The Lessening Effect

I've had a pretty good run of days, lately!

I'm not gonna post in "Success Stories" just yet, though I feel some success here. But I'm a writer/details person and when I do that one, I want it to be really well-written in a way that does the most good to whoever reads it. Also, I feel that I have more "successing" to go along this path, so I'm not ready for that particular thread.

That said, I've had a run of pretty good days lately! I've been dealing with this for months, had the typical freak-out/break-down reactions for several of those months, kept food logs, sound logs, log logs etc. (I'm a little logy, a little logical, and ... a writer! I LIKE to write things down!). I was searching, like all of us, for CLUES. Fixes. Etc.

I had to go through that. I had to do that in order to come to a place where I do NOT have to do that.

But anyway, to get to the point ... lately I've had a pretty good run of days.

The tinnitus I've experienced since the beginning I would categorize in the mild/moderate range, gradually (but not CONSISTENTLY) getting more toward the mild. By mild, I do NOT mean "Lah-dee-dah-I-am-OH-so-happy!-This-is-nothing-more-than-a-fly-at-my-picnic" mild. By "mild," I mean: This freaking SUCKS. Disturbs my peace. Hurts my heart. I never had this and now I do and this ROTS. THAT kind of "mild." The kind of "mild" that drives a peace-and-quiet-loving soul to take up residence with a purple snail icon on a tinnitus forum (my other hobbies are more scintillating!).

But anyway, I know that I have it "mildly" in comparison to some of the others here whose stories I have been sad to read.

Why do I think I've had this run of better days? Well, THAT'S the POINT that I've been getting to, and why I decided to post THIS today. I couldn't have HAD these better days without a lot of things falling into place, with regards to the psychological responses that can help tinnitus fade a bit into a corner.

Here's what I hope can be of help to anyone here who is still, like me, walking that daily walk on the hopeful way to a better place with this malady: Calm down.

I've been a doer/striver/overthinker/hyperthinker forever. I plan to continue to be because it's related to a lot of the best of who I am.

BUT. Tinnitus, in how it's made me have to calm myself, has been a good instructor in FINALLY after all these years of living with a "high tolerance for stress and tension" made me ... STOP. Really look at myself. And ... STOP tolerating the stress and tension.

Instead of just sloughing off all that advice you read about "slowing down, taking a few deep breaths," I have actually ... SLOWED DOWN. Really learned how to breathe and get good calmness in my physical body from that.

TWO: Sleep gets priority.

THREE: Hydration. Just do it. Drink the water. It doesn't cure tinnitus, but it DOES take good care of your body. You need a well-cared for body if you are going to improve ANYTHING in life. There comes a stage (most of your life) when you no longer have the "I can eat a bag of cookies for dinner and an ice pop for dessert and be just fine" nine-year-old bodily constitution. Accept that. And sooooo ...

FOUR: Eat well. It helps enormously.

FIVE: ALLOW YOURSELF TO REST. During the day. At night. Accept one less invitation and stay home when you need to. ***Just give your mind and body and soul and psyche some BREATHING ROOM!!! There is no race to the finish line in life. You are going to die at some point. That day you will have a to-do list too! And it won't matter. So start today and stop bugging yourself with excess mental stress and worry. It doesn't help.

SIX: I have watched lots of youtube clips of people who have helped me to really be in the now. Eckhart Tolle. Ram Dass. Marianne Williamson. Carolyn Myss. Others. Some will resonate with you more than others. But find some calming philosophies and pour them into yourself. Until one day, you find yourself in a stressful predicament and you begin to realize ... here is the chance to re-structure your reaction/to change your response/to slow down and breathe. And then you find yourself gradually becoming less and less stressed and anxious, even though you may have the same amount of challenging situations in your life. Because YOU begin to change. And people (YOU) CAN change. It is built into the human experience that we can learn and grow. So by practicing this stuff, in little bits and pieces, calmly, without imposing a "sudden results" expectation on yourself, one day you'll find you've reached a "critical mass" and the calmness response will just seem to come more naturally.

