.

Once I came home and laid in bed I started to think: how would that be like? Do I also have a beep in my ear? So I listened and there it was. A high pitched tone. Since then my whole world turned upside down.

It's controlling me and I'm obsessing 24/7 about it. 11th of August I'll visit an ENT. I just don't know what to do. I read every simple piece I could find on tinnitus on the internet. I'm hoping to eventually find relief through habituation but I feel so hopeless. I don't know what to do with myself. I spend my days reading and reading. A lot of the same over and over again.

What to do? Everywhere there are given different tips and tricks but I just don't know. Anyone here with some encouraging words? I feel really lost. X

 

Hi @Tinizzy

If you listen to music through headphones I advise you not to use them even at low volume. Give your ears a rest for a couple of months. If you don't use headphones that's even better. Please click on the link below and read my articles on tinnitus that you might find helpful: Tinnitus, A Personal View. Hyperaucusis As I See It.

Try to avoid quiet rooms and surroundings especially at night by using a sound machine. More is explained in Tinnitus A Personal View. Try to read the articles in full and don't skim through them.

All the best
Michael
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

I've noticed mine about 2 weeks ago. I had had a similar ringing before in my life usually after a concert that went away after a few days - but I knew it was because of the concert and that it would go away. It gave me more anxiety than Ive ever felt in my life - but i'm learning how to manage it, and have significantly calmed down recently.

Most, if not all people have a ringing in their ears to some degree. I think awareness of tinnitus as it's own problem absolutely exacerbates the effect it has over our minds. Example: A toddler falls down; they might get back up and continue running around - or - an over-concerned parent might rush over to check, pamper, hold, and coddle the toddler which then makes the toddler think something is wrong, and begins to cry.

It's unlikely a movie caused hearing loss, but the movie did raise your awareness of tinnitus, so now you're checking to see if you have it, which is the exact opposite thing you want to do - humans are very good at finding things they are looking for, real or imagined. The thing is, our brains are also very good are ignoring things. There's a chance it has been there a long time but your brain was filtering it out as it filters out a lot of useless sensory inputs. Your brain will have to learn to ignore it again.

Watch this, it significantly helped me calm down:

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for Tinnitus...

You are not alone, the sound cannot hurt you.
See your ENT to rule things out. If there is no hearing loss in the normal range, they will likely tell you that you will adjust. A significant majority of people do learn to ignore it.

 

@Michael Leigh. Thank you. I will read your articles!

@JimJimJalabim. Thank you too. I think it's admirable you already calmed down so much. Wish I was like you. Although I want to believe in habituation it feels like I first want to experience before I can believe it's true

 

I believe you will find them helpful. If you click on my Avatar and choose "started threads" there are more articles in the list.
Best of luck
Michael

 

Welcome @Tinizzy. I am sorry to hear that you are obsessing over your tinnitus. I understand. It is hard to not think about something that you cannot not hear.

Try not to obsess over it (I know, far easier said than done), but keep in mind, worrying over it does not change it, and in fact it will make you focus on it even more, making you think it is worse than it actually is. Based on your original post, you did not even really now you had it until you stopped to think about it. I am not an expert, but if you did not notice it until you stopped and listened for it, you may easily be able to habituate, or learn to ignore it. For many (myself included) it is never not noticeable. So, while I hesitate to say this to anyone with tinnitus, but you may be fortunate in that it was, and probably can be, ignored.

If you have not not yet, I would highly recommend reading the articles @Michael Leigh suggested. Michael, like almost every member of this forum, suffers from tinnitus, so unlike much of what you will come across as the result of a google search, he writes from personal experience.

I also can sympathize with the "lost" feeling. But, you have located this forum, and I hope as you spend time here, get to know the many wonderful and helpful people on this site, you will feel that you have found a place that will help and that understands. Hopefully knowing that you are not alone in your struggle will provide some comfort. This is a great place, filled with sympathetic and caring people who always seem willing to help.

Please keep us updated on your progress, and I hope you find what you need here.

 

Is it quieter than the quietest sound you can make by drawing in the air through your nose? Is it quieter than a whisper? I am making these guesses based on the fact that you haven't been aware of it before you began looking for it.

 

@Kolisar
Thanks for your kind words. I truly hope you're right about the fact that it was so mild I wouldnt even notice when I wasnt aware of what tinnitus was. I hope I can return to the ignoring state, although I think it's hard to accomplish this fast because I got so scared.
I feel like it's such a shame I searched for the noise. I curse the day I went to the movie.

@Bill Bauer
Thats not how I would describe it now. I can hear it over everything. It's now turned into some sort of white noise with sometimes a high pitched voice to it. What are the criteria for tinnitus being intrusive? Cause I might got a 'mild' tinnitus in the sense it's not superloud. But because I'm able to hear it over anything I feel like it's intrusive.

