One Year On and Huge Improvements

"This is what we started," the last song and line I ever heard before the ringing in my ears began, and little did I know what had just started. The music faded, the lights came up and immediately I knew I wouldn't shake this new sound that filled my ears and head. I've seen people describe T as either one of four levels: mild, moderate, severe or extreme. A year ago today I would've said extreme was an understatement. I could barely hear anything above the T. Now a year on I have come on a million miles and if you are new to T let this thread be a reminder that it will get better, however much you tell yourself it won't.

I found that the first three months were where the real improvements with regards to the volume occurred but has steadily decreased continuously until now and I hope that continues. However recently I am not sure if this is just me habituating or still a reduction. However I believe the real healing of T begins long after this initial three month period. I really did struggle at first with the mental side of it. The stress it caused me on top of the sleepless nights was unbearable. As a result I found myself often saying strange things and just genuinely making me unbearable to be around at times. I also struggled with the social aspect initially. I found myself retracting away from social situations simply because of the possible noise levels I'd expose myself to. My peers didn't understand and could be very cruel with their comments and this really did push my mental resolve to breaking point. To say at times I was a sheer wreck would be appropriate however good I became at hiding it. I, in time, began to realise who actually cared for my well-being, I learned I was actually only doing myself harm by retracting from social situations and that my ears aren't as fragile as can first appear at on set of T. I now regularly go out with friends to social events with very little fear of noise. I've learned how to manage in slightly louder environments so I can socialise in an almost unlimited number of ways now. Coffee shops, restaurants, cinemas, pubs and bars and no longer out of bounds. This along with a more consistent pattern of sleep has far improved my well-being and happiness. I feel more like pre T me with each day that passes.

As when I acquired T I was only 17, I was very fearful of how it would impact my academic progress. Well after a year of studying with T I can say it definitely impacted my marks and I really did struggle in the early part of last year. I had no drive and no energy to learn due to the T. However I did receive my A level results on Thursday and I'm pleased to say I achieved 3A*s and an A and got into the university of my choice to study a masters in chemical engineering. Personally I see this an even bigger achievement that just gaining those grades as I had to revise for longer and in a more adverse state of mind than the rest of my cohort. The sense of pride after overcoming this adversity is, I imagine, greater than anyone else on result day.

When it comes to hearing protection with T, it is like walking a tight rope. I am a firm believer in over protection can lead to a fear of noise which can be worse than the T itself. It's actually the fear of the T getting worse that inhibits your life, not the sound of T. I ordered a box of skin coloured foam ear plugs about 10 months ago and still haven't got through the 40 pairs. I regularly cut them in half as I find the stubs offer enough protection in most situations without attracting very tiresome questions which I initially felt embarrassed about. My advice is lean on the side of caution but don't let decibel readings take over your life.

In summary, a year on my T is I'd say at a moderate level, I rarely think about it even though I can hear it. I feel happier during an exciting period of my life. I know I'll face many more challenges in the coming years of university life but these I'm sure will be outweighed by fun and enjoyable times.

And finally, if you are reading this new to Tinnitus, my advice is look at how long people have had Tinnitus for on this forum. The vast majority of people posting have had it less than a year. Tinnitustalk is an absolutely brilliant community to help you overcome T but people are often drawn to this forum in their darkest hours. The fact long term suffers are half as frequent as new users proves it only gets better. I now only visit this incredible forum on my bad days so I feel I owe it to new users to remind them with this post I am living proof it gets better. The road to recover is a testing and trying one but perseverance will ensure you reach your desired destination.

Many thanks to all the regular contributors and people who I've had the chance to interact with on this site. You know who you are. You are truly wonderful humans beings.

Many Thanks
Joe

 

Congratulation! Achieving this while battling T is a huge accomplishment.

Worse than the catastrophic T (that you had experienced initially) lasting a lifetime? If your T is not at the "can hear it only in quiet rooms" stage, it is possible that the quote above is the reason.

Try to put things into perspective. This person's disapproval will last for a couple of minutes. The results of insufficient protection can last a lifetime.

It is ok to care about the important stuff that can make the difference between a lifetime of suffering and not having to endure a lifetime of suffering.

If you begin hitting a wall with a hammer, it takes a while before there is a hole in the wall...

 

Thanks Bill for the support.

I do completely understand where you are coming from with your comments. I agree with the disapproval only lasting a few moments hence I no longer find this embarrassing. With regards to over protection I personally don't "over protect" but I do believe you are right to educate people as you are doing so everyone can make informed decisions.

 

I also used to worry about looking ridiculous (even at the age of 40). After walking around several airports (and multiple other public places) while wearing the ridiculous-looking X5A muffs, I am mostly over it. "Do what you fear and your fear will disappear."

 

If I had T when I was in college I would have dropped out!