And I think THAT'S what's happened to me the past few weeks. I just feel that something is settling. And so even though the tinnitus is present, it also recedes down to about 5-10% strength at times, and I am not attached to latching onto that and freaking out about how to "get it to stay." I am just ... breathing.

One more thing: This is so crucial and it works: The other day, I had a bit of an upswing in the tinnitus and the rear head buzzing feeling. It was early in the day and I was more rattled/upset by it. Suddenly, I was called to message back and forth with someone online, and the conversation went on for quite a while. I was giving and taking with someone in a thoroughly engaged way, and when that conversation was done, the tinnitus had gone waaaaaaaay down again, and the rest of the day was peaceful bliss.

I have no science to back this up, though I am certain it is true, and it is my truth, anyway, so I'll state it here for whoever wants/needs to think it this way: I believe that being super-engaged in a really pleasurable creative activity OR in a very caring/giving/helping activity for others actually reinforces and builds neuronal connections in your brain that can act in a tinnitus-suppressive manner.

Again, I don't state that as hard science. But I do believe that, more and more, when I find myself irritated by the tinnitus (which I continue to experience), I can actively and masterfully bring it down by simply walking into OTHER rooms in the "house of my mind," the rooms of creativity and helpfulness, and then the tinnitus just backs down into a forgotten state in a corner.

And one day, I expect to leave the back door unlocked so it is free to just wander away, unattended. <<-- That's the image I'm giving it.

(Oh, and one more thing! I will NEVER call this "my" tinnitus. And that's not a game of semantics for me. It's as close-to-the-marrow crucial as any significant belief or life philosophy I hold dear. I will say things like "the tinnitus I experience" or "this tinnitus." But I simply refuse to adopt it and call it "mine." This is just me sharing what works for me. But I like the idea of not empowering something that I consider to be so VERY UNrelated to who I am. Again, it may seem like mere semantics, so if it doesn't impact you to call it "my tinnitus," that's fine. It WOULD impact me if I did that. I think that words are blessed symbols for all that happens to us, around us, IS us. They're what we use to tell all our human stories.)

Okay, that WAS long. I hope this is helpful to whoever it's meant to resonate with. I have great care for the members of this forum and wish for everyone to be as successful as possible in mitigating the effects of this.

 

@Path Maker Love, Love, Love your post. As I was reading this, the #&@* storm in my head, calmed down. I think I became more relaxed. I've been working myself up all day and its been out of control. I don't know what it was, but it has settled down now. Thank you for that and the reminder to slow down. I wish the rest of the world would take a hint on this need.

 

@Ears Hurt I'm so glad for you! And thank you for letting me know. I have been helped so much on this forum from many of the supportive posts, just when I needed them. We're all in this human family together. I'm glad you feel better today, and wishing you more and more in the future. <3

 

Your post could help someone with mild tinnitus, or a hypochondriac, maybe.
Anyone else... Well, who am I to say.

 

@undecided I wrote it to help whoever it can help.

"Hypochondriac' is not a situation I see referred to in the post.

Peace.

 

OK, I must admit that the first time I didn't read your entire post and stopped at:

Now, I pushed myself to go further but I just managed past:

Sorry. I really,really don't want to be rude but you don't even know the half of it.

 

@undecided I keep it very peaceful here and everywhere. And I can't know the half of ANYONE'S suffering. So that's why I started it off saying that what I've experienced is mild/moderate (please note the presence of that "moderate"). And also included this line: "But anyway, I know that I have it "mildly" in comparison to some of the others here whose stories I have been sad to read."

So I did not at all post this to make it a comparison piece against those who suffer in the extremes.

But ... I suffer too. So do those in the "mild" ranges. Can't Tinnitus Talk be a place for help to be offered to the people who experience it, in whatever range they have it in?

If a person loses one leg, can't they get help, without it meaning that they are less worthy of help than the person who loses two legs and "has it worse"?

A lot of this kind of infighting occurs on this forum (and out in the world, in general). That in itself is sad.

