Struggling to Live Life

I’ve had tinnitus for about 10 weeks now and I’m really having a hard time trying to cope. I think it’s from using earbuds daily for a few months. What makes it worse is that I had never used earbuds or headphones before then.

I also have ear pain in my left ear (the worst one), but it also hurts to the touch. I get shooting pains behind my right ear kind of where the jaw begins. My dentist thinks the ear pain on my left ear could be because of work I need done on my teeth. My wisdom teeth need to come out because they bug me and one is impacted and I also have a couple teeth on that side that are bugging me. I’m now even more deathly afraid of having the work done than I was before.

I’ve have not been to an ENT or audiologist yet because I don’t have insurance.

I’m a stay at home mom to 2 young children and I’m struggling to take care of them. They are on summer break and we should be out having fun and I’m barely functioning. I’m scared of making it worse. I watch them through the kitchen window while they jump on the trampoline in the backyard because I’m scared the yelling and screaming (from having fun) will mess my ears up even more.

This is taking away the one thing I care about most in this world- being with my kids. I’m never going to get this time back with them and I feel like a bad mom. It’s terrible. I cry all the time and I’m not sleeping because my brain won’t stop. I worry about missing important things with my kids, feel bad about not taking them to do all the fun stuff we normally do, worry about the future, etc.

Thinking about living with this for the rest of my life is killing me. I don’t know how I can do it. Living in fear is not something I can handle. I’m not going to lie I’ve thought about suicide and even looked up ways to do it that are least painful.

I know that my kids need me but I also know that they don’t deserve to see me like this. They worry about me and it’s not fair to them.

I don’t have any family or friends, so I’m all alone in this.

I just need help.

 

@Ash04 ,
Welcome to Tinnitus Talk.
Tinnitus can be hard at first and the unwanted emotions and lack of sleep.
We are here around the clock to support you so your not alone no more.
It could be just ear wax or allergies or sinus issues so try see your doctor whom can help you and check in your ears .
Have a chat to your children to use a quiet indoor voice if it helps.
Try stay calm or stress will make your sound feel louder.
You will get through this so keep posting for support and thank you for reaching out to us as there are so many lovely supportive members to help you.
love glynis

 

Ash04,
Wrap yourself with the blanket of love and care
Found here at the T Forum from those who share
It’s hard sometimes when the walls keep closing in
I pray you the strength to push them back again

Ash04, Give your children lots of hugs and kisses, they may not understand what your going through, but they do understand your love.
When I force myself to go outside, it always makes for a better day.
My heart is with you and your family
TinA#7oct

 

Actually I got my tinnitus from using a match to clean my wax. Yes silly thing to do and I suppose I knew I was playing with fire (no pun intended). I think I would have got it at same stage in my life due to lound music anyway.

ENT don't really help. I think the key is to distract yourself which is easier said then done. Mine is getting worse but when I am busy with work or hobbies I do not notice it even though it is really loud now. Just get busy and active it will help.

Stress can make it worse. I really hope you do manage for the sake of yourself and kids. It will get better at somepoint even though you may not see it yet as you are still fairly new.

You are not alone as you have the wonderful people from Tinnitus Talk.

 

Hi,

I am sorry that you are not feeling well. Since you have 2 kids, possibly have someone help you out, while taking care of them? Also, please do wear ear plugs when they are hyper and screaming, even I cannot tolerate the screaming of little children. Maybe a family member can help you out? If so, possibly get the people that are involved in your daily life and come up with a daily game plan, to help with your situation.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/i-have-tinnitus-now-what.29426/

Please read the post that I made above, it can be helpful.

An ENT can be helpful if you have pain in your ear(s)or and infection.

An audiologist, can be helpful to see how your hearing is and possibly offer a hearing aid that could be helpful.

As you already may know, do protect your ears from KNOWN loud sounds/spots (bars, live events, concerts).
Try to keep your stress low and just take it day by day. Tinnitus can be quite difficult and all of us have been through it.

This board and myself will always support you and those that suffer....

Be blessed

 

Be thankful you have kids. I got no kids and now if this Tinnitus doesn't go away I definitely wont have them. This is the kind of ailment that damages a person. I'm now damaged goods.

I also got the T from headphones, like you. I just got it in one long sitting and perhaps previous headphone use accumulated unnoticed.

 

i also got tinnitus from the headphones, was your headphones the cheap ones or quality ones?

 

@Ash04
Please don't feel guilty or blame yourself.
Try to accept tinnitus as part of your life.
Also, try to communicate with your kids and explain your situation to them.
Nobody wants to be in this situation. But, it is what it is.
So far, there is no real medicine to cure the T. Please try to habituate with it
and continue your life.