Terrified. Please help.

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by kevin89carolina, Apr 22, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      I'm 24 years old and have had a mild case of tinnitus for as long as I can remember. Recently, 3 weeks ago exactly I fire a handgun without hearing protection, twice. So, so stupid. Immediately my ears rang, but the ringing faded after a couple of seconds. The rest of the day my hearing was off and I was freaking out.

      I saw my ENT that week who did a hearing test. Everything looked normal. My tinnitus was loud, but I was more concerned about my hearing loss.

      A couple days later, my tinnitus got louder. A very loud high pitched frequency hissing in my head. I immediately went back to my ENT who prescribed me prednisone for 9 days. It didn't really seem to do a whole lot. Then here's where I officially lost it..

      Last Friday, after constantly checking my ears and trying to adapt. I noticed a morse code type beeping in my left ear. Very fast beep beep bee bee be be beep beeep be be be beep beep be beep. And it's only gotten louder. I can hear it over EVERYTHING. Nothing masks it and I am terrified beyond belief. It seems to get louder with music. I can hear it in the shower, in the car, over the tv, over the loud fans, at work, everywhere.

      Has anybody ever dealt with at morse code type tinnitus and has it ever gotten better? I've scheduled another appointment with my ENT, who won't do anything, a cranialsacral message therapist, and also another audiologist. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I've cried my eyes out the last 3 nights. My life seems over and I cannot escape the noise. It would be different if it was just a constant high pitched tone, but the beeping is driving me mad. Please, can anybody offer me some support and help
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    2. cullenbohannon
      Thinking

      cullenbohannon Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      Hey kevin sorry your feeling so bad but things will get better. One thing I can say is when my t was at is worst I had the Morse code rining along with other sounds. The Morse code sounds has died down over the months sometimes it comes back. I also have a bit of reactive t that is quite hard to mask but it doesn't really bother me much any more. Read Dr.Naglers letter to a tinnitus sufferer it's a good first place to start. And all I can say is things will get better if you continue to feel anxious and depressed see a doctor. There are meds that help a great deal with them.
       
    3. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      The thing is, I just tapered off of Klonopin, a benzo that's supposed to "help" tinnitus. I have terrible anxiety and I was on it for panic attacks. It gave me terrible headaches so I got off of it. I suffered through 8 months of withdrawal, and then this happened.

      The beeping is so loud and so high pitched, honest to God it sounds like someone is very very quickly pushing buttons on a microwave. How is that sound even possible?!

      What did your morse code tinnitus sound like? And how long did it take for it to lessen?




       
    4. cullenbohannon
      Thinking

      cullenbohannon Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      The Morse code was just kind of beeping and almost taking the form of sounds around me. Took about 2 months to start to decrease. Kevin is it possible that when you were tapering you were still anxious about your t and that's why you had a hard time?
       
    5. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Sorry that you are suffering badly Kevin and welcome to the board. I don't have the same type of T as you, but there are members here with pulsatile T which may be closer to your T. If you like you can visit the Pulsatile Tinnitus forum, with Karen being a notable member who have PT and are now better. Perhaps she can help you.

      I have been around support forums for 5 years now and have read about many different types of T. Some even have ghost music in the ears besides the varying tone and it came on & off without control. Go figure. In general though, after the initial struggle, these folks slowly got used to the pattern of ringing. The freshness of the sensation is hurting you right now. If you are really stressed out, make sure you consult with your doctor to see if you may need anti-anxiety drugs, anti-depressants, or sleeping pills to help you calm down & get some sleep. You need something to calm your nerves and cut off the edges of mental suffering now. Take care.
       
    6. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Hi, Kevin,

      I'm so sorry you're having all these problems, and understand what you must be going through right now. I had mild tinnitus for many years, too, and mine got suddenly worse after taking a blood pressure drug. I had very loud ringing, plus pulsating (heartbeat sound), and I was very frightened. Like you, I went to an ENT for testing, etc., and he indicated he could not help me, so he sent me to a specialist (a neurotologist), who gave me steroids and nasal spray and suggested using a neti-pot to clear my sinuses. All that was almost four years ago, and since then, my tinnitus has calmed down quite a bit.

      I'm glad you have another appointment with the ENT; however, if he is unable to help you, I would suggest going to an audiologist. Sometimes they have a better idea of how to deal with tinnitus sufferers than ENT's, and may be able to offer you some suggestions on how to get some relief.

