Tell Me it Ain't So

Yesterday I had my first counseling session with a lady who specializes in T. All I could hear from her is that I have to adapt my lifestyle give up things to accommodate T. Find new balance. But I can't do that. I have already gone through that process with my heart issues. Had to take a job with less stress, fewer hours, give up my ambitions. I am not able to run, walk long distances, swim or ride a bike, do any sports for that matter. My whole life these pas three years is about giving up things to adapt to a lifestyle with a heart condition. I did fine. I really did ok. I changed my eating habits, did only very healthy stuff, started yoga, regular physiotherapy, meditation, no drinking, early nights. All the sensible responsible stuff.

And then last year I had the surgery which was supposed to make me better but made me worse. Medication that gave me awful T an H. And now she tells me I might have to give up my job? I might have to be happy with only being ok a few hours each day. I can't do that. I just cannot. I want to be a good mother to my children, like I used to. I want to be able to take care of my family. I want to be a good friend and not just somebody who needs care all the time. I don't want to suffer the rest of my life. I'm done giving in and accommodating. I just can't take it. All I do is lie in bed and on the couch, dragging myself through every day. Counting hours before I can take my Remeron so I can finally sleep.

Tonight my youngest plays in a musical and I have to go there. I'm so proud of him, he has a leading role. I love him so. But I don't know how to do it. Next week my children and my husband are going away on holiday without me. I can't come. I'm too tired and too sick.

Please, please, please, tell me this will get better and I will be able to live my life again.

 

I'm going to leave TT for a while. I don't know what it is that keeps me coming here but I think its an obsession and I want it to stop. Because I scare myself by reading all your stories and I probably scare some people myself. So bye for now. I which you all the best.

 

I hope you come back if need support with friends who understand.
I know what it's like on holiday as I have time out in the hotel while my hubby goes looking around sometimes and need to rest up with my breathing being bad.
Stay positive and focus on the things you can do and put no pressure on yourself .
I'm sure you can find relaxing things to do with your children and love and cuddle them too....lots of love glynis

 

Good luck hartje, I hope you manage to find some relief somehow sooner or later!

 

Take care hartje, it was nice talking to you....and please do come back. Thanks, Mita

 

It is possible to get better. It is affirmative. Focus on the positive side of life. You can pull through this. Your T is still very new and your nerves are highly affected by the trauma of your T reaction. Give it time. T is irritable but not an end game. You can see that in all the success stories. Most posters suffered a lot initially but given time and with some help and support from others they do get better. You can be like them. Again, come back when you are ready and just read the positive stuffs in the stories. Take care. God bless.