Quite a While Since the Onset, Time to Introduce Myself

Hello TT community,

I had been posting in the forum for a while and i thought i should introduce myself. My name is Antonis. I live in the noisy city of Athens. My main profession is dancing/dance instructor. Long story short it's been 5 months since my personal "orchestra" has penetrated in my head and give performances every second of my life. After visiting countless ENTs and three neurologists, i lost my hopes for finding my cause. There are many possible scenarios. Ototoxicity from fluconazole (for which i could not find any well-documented ototoxicity data), music from dancing classes (years now, but never on the level of a loud club... didn't feel any discomfort in my ears). I can recall one time that i played for a few secs percussions quite loud. Maybe stress or maybe a combination of the above. Who knows?

I've done numerous tests. Normal and high frequency audiograms, OAE, tympanometry, 2 MRIs, CT scan and various blood tests. All clean. Hearing is good. I'm waiting also for my ABR results. Since the onset my T has been progressing. Started one mild tone unilateral, progressed with various noises bilateral. I remember myself when my T went bilateral, started looking up for the condition on the internet. This was when i found this forum. I started lurking a lot. Unfortunately from my panic and anxiety i didn't make good use of it. I had been focusing on various negative posts and i started to get confused with treatment options, because of the bad reviews. However i tried a few things like acupuncture, homeopathy, physiotherapy to no avail of course. Meanwhile i got myself into an endless round of doctor visits. Here in Greece they really have no clue! The last 'epic fail' was a neurologist who stuffs people with BS and over-diagnoses. My case was not exceptional and as an act of desperation i followed a controversial drug therapy which i quit by the second week. TT helped me with that decision with information i found here.

This very day i cannot say i cope well, although i do not feel that panicked and anxious like in the beginning. I still feel pretty down every day, mourning my pre-T life. Quite depressed i would say. I'm tired of crying almost everyday but i cannot help it! I am really concerned for my general well-being like everybody else, for my professional career which was on a good track, for quitting my piano hobby which took away all my stress and for my social life. I think that the fear of my T getting worse is worse then my current T itself. It makes me numb in my everyday activities. I do visit a therapist but i have much work ahead in order to address these issues. I do believe though that as much as - family, friends, therapists and generally people that do not experience this affliction - try to be supportive, they miss the real deal. After all, tinnitus is invisible in the eyes of others and that makes it loose it's credit of it's possible severity, like when you see impaired people.

This forum is a great community. I felt the necessity to donate in return. Being more and more familiar with it, it's full of useful information. I am happy to read the success stories of others. They are inspiring. I wish i will reach to that point one day. I feel the need to connect with people who cope well. God bless you all!

 

Welcome to Tinnitus Talk @vermillion.

You will get lots of support here and when you feel down also.
Glad to hear your having talking therapy as its a great support.
You will find as your mood starts to lift you will start to cope better with your sound and if getting enough sleep also.

Time is a great healer as you start to adjust to tinnitus and find what works for you to keep your mood up and learn to live life again.

Love glynis

 

Thank you @glynis for being always so kind and supportive.