      I don't have the morse code noise exactly, but I do have the hissing sound. From my experience, at least, your tinnitus may calm down on its own in a few weeks. It may be that your ear suffered a sort of trauma, and that it will settle down after the initial shock/adjustment to this new level of tinnitus.

      There is a doctor on our forum, Dr. Nagler, who may be able to offer some additional insight or give you some suggestions. I wish you well, and send caring thoughts your way. I'm sure others will want to chime in here to add their thoughts and suggestions.

      Best wishes and hugs,
      Karen
       
      • Like Like x 1
    7. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      Hi Kevin--try to calm down. I know it's hard but try to take some deep breaths through your nose and exhale through your mouth slowly. It will help you to get calmer. Cullen is absolutely right and things will get better. They have gotten better for me since I came here in December. See a doctor and get some sleep meds if you're not sleeping. You can escape the noise--I said the same as you, that I couldn't escape--but I escape it in my sleep. It is a good respite. Now, I have quieter days and you will too. Anxiety feeds T so that's why it's important to calm oneself and get some sleep.

      You will be okay. Really.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    8. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      No, tinnitus wasn't even on my mind. I was tapering because of the effects the drug was doing to my body. No tinnitus at all. I've had a mild case for a long time, but got over it. I battled sever withdrawal (dizziness, boat feelings, seizure like feelings) you name it. Then I finally started to feel better about 3 weeks ago. Went and fired that damn hand gun, then BAM! 10/10 Tinnitus like I've never experience before. I didn't even know morse code tinnitus was possible.

      It's driving me mad. And that's interesting that you mention your morse code beeping was taking the form of other sounds. I notice that mine gets more high pitched when I'm in the car and listening to music. I felt like today when I was outside that it was mimicking the chirping birds around me. I felt like I could hear them when I went inside. Odd.
      Was your morse code beeping very fast like mine?


       
    9. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      I truly don't know how anybody can get used to hearing this extremely fast beeping. I'm not sure if it's even considered PT. It's much too fast.

      The really sad thing is, I just got off of anxiety meds because of what they did to my body. Benzo's in particular. So that's not an option. I went through hell getting off of those. I'm really really scared though. I'm calm, but terrified. This morse code beeping noise is going to drive me mad. It's so, so loud.




       
    10. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      Thanks Karen. I just don't know how I'm going to get used to his morse code beeping. It's so loud and so fast. How do I get in touch with Dr. Nagler? I just need to know if there's anything I can do, or if this type of tinnitus will eventually fade. It's absolutely unbearable.



       
    11. Littlebailey

      Littlebailey Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2014
      Kevin, listen to the wise veterans on this board who've been through similar episodes. I can't say from personal experience, but from what I've read from others about their tough times and moments, it can and will pass, as awful as it might be at the moment. Stay strong, keep the faith, and don't be afraid to come to the board for the moral support. This place has it in spades.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Agree Agree x 1
    12. II Packy II
      Doubtful

      II Packy II Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2012
      I'm experiencing something similar with the sort of reactive noise you're experiencing. Mine however is as if when hearing certain people or noises, my right ear rings responsively. Also bass feels like its punching the literal fuck out of my ear. As a result, I get sort of a distorted, peanuts (Charlie Brown) teacher noise distortion.
       
    13. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Hi, @kevin89carolina,

      To get in touch with Dr. Nagler, go to the bottom of the main page of this forum, to "Doctor's Corner". There, you can post a message or question to Dr. Nagler. He has been really good about answering people's questions, and making comments. He is a believer in TRT (tinnitus retraining therapy), and may have suggestions for you.

      I'm sure you're having a rough time right now with the horrible morse-code type beeping. I believe there is a good chance it will slowly settle down for you; it's especially important for you to not panic too much. It seems that panicking makes tinnitus even worse. Try to relax and distract yourself as much as possible.

      I noticed that you also posted under "Support", and mentioned that you were getting off Klonopin. My worsened tinnitus also occurred right after I got off a blood pressure drug, so maybe there's a connection there. Maybe yours was a combination of your already being vulnerable, and then having the loud noise go off close to you, that set it off. Could that be a possibility? Your ears were already somewhat sensitive since you already had mild tinnitus.

      Remember, if you don't get any answers from your ENT, try going to an audiologist. They may have some good ideas of things you can try, such as a tinnitus masker or other innovations.

