No Support at Home :(

Discussion in 'Support' started by SueR, Dec 14, 2013.

tinnitus forum
    1. SueR
      Disappointed

      SueR Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Boston, MA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ear infection
      I got home to find my husband had someone here, so I went to my room for as much peace and quiet as I could find. Husband tends to be noisy, and doesn't know it, never sees it even if you mention it to him... and this was before H.

      Husband let the dog bark and bark and bark... I'm hearing it pumped directly into my ear, even though I'm across the entire house. Guest leaves, now it's Son (home from college last night) and Husband in the kitchen, clanging of pots and pans, cupboards, etc. There's NO concept of them being loud. I can't live like this. I went to tell them this cannot work for me... there needs to be more quiet. They both insist they aren't doing anything noisy, and maybe I need to wear earplugs. I explained that wearing plugs is not recommended because it will hinder progress. This is supposed to be everyday noises, not a rock concert. I'm just starting off in my road to recovery so the dog barking and the pots and the kettle... are just sending mee over the edge. I'm managing just fine at the office, then I get home and my positive day gets shot. :(

      I don't know what to do. :(
       
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    2. NeoM
      Moonlighting

      NeoM Member

      Location:
      America
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/31/2013
      As yes...hyperacusis the condition people don't "get."

      I have a similar situation to you. You might want to purchase ear muffs and wear them when it seems too much.
       
    3. Per

      Per Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      SueR, make your husband and everyone else you spend much time with get to know H on a detailed level. Make them read this description and ask them to treat this as any illness. It's about respect. I guess they wouldn't go around spraying deodorant if they knew someone in the household was super allergic to it. Well, H is the same thing. We are "allergic" to loud noises at the moment and our response system is stuck on LOUD.

      http://www.hyperacusis.net/hyperacusis/what+is+hyperacusis/default.asp
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
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    4. Dan Turner
      Transparent

      Dan Turner Member

      Location:
      Conyers, Georgia
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Per is absolutely right on the money.
      Since none of us wear bloodied bandages around our head...friends & family forget in a relatively short time.

      ATA may have some printable items online to get friends and family started.
      There are some non-snakeoil YouTube vids (William Shatner is featured in one)....that you can email the link to everyone as well as the ATA updates.

      For the hub.....tell him the days of the week that belong to your malady...non-negotiable. I don't think it's indifference of your situation....just the ability to adapt and then forget. If it's on the calendar...it'll help them along and give you a bit of "trade off" leverage. Don't be shy and definitely don't feel like you're imposing...it's not within your control and you need their cooperation.

      Good luck....be strong.
       
    5. SueR
      Disappointed

      SueR Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Boston, MA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ear infection
      @Dan Turner , what do you mean "tell him the days of the week that belong to your malady"?

      Every day I am dealing with this and I'm wiped out by the time I get home. I'm new to this (Day 29!) so maybe it'll settle down after a while and I'll have good days and bad days??
       
    6. Markku
      Inspired

      Markku Director Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing
      I can only commiserate. Barking dogs (and other loud everyday noises) for a person with H sounds dreadful.

      Per was absolutely right above though. You need to let your family know what's what, and that you can't currently stand those noises. It's not about not liking them, but more so that it causes a severe negative response in your health, and I'm sure your family wants to avoid being a cause for that.

      Education is key. Print them some articles about H, and go from there.

      Have a great week Sue!

      Markku
       
    7. Dan Turner
      Transparent

      Dan Turner Member

      Location:
      Conyers, Georgia
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      I meant what I said...I think I mistook your date in your profile...July 2012 as being past the initial stages and working on "maintenance" issues.
       
    8. SueR
      Disappointed

      SueR Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Boston, MA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ear infection
      oh... I see where the confusion is. My tinnitus in my left ear started then, the H in my right ear started a month ago.
       
    9. SueR
      Disappointed

      SueR Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Boston, MA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ear infection
      ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!

      I had a decent day at the office (my environment is pretty quiet), the drive home wore me out a little bit (45 min drive...), but doing well. I get home and it gets shot to crap... every night. Mostly, it's just family going about the evening w/o much regard to my hearing condition. Okay, I won't tell you to turn off the music while you cook... I can just go to my room and shut the door.

      but tonight... I'm standing 2 feet away, talking, he goes to call our son in another room. I'M TWO FEET AWAY!! ...and he yells Aaron's name. Not to mention, I already had the answer to his question.

      My ears have been assaulted. my head is crying "why???". 7pm and I'm going to bed. :(
       

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