Rough Time For Me — Need Medical Advice

@Martin69

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...s-test-this-supplement.6623/page-4#post-76397

this is the link to the tibetan medicine thread in case you have mislaid it or cant find it

 

@Martin69

Just to let you know that my so called partner has just come in and told me that i am causing trouble with the tinnitus thing of mine....!!! and that I am just trouble making with this T and that i will be dead in a couple of weeks......very supportive eh!!
Just to let you know that we are all going thru tough times.....sadly

 

Amandine,

I do understand that partners are sometimes loosing patience if we speak all the time about our problems. Therefore, I stopped talking about T with my wife - although sometimes I still need to or she sees me suffering. T is not only difficult for us, but also for our partners. We cannot show T to them. When we play the sound to them, they feel sorry, but not necessary really want to listen to it. Someone with a broken leg gets much more hugs than we, although our suffering is x times higher.

I also ask my wife sometimes if she wouldn't be better without me. It is sometimes only to get her safety.
She says that we will go through this BS together. But of course after 13 months, she would like having her old life back - with a happy, laughing, joking husband and father.
T is tough, T takes our best, T is a real test of our partnership.
I don't know where this all ends. It needs a lot of energy and will power going through this.
I hope for better times, but I do my very best every day making a good life for my family.

Don't count on your partner. If he is not strong enough going with you through this, it is not your fault.
You have a difficult battle to fight - until you reach habituation. You will reach it - with or without your partner. I am sure.
Hugs.

 

@Martin69

Thank you for your response.
Will you try the tibetan stuff? If you do will you post your results please?
Habituation - no I dont think so right now. Not in the circumstances here.
I do hope things improve for you and your wife soon.

 

So what should I order?
2x Agar 35 and 2x Bimala from Himalayan?

 

@Martin69

I'm not one to recommend pharma drugs but gabapentin (neurontin)
has helped me with anxiety@ 400 mg.

On the supplement side I recently used Cortisol Control and Natural Factors PS (phosphatidylserine)
takes the edge off and relaxes me when T is mounting. When full blown T not much cuts into it, but it helped a little.

Best wishes,
Larry

 

@Martin69

It is up to you naturally how much you buy. Practically you only save 3 dollars usa when buying more than one pack. So, on that basis, and if it was my choice, I would buy one pack of agar-35 and possibly one bag of bimhala, give it a go and if pleased with results (have been positive posts) then purchase a lot more.

 

Hello Martin! How are your wife and you doing?

 

@Stina
Hi Stina,
Thanks for asking. It is difficult to describe.
I can cope a little bit better with T, but it is still highly annoying.
It makes things so difficult to handle, like work for example. I have a high-demanding support job and having a dog whistle in the head does not make things easier. I could even retire (with 45), but what then? I like (most parts) of my job, but anxiety and depression is still there. So I am still fighting. I sometimes don't know if it is just T or my burnout/depression. I see the world as too much demanding in so many areas.
My wife got a special treatment with antibodies. She is the first one in Germany getting this (without chemo) and it works. The treatment has killed the cancer cells for the moment. But we don't know if a chemo will follow and if they will remove the breast anyway.
So we are still in the "eye of the storm". I see my T just very difficult to handle, like most here. It is so high-pitched and loud that I always hear it, whatever I do. I have moments, maybe sometimes minutes, where it is "tuned out" by my brain. So I hope that my brain declares it as harmless sooner or later.
How are you? Things are ok on your side?

 

I did lost some how frequencies just after I got T. Same day I got T i was able to hear up to 18400hz at age of 39. I always had great hearing. I always regret these tests as maybe those frequencies generated can screw your hearing and cause tinnitus? No my left can hear much less then right ear. Sucks. I am planning to to professional audio gram with higher frequencies.

 

Hey Martin,

My prayers are with you and your wife. Hang as tough as you can brother!

 

Martin, I feel your pain with T!

I'm going on my 9th month and feel the same as I did after I awoke the morning I was cursed with this demon. My mind wants It's perfect and peaceful life back! It wants those moments of silence where it can relax and concentrate on happy thoughts. It wants to be able to eat or drink anything it wants, without worrying about how it will affect the level of T noise. It wants to live a comfortable life without having something constantly lurking in the dark recesses, always at the ready to ruin another day.

Sometimes I feel like I'm driving a car without a steering wheel. Where am I headed and when will I crash?

However, I get up every morning and give it another go. I read the success stories of others and think someday I'll be there. It will take many more months perhaps? And yes, I feel like it's in a galaxy far, far away but hold out for hope or a cure. I know what it's like to suffer and sruggle everday with this and how close I've been to the abyss myself. Scary close! In those dark moments I just try to redirect my energies and hope God and time will get me closer to that goal of habituation.

Everyone here says we will get there eventually. Without this hope, we will fade into total despair. So just like me Martin, let's hold out for writing our own success stories one day! It may seem impossible to think of now, I know, but it will come brother! It will come! Hang on for it!

