I struggle enough as it is after 3 and a half months. I keep talking to my girlfriend who I'm in a long term relationship with, about growing old together. I worry it will get too much for me to cope when I get older. It feels close to that already. I keep feeling happy one minute then realise the T and feel instantly awful again. If it stays like this I'm sure I can cope, but I read it can get seriously bad after 50 years old or so and will continue to slowly deteriorate in the mean time. There's so many brave people on here, but I'm so weak in a psychological way, it's so frustrating. I hate being alone at the moment and I always get butterflies on the way home from work if I have to be alone, and every night before bed as I know I have to try and sleep with the siren in my head. Sorry, I just had to get this out. I know I need help but I've just started a new job so I can't take time off work. They don't even know about my T and H yet.