 

Not to be rude, but have you looked for help other than just for tinnitus? I've seen your posting everywhere around here and its always extremely negative. There are a ton of people with worse tinnitus than you that are doing fine and living a happy life. I also have tinnitus that I can even hear when driving on the highway with my windows open but I'm doing okay. Your extreme negative mindset should be tackled, not your tinnitus.

I think you're absolutely right in this. People mostly read horror stories but thats just because the vast majority of people with tinnitus are at a point where they go on with their lives despite of their tinnitus. People with extreme tinnitus are out there living a wonderful life with no reason at all to visit forums like these. I know so many people around me with tinnitus. Most don't have it nearly as bad as me, but still they have tinnitus and are feeling fine. My dad also has severe tinnitus and he wouldn't even think about visiting a forum, its just a sound anyway. He just goes on with life and focuses on more important things.

 

Hello guys , iv'e been wondering if any of you experience tinnitus mainly in one ear ? Im pretty sure that i had tinnitus ever since i can remember but at a VERY low volume that it would literally just fade into the background even at night , but recently at the start of august in my right ear the tinnitus seemed to spike without a known reason. I was slightly alerted and decided to visit the GP to check if it was possibly wax build up etc or possible infection as ive also been experiencing an on and off pain in my throat that would occasionally travel to my ears. They told me at the GP that i actually have exceptionally clean ears and no wax build-up , so im really curious to why this tinnitus could have spiked mainly in one ear.

 

@Joe4
What an incredible achievement, getting those grades is amazing enough but with T as a revision partner, that’s just amazing!
Well done. You should be very proud of yourself on doing so well and on working your way though the T obstacle. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sure the world is your oyster now, if you can do this, you can do anything
All the best to you
Shelly

 

You wouldnt last a day going through what I go through. It is not just really bad tinnitus, it is really bad hyperacusis( i cant talk without causing discomfort), on top of that add very very bad eye floaters (dark), and visual snow. If i had just blasting tinnitus then I would be ok somewhat and try to habituate.
​

 

Really doesn’t mean anything if there’s one person that can live well with severe tinnitus. It can be a very debilitating condition, especially in combination with hyperacusis. And I’d say every person with severe tinnitus struggles, whether they show it or not.

We understand there’s a difference between living with mild and severe chronic pain, the same applies to tinnitus.

Don’t try to diminish how debilitating tinnitus can be, be grateful yours isn’t worse. You truly cannot know how bad someone’s tinnitus is and it gets even more complicated if that person struggles with hyperacusis. Have a look at Gaby Olthuis' story or read Jenny's story, two women whose only escape for severe tinnitus and severe hyperacusis was euthanasia. So much for people with extreme tinnitus living their best lives.

There are 2 million Americans alone that struggle with severe tinnitus that interferes with their daily activities. You clearly do not understand how debilitating these conditions can be. Which is not to say that @dpdx can’t improve (I truly hope he does), however, we have to be honest about how much tinnitus affects the minority. You can’t say most people are fine but then look down on people who struggle.

 

Thanks for sharing that @Joe4.
Well done on your results, and I hope you have a great Engineering career.
With an attitude like yours I am sure you will.
Its great to read a positive story.
I too find those foam plugs cut down are really useful if inserted correctly. I only use them lightly in situations I now know I react too - like filling a bath and flushing toilets Yep...No shit !
Have a great time at Uni TT friend.

 

I also have very bad eye floaters and visual snow but they're not related to my tinnitus. I got those from going into psychosis from weed. Since I had my psychosis I also get extremely realistic nightmares every night. But you are right. I dont know what it's like to have hyperacusis, but I hear that 90% of the cases fade over a few years, as long as they slowly expose them selves to more and more sound and don't stay too scared of it. Underexposing will make it last longer apparantly.

 

I agree completely. My T wont let me watch tv, read, go outside, sleep, rest,etc and add severe hyperacusis where I cant stand my own voice, other people talking. Plus on top of that visual snow and nasty black eye floaters and it gets that bad. It is amazing that just 110db of a vemp test for 2 minutes can set tinnitus into the catastrophic mode and cause other conditions.

 

@Shelly75 sorry for the slow reply as I've been extremely busy and must have forgot to put the thread on watch Thank you for your support, it means so much to have people in the community give me so much backing!

 

@Kelvin thank you for your kind words, it truly does mean a lot. I try to have a positive attitude and will try my best to have a great time at Uni. I'll keep you updated.

 

@Joe4 thanks for your post.

I'm happy you're recovering your life and building toughness toward T. I like your attitude!

One word of advice. Be careful not to re injure your ears. You now know you are more susceptible to T (fragile cilia). One extremely loud noise would cancel your habituation and elevate your T to even higher levels than before.

For the rest of your life, always be aware of this and on guard. Prevention is the only cure for tinnitus.