Properly Introducing Myself, in Need of Hope...

where do I begin?

So I'm new to this tinnitus thing but I'm no stranger to ear problems, mostly ear infections. I had tubes in my ears as a little baby, and I've been prone to ear infections my entire 34 years of life. Then this past December I had an episode of vertigo that sent me to the hospital thinking I was having a stroke. The ER doctors told me that a virus had gotten into my ear and messed with my balance. Then in April of this year I had n ear infection that plugged my ears up. The antibiotics didn't unplug them like they usually do, it took Sudafed to finally do that.

Then in late September I got yet another ear infection. I woke up one day with my right ear plugged and ringing in my left ear. Turned out my left ear was in the early stage of an infection. I was given amoxicillin like usual and within a day my right ear was unplugged and the ringing in my left ear was completely gone. I continued taking my antibiotics and didn't give it another thought until the last day of my taking the amoxicillin. The ringing in my left ear was back. I went to my local urgent care clinic where I was told that I had "a little" fluid behind my ear drum. I was given azythromyacyn (spelling?) which didn't solve the problem. I went to my primary Doctor who thought that I had Eustachian tube distinction and referred me to an ENT.

I went to the ENT the next week. The hearing test they gave my didn't show any problems with my Eustachian tubes and as it turns out I have slight hearing loss in both ears, though the ringing is only in my left ear. After the audiologist gave me the hearing test I saw the ENT himself, who I have to say was not only useless but had terrible bedside manner. He walked into the room, took a quick look at my ears to see if there was still any infection (there wasn't) and then he told me that I have tinnitus for life and I should just go home and "get used to it". It was honestly like he was reading from a script. No compassion, no hope, just go deal with it. I left the clinic more hopeless and despondent then I've ever been in my life. Thankfully I found a goon audiologist who not only knows what it's like to have T since he has it himself but has a great way with patients. He's setting me up with a hearing aid next week, which I hope will give me some relief. But this past month has been the hardest of my life. The thought of having to deal with this for the rest of my life is just so overwhelming and I'm asking myself questions that I know I'll never have the answers to. "I've had more ear infections then I can count, why would this one do this to me?" "Why would the ringing go away with the amoxicillin and then come back to stay? It doesn't make any sense!" "The past year or so has been extremely stressful for me, could that be part of the problem?" "How am I going to cope with this for the rest of my life?" I feel like I've been cursed and there isn't anything I can do about it. I just want peace and quiet again. I just want my life back. I'm trying I Who Love Music"'s "back to silence" method. Hopefully it will help me in time.

So that's my introduction and my T story. Thanks for reading, and sorry for the wall of text.

 

Welcome and good that you are trying the effective method by IWLM. Hope it helps you to moderate your reaction to T.

There are many success stories out there and hopefully you will find collectively that they will help you. Make sure you get masking going as soon as possible. I am not a doctor so it is not my place to advise on the ear infections. If the doctors are not helping much, nor the drugs out there, then the best course of action is to find the right strategies to help you cope with T mentally. I have my days of hell with T a few years back, with ultra high pitched dog whistle T and severe H. On top of that I had relentless anxiety and panic attacks, being a victim of anxiety and panic disorder for decades prior to T & H. The sufferings were so immense that often the tired and stressed out mind was dangling the 'S' word in front of me, as it saw no way out of the mess. Like you, I had the same thought about how to deal with such unlivable condition for life. I never thought I would recover and see good life again.

But never say never. I am back to living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life free from the T darkness. I list many points which have helped me turned around. If you want to diversify your method and approach, you can give it a read:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

Hi Kuriboh1981,
A lot us us have been where you are now, and it WILL improve as billie48 says. If there is intermittent fluid or inflammation in the ear,this can cause tinnitus, as can any degree of hearing loss. I think determining if you have Eustachian Tube Dysfunction is very difficult (I have it), but tubes will only really help the pressure symptoms, not the tinnitus.
With ear infections,fluid etc, the resolution of the tinnitus often lags several weeks behind, so there is good reason to hope that it will go away completely.
Have been to my own living hell with tinnitus. and became severely depressed like billie48. I, too am living a normal life with tinnitus. I have hearing aids which generate white noise and find them very helpful.
I'm sure things will look up. Hang on in there.

Fungus.

 

Thanks for the replies. I read your thread billie, and there is a lot of good stuff in there. And I really hope it does go away, but I'm trying to learn to deal with it like it's going to be a life long thing.

 

It is probably better to have your approach of accepting T as a life long thing, and that if it fades, count that as a blessing. However, even as a life long thing, you will gradually find T less of an issue even for the same level of ringing, as the brain becomes more hardened to the same sound stimulus over time and will get bored of monitoring it. If you live in such a way to suggest to the brain that T is not a threat, then the brain will find its way to tune out this sound when it is busy with other things.

 

That's the plan-try to habituate to the T wail a small part of me still holds out hope that it could just be temporary. I got the hearing aid, and it's really nice for giving my poor left ear a break, but then I hear the damn T in the right ear. My audiologist says that since the noise in in my head not my ear it isn't uncommon for it to move around like that, but if I need an aid for the right esr too that can be taken care of.