 

@Tinizzy the point is you could not hear it before and now you do. Nothing has changed since that night so I believe you're hyper focused,we can all hear it over everything if we try. The real loudness is determined by how it affects you while doing normal activities, when you're not anxious any more.
I once had intrusive thoughts during my first pregnancy hence I started CBT - what happens is that eventually your awareness shifts into something else and you stop noticing something in the background.
Unless of course it disturbs you, which very loud T does, but that's a different story, not mainly a psychological issue any more, we're moving towards a physical debilitating condition similar to pain.

So you will get better imo from what you describe, it wil just take some time getting out of your anxious circle. x

 

I would call that intrusive...

 

I agree with @Bill Bauer , that would qualify as intrusive, but that does not mean that you cannot learn to habituate or that it will not get better. Hang in there, you will get through this and you will be able to return to a more normal life.

 

@Candy Thank you so much for your encouraging words. This gives me hope. Although for now I think: how did I ever not notice this? 2 weeks before the cinema I went to a club without plugs in, i had my ears ringing right after but after some long sleep not anymore(normally I always wear plugs, but this time I made an exception because a friend's mother was dying and I wanted to do her a favor. So this makes me think if I got it then why didnt I notice? It's so weird to me) I hope for me it's indeed more of a psychological issue. I feel like I did this to myself. When I ask my boyfriend he can also hear a ringing over everything (like you said: we all can if we want to) but he's able to not hear it when he doesnt focus. I dont get why I cant do that.. Yesterday I drank some wine and for a while I couldnt hear my whoosing/whatever it is but when I did my best I could. Waah. I wish there was a button in my head I could switch to going into unawareness again..

 

Best thing to do is "behave as if". Seek as much interaction as possible, keep occupied and get off the forums.
If you don't succeed try CBT, it helps for obsessive thoughts and trust me thoughts can be based on reality (say you have a hint of tinnitus) but they can be dismantled.
Additionally you will start to habituated to the noise itself if it did coincidentally start when you were looking for it but I believe the fact you were looking for it at the time you noticed it means it was very mild to begin with so getting use to it now that it's in your consciousness should be very doable. We've had other people with similar worries once or twice and soon enough they're off the forum living again x

 

@Candy Once again I'm really thankful for your comment. I will try to stay of the internet and seek as much interaction as possible. Hopefully I can get back to my life back soon. It is bad that I think about it like every second of the day? Will that gradually lessen by time passing by? Cause right now I cant imagine I will not think about it. X Izzy

 

Your t is not controlling you. Your FEAR of your t is controlling you.

You have probably googled tinnitus to death by now, so you will know what NOT to do.

I have read of others discovering t upon deliberately listening for it.

So, it would make logical sense to me that you do the precise opposite; try to focus on your reactions (back to silence method) rather than obsessing about the noise itself. Easier said than done. You have a project: to help your brain forget your t.

I remember reading that buddhist monks meditate in order to reach spiritual enlightenment (evidenced by hearing t). Aboriginals believe when they hear their t, this is a sign that their loved ones in the after life are communicating with them. They rejoice.

And here we are obsessing, which I get, but it might be worth noting that not everyone is bothered by t. Depending on our perceptions, that can be culturally defined. There are people on this forum, who have experienced t for a significant amount of time, who arent bothered by the noise until they learn that they have tinnitus.

Weve all felt hopeless and helpless and then some.

There is hope. Read the positive stories on this forum. Stay away from the negative messages. You dont need to feed your anxiety.

I never thought I would ever habituate. I know where you are at, and its horrible. Trust the experience of those here who are back to living happy, productive lives, who also happen to have t and h.

Your t could still disappear, but if I were you, I wouldnt reinforce it by focusing upon it. I would give my brain a chance to forget about it.

Your life isnt over. This is just a gliche. You are not alone.

 

@DebInAustralia Also thanks for your reply. I do know by now that it's mainly the reaction that causes severe distress. I hope I will get it under control and will ignore the sound/habituate to it soon. I find it very distressful not knowing when and exactly what to expect. If I could have like this ultimatum: within a year you will be habituated and living your life as you always did I would sign up for it. Seeing all the replies I got I believe there is hope for me to 'accomplish' that.

 

subjective volume comparisons are weird and IMO not that helpful. When I am in a silent room wearing earplugs, I generally perceive my tinnitus to be quieter than the sounds of my own breathing/heartbeat. However, when I'm outside and there's noise, I generally perceive my tinnitus to be louder than most things in my environment... even if I'm riding a motorcycle or something. On the other hand I know people who have subjectively "loud" tinnitus... which they cannot hear over a running HVAC or something.

Internal sounds do not have associated decibel levels, and are highly subject to the whims of conscious perception.

If someone puts some significant amount of time (say, 2-300 hours) into actively working with the tinnitus signal during meditation, generally they hit a point where they can interact with it in some way. I have trained along these lines too long, and can readily and easily cause significant shifts in the nature of my tinnitus just through directed thought -- but, you know, I can't make it just go away, so who cares? :-P

 

Update. I just went to my ENT today and my hearing is perfect. He says to become friends with my tinnitus. I also had a labtest done and it showed a vitamin B12 deficiency. So now I'm hoping I can get rid of it by getting B12 injections. Anyone any experience with that?