One Month of Despair and Hope

My story to date:

T minus 1 month - My cousin had a virus which ended up permanently damaging 90% of his hearing in his left ear. So I was already worried about him and freaked out. He had been misdiagnosed, and if they had treated him correctly they could have saved his hearing.

Week 1 - Ear hurt and T, went to family doctor. He thought it was swimmers ear. Drops and "see us in a week". T was medium and annoying but I thought it would go away with the drops. But cousin was in the back of my mind so I was getting worried.

Week 2 - Traveling, and T got worse. Based on my cousin I became convicted I was misdiagnosed and going deaf, resulting in frequent panic attacks and anxiety. Got hotel to call doctor to my room. Doc said "inner ear infection", gave me antibiotics and steroids. I calmed down for two days, but was back in panic mode that I was going deaf when no results in two days. I noticed huge amounts of alcohol seemed to knock the T down.

Week 3 - ENT visit when I finally got home. He saw no sign of infection whatsoever, ear pressure fine, and my hearinng was perfect. I was just figuring out that pressing on my neck, moving my head changed the T tones, which matches my heartbeat (usually). That and the alcohol story got me a TMJ referral. He also gave me Robaxin, which helps a LOT -knocks T down 50% or more, and doesn't make me sleepy.

Week 3.5 - CT at CMJ specialist. Theory is that bad orthodontics 35 years ago shoved my jaw too close to my skull. Add in clenching and night grinding, and everything is impacted. Ordered day and night guards, which I had to wait 10 days to get in.

Week 3.7 - Added massage therapy to Doctor list.

Week 3.9 - Added shrink to Doctor list, who I found out had T for 7 months and it went away (weird coincidence - I did not know this until the first session. So it became more a T consult than traditional therapy). Got Ativan for any future panic attacks and Remeron to sleep, but haven't started R yet since I am already taking Ambien.

Week 5 - Bite guards finally arrived. Now get to wait, seeing if resetting jaw and massage therapy "unimpact" the jaw, while talking to shrink to lower my anxiety.

Is this the right treatment? Is this the true cause? I don't know. I have good days - I had one afternoon this week when it seemed practically gone, and horrible days where I can't hear myself think and go into despair. When that happens the drugs help, but I think I'm in for a roller coaster of hope and despair over the upcoming months....