      Good luck, and keep us posted on how you're doing. Please don't give up; I believe things will get better for you!!

      Karen
       
      • Like Like x 1
    14. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      There's no giving up in me, Karen. I've been through hell with the benzo withdrawal, and perhaps you're right with my ears being so sensitive and then the gunshot just absolutely crushed them. I so hope the beeping settles down somewhat. It's just too loud and fast too try to ignore. Imagine somebody pressing the buttons on a microwaveable oven as fast as they can in your left ear. Almost like a whistling teapot with super fast whistles.

      I'm going to try CranialSacral Therapy. I hear it's good with calming your nerves and hopefully turning down the tinnitus but who knows. I'll update every time I see somebody. I'll try to talk to Dr. Nagler and see if there's anything he can offer me. Thank you




       
    15. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      @kevin89carolina ,

      Yes, it does sound pretty horrible. I'm glad you're a fighter, and not willing to give up. Maybe the cranio-sacral therapy will work for you. I hope so!!

      Take care, and try to get some sleep tonight. (P.S. -- I'm in the U.S., too, in Georgia).

      Best wishes,
      Karen
       
      • Like Like x 1
    16. jazz
      No Mood

      jazz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      eardrum rupture from virus; barotrauma from ETD
      @kevin89carolina I thought you had typewriter tinnitus, but I see it was from noise exposure.
       
    17. here2help

      here2help Member

      Kevin, I’m glad you had your hearing tested and it is normal.

      The sound you are describing, a very fast Morse code beeping sound that is exacerbated when the auditory system is exposed to continuous external sound (e.g., music, shower, fan, driving, TV) is very familiar to me. Mine was very low-pitched, as if the world’s fastest, most repetitive bass player had taken up residence in my head. Like you, I found it terrifying. Like you, nothing masked it and background sound that would have partially masked tinnitus only served to make the beeping sound much more prevalent.

      While I'm not 100% certain, I don’t think you are describing tinnitus. There is a tiny muscle in the ear called the tensor tympani. This muscle serves to protect the auditory system from very loud sound. When it does its job a little too well, it can engage when we are exposed to normal sound (as opposed to only engaging around loud sound). It is possible that this muscle is working overtime in your case because you recently fired a handgun without wearing hearing protection, noticed a difference in your tinnitus, were very concerned about its impact on your hearing, and still feel a lot of self-blame and anxiety about it.

      It will stop and there are things you can do to help it along.

      First, if you drink caffeine, cut it completely out of your diet for three weeks. That and a little reassurance have been known to work very well.

      Second, consider canceling your appointments with the craniosacral massage therapist and the follow=up appointment with your ENT. You were very wise to have your hearing checked, but going forward, these other appointments will probably serve to keep you more engaged with talking about, worrying about, and monitoring the Morse Code sound. I would not use a masker as it will probably make you more, not less aware of the sound.

      Third, as best you can, try to give yourself a break for firing the handgun without wearing hearing protection. We’re human, and we all do things we regret from time to time.

      here2help
       
      • Like Like x 1
    18. cullenbohannon
      Thinking

      cullenbohannon Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      Hey kev. Yea mine was very fast would go and come back now it's usually gone but when I do have it it doesn't bother me as it once did

       
    19. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      Saw an ENT today.

      First off, the audiologist checked my hearing again as well as the celia in my cochlea. Everything looked really good and normal. But when I saw the ENT, it was all downhill from there...

      He was pretty cut and dry. Said there's nothing he can do to help me and as long as I walk on this earth for the rest of my life I better have hearing protection because it's only going to get worse over time. Boy, did that feel good to hear. Didn't offer me any type of solution or therapy, nothing. Didn't even wish me luck or say goodbye.

      He scheduled an MRI for next Tuesday, just to make sure there's no vascular compression. He said I seriously doubt it's that and you'd just be wasting your money, but we can do it if you want. So of course I said yes, because what else am I going to do?!

      So here I am, feeling really hopeless. If the morse code beeping sound would just die down somewhat where I don't notice it over everything, and could only hear it at night or in silence then I would be fine. But hearing it everywhere over everything is so frustrating and stressful. Really hope it gets better over time.

