Perhaps We Can Add Some Light Humor to This?

Haha...I might buy some crickets to mask my t.

 

I read about this game one can play with a pet...but I didn't see -itz at the end. This first attempt didn't work so well.

 

...but this one went much better.

 

Real church bulletin bloopers:

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall - Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

8. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

11. Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy."

14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

23. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

25. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

27. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

28. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

29. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance

 

Me before getting T: Dad, please stop snoring I can't sleep! (I could hear him through the walls)
After I got T: Well.. His snoring masks my T. Now I can sleep peacefully

 

Haha! That's really funny! Well, I need a girlfriend which can snore.

 

Well, if you do happen to find one, don't tell her that she snores! Women REALLY don't appreciate hearing that. Don't ask me how I know....

 

Haha....Sure, I'll take note of that.

 

@jimH

30. the AA meeting will be held at 8pm, this thursday at the church community center. Drinks will be served after the meeting.

 

@Sailboardman ...Good one!..

My faves are numbers, 1, 3, 5, 15, 25, 27 & 29. I think they really are funny!

 

Santa's Reindeer Test....

 

Great look at these again...
We need more......@Hoper I'm sure you have a few....lots of love glynis

 

Man, she snores so loudly that she gave me a spike, I had to tell her.

 

An old thread but looking at some of these again sure did bring a smile to my face...

 

I rang the tinnitus hot line and nobody answered, it just kept on ringing.

 

I forgot about this thread,great to see it back from the past 2017.