Can't we just all use our energies to help each other, and if something doesn't resonate with us or our situation, just let it be?

I really DO mean, "Peace." And without knowing even a tenth of what you suffer, I really do send good wishes, even though they can't cure you.

Okay?

 

I am not a mild sufferer. I used to be when it first started. I wish I could go back there daily. I would only hear in silence. Now, I can hear it over lots of sounds. It's even reactive where it competes for attention over my attempts to mask. I hate it because it is there vibrating my head from morning til night. I don't only hear it; I feel it. I am actually mad some mornings cause I wish I don't wake up some days. Today was one of those days. It's been terrible all day, but reading this calmed it down a bit. Maybe it helped me relax and forget a bit. Whatever it was I welcome it.

 

@Ears Hurt Not to put pressure on yourself, but it really is true that our mind/mindset can have a great influence on our physical state. That doesn't mean that a person can force or "make" tinnitus stop on command (that actually would INCREASE inner stress by "trying too hard" - the old Catch-22). But you know how, when there is five minutes left before you have to do something unpleasant (like, go back to a job you dislike, for example, on a Monday morning) and five minutes left before you get to do something you look forward to (like, punch out and go home for the weekend), that SAME EXACT FIVE MINUTES has your mind/body feeling differently? It's not because of the external situation so much as it's because of what you are telling your mind/body about the situation. So maybe starting your own self-designed relaxation/pleasure program could help give you even a partial kind of bettering/relief? I hope so! <3

 

@undecided

If you think none of this can help you, thats okay.
No need to come here and leave negative comments.
this is a support forum, if you disaggree why dont you make a post with your own personal advices instead.
this is what has helped the OP, we should be greateful that someone takes their time to share a little bit of their success.

 

I guess if I was to summarize the book I wrote above I would quote this:

I have no science to back this up, though I am certain it is true, and it is my truth, anyway, so I'll state it here for whoever wants/needs to think it this way: I believe that being super-engaged in a really pleasurable creative activity OR in a very caring/giving/helping activity for others actually reinforces and builds neuronal connections in your brain that can act in a tinnitus-suppressive manner.

Because this is what has worked for me the most consistently of anything, from the very start.

 

I think my point was crystal clear.
I never said this won't help anyone, where did you get that? I actually think this post is quite helpful.
This could help mild tinnitus sufferers (like, I put my head on the pillow and it's there) and hypochondriacs.
End of story.

And I have made a post "with my personal advices" probably before you were a member of this forum so it comes to reason you missed it.
Oh, and it's in the proper forum category too!

 

"some times a great wave of forgetfulness rises up and blesses me; other times the sickness howls and I despair of any remedy"

Prowl Great Cain - The Mountain Goats

 

Hope whoever needs to read this for whatever reason, does. Over and out.

 

This is exactly what I learned way back from Paul Tobey when I was a T greenie. He was a featured speaker promoted by ATA some time back. He taught others how to cope with T and win the battle after he had suffered badly and then got better a few years later. He didn't have mild T. His T was so bad he had to stop performing piano as he was a concert pianist. He was suffering so bad he had to go around the world looking for T solution. He had to use meds and what have Us to survive. Until one day his wife set an ultimatum of sort for him to stop catering his life all around T. He has since found that by engaging himself in the effort to perform at Carnegie Hall, the mecca of concert pianist and their ultimate dream performing it solo there, that he has found a surprising relief from the T tyranny. The all out effort to prepare for such an important event and the total dedication of his mind to it has caused his brain to ignore T at times. When he discovered the miraculous effect, he was even more engaged on his activity and slowly the intensity of his T faded and he has then found a way to cope with T and eventually beating its tyranny on him. This is just a brief introduction of his tinnitus struggle and his eventual triumph over the T tyranny. He calls it 'My Choice' and it is still featured on the ATA site:

http://www.ata.org/sites/default/files/my_choice_concert_pianist_personal_story_tobey_june_06.pdf

 

@billie48 I just read the link above about Paul. Very inspiring! Thanks for posting it.