      Does anybody know why I hear it over EVERYTHING? Why does it seem to get louder whenever I make things try to mask it? It gets louder when the radio is on. Usually you can mask tinnitus, but this doesn't seem to be mask-able. I can even hear it when I have headphones on and when I'm in the shower. Need some encouragement.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    20. Mr. Cartman
      Artistic

      Mr. Cartman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Hi Kevin.

      I just want you to let you know that I have pretty much the exact same T as you have. I got it from a bomb blast.

      What I have noticed is that it keeps getting better.

      I had pretty bad H which is pretty much gone. My T is improving every week.
      In the beginning all sounds was distorted and muffled, and my ears literally hurt, but that is also 90% gone.

      Also remember that trauma to the ear can sit for a very long time, months to a couple of years.

      A research I read about (dont remember source) was looking at the recovery process for structural damage to the cochlea in mice or rats. They found that even after 6 months, the ear is still recovering and there is still a chance for a full recovery.

      A post I read written by a doc also said that nerves might use 8 - 9 months to repair themselves if possibe.

      When I visited an ENT my adiogram was fine as well, but most likely the sound we hear is because of some parts that process sounds has become overactive, and that they might settle down in time he said.

      A friend of mine blasted some kind of a pressure tool next to his ear, and his ear rang for almost a year and it went away completely.

      So what your ENT is telling you about your T getting worse and worse is just not adding up according to my own experience and a lot of others.

      And while T might improve, we are also habituating to it in the meanwhile.

      Stay strong! It will get better!

      Best wishes :)

       
      • Like Like x 3
    21. cullenbohannon
      Thinking

      cullenbohannon Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      Kev it's ridiculous for your ent to say it will get worse. Most people don't my dad has had it 20+ years. Never got worse. Most people t settles down. Of course it's important to protect your ears but your ent
      Sounds like he needs to learn a thing or two about t. I think it's important to see one who has experience in t.
       
    22. jazz
      No Mood

      jazz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      eardrum rupture from virus; barotrauma from ETD
      Very insensitive. But it's not necessarily true that tinnitus gets worse over time. I know one guy who has had it for over 40 years (he's in his 60s), and it's been very low for most of that time. And it's still very low. So no worry. Once you get habituated, you'll be fine. But you'll need to protect your ears with plugs when you go to the movies or concerts. That's true.

      About why you hear the noise over everything, I'd imagine it's because your tinnitus is very high. Over time, the volume of your tinnitus will fade. Even if it stays high, you'll have to struggle to hear it. That's called habituation.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    23. MikeA
      Curious

      MikeA Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1992
      Kevin, a couple things. If you do have an MRI done be sure they provide good hearing protection. Ear plugs + ear muffs. Those machines can be a bit noisy. Also, if possible, try to see a good psychologist, at least for a while. Get a recommendation from a trusted source. Lastly, as others have pointed out, while you may have T for some time, what you are experiencing now may resolve to a degree. I won't pretend to know what you're going through right now, as my T has been fairly mild for many years. Do know that people here care about your recent struggle. Hang tough brother.
       
      • Like Like x 2
    24. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      Thanks for the reply here2help

      No matter what anybody tells me, I just feel like I'm going to hear this forever. It's so hard to think positive. That constant extremely fast high pitched beep beep bbbb b b bb bb b b bbb bbbbb bbb beep bbb b b b bb b in my left year is just hard to get my mind off of. It stays the exact same speed no matter what I'm doing.

      I had the hearing test done in the sound proof room with no sound and could still hear it. But it does seem to get louder whenever I'm around natural noise. So frustrating. My hearing is so sensitive too. Everything around me makes me cringe and want to press the mute button on life. It's not that my hearing sounds distorted, it's just that everything is just too loud for me right now and I'm scared it's going to make my tinnitus worse.

      I'm hoping to God, after a couple weeks or months that it lessens. I can deal with it in the quiet, but hearing it everywhere everyday is just too much. I'm going to finish all of my appointments for this week, just to see if it'll help. I feel like the massage might calm my nerves somewhat. We'll see. Every instinct in my body just wants to rip this sound out of my head, and it's such a hopeless feeling when you know you can't do anything to help it.

      And there will be no shooting from me for a long, long time. I'm a hunter, and I'm considering quitting hunting due to the fear of damaging my hearing even more WITH ear protection. If this morse code beeping would quiet somewhat, it would do wonders.