Sending out more prayers to you and your wife.

 

@Sailboardman
Thanks for the prayers my friend.
Yes, T sucks. When I read "Sarasota Florida", I think about the trip with my wife some years ago to Florida. Everglades, Key West, Sea World, Mickey Mouse, Naples, Miami Beach etc. We stayed in Swan & Dolphin hotel in Disney resort for one week and had breakfast with Goofy. What a great time without any health issues. All was great, life was great. My great dream was and still is going with my family (my kids are 7 and 12) to the States again in some years. For the moment, I cannot think about this. I even don't know if we are still alive then. But who knows this anyway?

T can be a real life-changer, in particular because of anxiety and depression (at least in my case).
Nevertheless, I try giving T no room. I just finished my workday and it was ok. T is osciallating in my head, but for today, I have cared a little bit less. At least my family should not have any limits.

Thoughts about never having silence again, that we are no longer 100% healthy and life is no longer peaceful and perfect, also creep up on me oftentimes. People (also therapists) tell me: "Hey, you just have to accept it". Wow, accept a dog whistle in your head, a noise people cannot stand even 5 seconds. But I believe that there will be the time when you HAVE to accept, if you want or not. And then, things turn around.

Yes, I am sure it takes more months. I have no longer panic attacks, my crazy high anxiety dropped. Tension and depression is more problematic at the moment. I have left the "fight or flight" mode more or less. Man, believe in habituation. This f... noise will not kill us. We will live with it and one day, it will disappear and we are the luckiest people on earth.

PS: BTW, since you said, you think about what you eat and drink. I don't have to look for this. My T does not react on any food, neither positive nor negative. So I eat and drink like before T onset.

 

@Martin69

I cry every time I see photos from our trip to USA just a year before tinnitus started.
Had a dream time in Disneyland, LA, New York!
We had dinner with Disney characters and it was awesome.
But now....it's all in the past

 

Don't try to stop enjoying your life because of T. I know it is easier said than done. I have been there. During the darkest time, I had trouble leaving my home with both T & H attacking and my anxiety and panic disorders sending me waves of panic. The body was so tired and stressed out it wanted just to stay put. I tried to go back fishing but even the noise of driving hurt and scared me. I also didn't know what my body would do to me if I just venture out. But no wait I would bow to T & H's tyranny. As I posted on my success story, I had to DARE my T & H to get out to do what I used to enjoy. I humanized T as that hated bully who wants who knock me on the ground begging for mercy. No wait. I fought back with whatever I got left in my tank. No more tip-toeing around this bully. I didn't know if I would enjoy going out, but at least I would win the psychological battle with T. It got easier with time. And before long, I got more confident that I could reclaim my life bit but bit. Don't give up living your life. You may have to wait for the time to start your 'Empire Strike Back', but don't give up hope you can beat this bully.

I have since learned backing down from these health bullies may give them too much power and fuel their tyranny. So with the recent reoccurrence of my anxiety and panic disorders (which I suffered for decades on and off prior to T & H), with the panic and anxiety symptoms quite strong and I was forced to take meds again, and with the prospect of suffering their tyranny for months and months like before, I said 'screw it'. It may sound silly, but I booked a cruise 2 weeks after the panic attacks while still heavily medicated with benzos and AD. I said give me freedom or give me whatever, lol. Finding joy amid the pain and living life abundantly to compensate or bury the sufferings, that is my new motto adopted after T & H. I even flew the long flight to Asia solo afterwards (kind of learning from Aaron after seeing all his trip photos, lol). Learning from CBT and mindfulness, I now learn to face these tyrants of my life instead of running, and they fade when I dare them. Not saying it is easy. It took me years to get there. Each person may take however long. But please don't give up hope that you will gather the strength to reclaim your life someday. Keep positive and try to enjoy life regardless, one day at a time, one event at a time. That is all you can do while waiting for time and your body to do the magic of healing and try not to stand in the way with painful resistance. My humble 2 cents.

 

@billie48
Your attitude is always impressing. And your encouraging words keep many here running.
I do agree that negative thoughts give T, H and other illnesses more power than they may deserve.
There are many moments where I see all my blessings around me and say to me: Good, that you didn't make anything stupid. And good that I am still here.
But then, a day later, negative thoughts creep up again: How great would the world be without this BS in my head?
And all the other difficult tasks life has prepared for us.
The primary goal for me is that I can become unaware of my T and overcome the limits it gives me.
It is still a fight, even after 15 months. It is not a fight against T (which you cannot win anyway). But a fight to live a so-called "normal life".
Member @Silvine writes great things here about habituation. I hope, this will also happen for a loud dog whistle in my head. It still puzzles me how a brain could "filter out" such a noise from awareness. But I remember it was possible for some minutes here and there. I don't know if it was maybe a little bit milder then.