Last night I ran out of my house and walked for 5 hours in the dark. Determined never to go home again. My plan was to lay down somewhere when it got dark and and cold and hopefully not wake up. This Sertraline spike is so bad and loud and intense. I feel debilitated.
Then I hear a year later...8 years later it's not changed from people posting online stuff.
I can't deal 8 years or the rest of my life this. It's so reactive and sensitive I'm scared to go out. Even move sometimes. It's like my ears are being drilled.
Keep torturing myself with the fact If I'd just checked I wouldn't be in this hell. As I was walking I thought it might even be easier to check myself into a hospital and let them dope me up til I don't care anymore.
This has taken my last ounce of fight and I think I'd rather me away somewhere where locked away than here faced with all these things I've lost on a day to day basis. That a hell all on its own.
Then I hear a year later...8 years later it's not changed from people posting online stuff.
I can't deal 8 years or the rest of my life this. It's so reactive and sensitive I'm scared to go out. Even move sometimes. It's like my ears are being drilled.
Keep torturing myself with the fact If I'd just checked I wouldn't be in this hell. As I was walking I thought it might even be easier to check myself into a hospital and let them dope me up til I don't care anymore.
This has taken my last ounce of fight and I think I'd rather me away somewhere where locked away than here faced with all these things I've lost on a day to day basis. That a hell all on its own.