       
    25. Dr. Nagler

      Dr. Nagler Member

      Location:
      Atlanta, Georgia USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1994
      Hi @kevin89carolina -

      You've gotten some excellent advice here on the Support forum. So much so that I'm not going to respond to the same question you posed on the Doctors' Corner. No need at this point - there's little that I can add.

      I do think that the Morse code notes you are hearing are the result of your brain turning up its own gain as it tries to puzzle things out. You are really in a state of high alert. As you begin to habituate, the Morse code stuff will likely settle down.

      You might talk to your audiologist and/or ENT about trying to locate somebody in your geographical vicinity with expertise and interest in tinnitus. Most ENTs and audiologists really have little interest in treating tinnitus sufferers, but they generally have some idea of those clinicians in the area who are fairly good at it. What's the nearest large town to your home? Perhaps I might know of somebody.

      Best to you -

      Stephen Nagler
       
    26. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      Thanks for the reply man.

      What exactly does your tinnitus sound like? I ask because I cling to positivity at the moment, because this sound is just dragging me down. Mine just sounds like a super fast stop watch that just beeps and beeps as fast as it can go or someone pressing the buttons on a microwave as fast as they can. Not exactly the same sound, but close. Such an annoying sound to listen to all day. Impossible to ignore. I've got the tv on as well as a cricket/outdoor sound machine on and I can still hear it over that.

      Your post gave me a sense of hope. I just hope it gets better over time man. It's been 3 1/2 weeks. Didn't notice the beeping sound until 5 days ago, but that's all I hear now. Hoping that my tinnitus or hearing turned into that.

      So I'm just going to stay as positive as I can. But hearing that all day everyday is driving me mad. I wouldn't mind it in the quiet or at night, but hearing it over everything is too much.




       
    27. nills
      Barefooter

      nills Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Belgium
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      I think all tinnitus is morsecode but you percieve it most of the time as a consistent tone just because the brain makes you interpret it like this... I know for sure mine is morse code sort of like crickets. that is because the neurons arn`t excited constant, they firing at a hight frequency rate ... so there is firinging, release, fire, release, fire ... but its so fast that most people don`t percieve it.
       
    28. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      Thanks Steve.

      Like I've told others on here. If I only heard the extremely fast beeping in my left ear in the quiet or at night, it wouldn't bother me too much. But hearing it over everything is just too much. It's like a very fast stop watch beeping and beeping or someone pressing the buttons on a microwave as fast as they can. Not the exact same sound, but close. Beep beep be bbbb b b b b bbb b bb b b b bb b bbb b bbb. So frustrating.

      I know my nerves and hearing are on high alert. Everything I hear is just too sensitive to my ears right now. I cringe when I usually wouldn't. My hearing doesn't sound distorted, but everything is just a little too loud.

      Also, I damaged my ears 3 1/2 weeks ago and developed the tinnitus. But I didn't hear the beeping until 5 days ago. Mind you I was constantly obsessing over my hearing and listening to it when I found it. But since then it's the ONLY thing that I can hear now and that's because it's gotten louder. At first it wasn't too noticeable unless I closed my ears with my fingers, but now I hear it over everything.

      Thank you for taking the time to read this and help me. Hoping to find somebody around the area who can help. I live near Charlotte, NC.




       
    29. kevin89carolina

      kevin89carolina Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 30, 2014
      Thanks for the reply nills.

      I hear a couple of different things. I also have a high pitched hissing in both ears as well as a very sharp high pitched ringing in my right. But the morse code one in my left is very distinct and 'staccato' like. It's not a constant tone. The same sound, but separated by beeps. Morse code is the best way I can explain it. Like someone pushing the buttons on a microwave as fast as they can. All I can picture in my head is someone pressing the buttons on a morse code machine in my left ear. So bizarre and annoying.


       
    30. nills
      Barefooter

      nills Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Belgium
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      do you feel a fullness in your eardrum? like a tension ... it also might be that from the blast your eardrum contracted and is inflamted or still in it`s tension and there is a tension release going on there ... something is doing something and letting go ... else there couldn`t be the morsecode thing going on, it might be together with your heart rate, or the eardrum or the neurons. maybe ask your ent if a pressure chamber would be good for you, I think it will.
       

Share This Page

Loading...
If you have ringing ears then you've come to the right place. We are a friendly tinnitus support board, dedicated to helping you discuss and understand what tinnitus treatments may work for you.