The Positivity Thread

Very positive post, linearb. Yes, I agree. Life is good. It is important to keep a positive stance in living with T. It wants our attention like mine does most every morning waking up with it screaming. But I have learned that we can keep living and do our things regardless of T. We don't have snow now in Vancouver, just rain & rain. When there was a little break in the rainy weather, I worked on my garden to get the spring planting ready. It is nice to get the balcony loaded with floral beauty. Also planted some peas and onion all on compost. I like organic gardening. Those fresh produce from the garden taste so much better. Can't wait to see the seeds sprout and watch the plants grow as well as the flowers blooming. In a few months, they will be ready and I attach a few pictures here from last season.That is the rhythm of the season.

And the other day I held a birthday dinner for my youngest daughter. It is so nice to see her big smile while every one is offering her hug and greeting. I learn not to let T interfere with our family life. Also as a sport fan, NHL playoff as well as NCAA March Madness will be something to look forward to. My favourite will be the Canucks of course, and Kentucky to win the Final Four. We need to keep engaged in what we like to do before T. Sport and fishing are something I used to enjoy a lot before T. So now, it is back to the old days. T can take a back seat.

Also, it is still steelhead fishing season in Vancouver. I headed out fishing for the mighty steelhead trout. It is an ocean going trout and when they return from the ocean after a few years, they can grow up to 10 to 20 lbs. These are hatchery bred fish but they migrate to the ocean as a smolt. After a few years they come back as full grown fish and we recreational fishermen can test our skill on catching one. Very hard to catch and land one indeed. I have 2 fish in a dozen trips so far. But luck was on me that day and I got this fish for the family to enjoy. Life can still be good regardless of T high or low. T can go to hell while I continue to enjoy my life abundantly and positively to bury T and its suffering (if any).

 

I watched the movie Detriot Rock City with my 9 year old daughter last night. I grew up in the era and have fond memories of the late 70's when life seemed so careful, fun and I was so full of life. She asked if "daddy was like the guys in the movie back then" and I smiled and said "yes, daddy had a great time back then. But then I hugged her and kissed her and told her how much i loved her. I realized how lucky I am now and enjoyed the whole time with her without the T bothering me. It reminded me of how life can still be beautiful and to try and enjoy the blessings God has given me. It truly is the small things in life that can bring so much joy!

 

It has been a while since my last submission. Which I guess says something about habituation. Slowly I am removing the link between the sound and the emotion - so it loses "meaning" and "threat". I have come to realise that in life "sh%t happens" and it is how we deal with the sh%t that defines us as much as our personal achievements. I have also learnt that "maturity" is about mastering ourselves more than mastering tasks. It is confronting to be aging and realising that hearing, amongst other things just doesn't work as well as it used to. There will be more of this so how to deal with the losses is a big question. Let us live with dignity and optimism and help others to cope with what feels overwhelming to them.

 

Hi gentle people. I just wanted to add something to "recovery" mix here. As a way of coping with the onset of tinnitus I started using Lexapro (antidepressant) and Seraquel in subclinical -25mg- doses to sleep - this is an antipsychotic. Both have helped me to get on with my daily routine. The down side is wake groggy and need a coffee or two get me going. Lets be honest and admit I throw a couple of pm drinks in there as well. Although this mix has enabled me to continue in successful self employment (no paid "sick days" here folks), all three substances are also know to make tinnitus perception worse.

I have no doubt that many of you have had to manage with one or more medications. And no doubt you have heard the spike in volume with caffeine? We are heading to the rented beach house again in a few weeks but for 10 days and not 5 this time. Wish me luck in coming off the pills and the caffeine while I am down there away from the need to be up in the morning and functioning all day. A few rough nights will be coming my way and few caffeine withdrawal headaches too....

Word of caution .... if you intend to come off your antidepressants please 1) speak to your referring doctor 2) reduce the dose very slowly.

Could tinnitus actually be making me get fit and healthy again?!?!?!??!

 

Happy Easter...Happy Spring!

 

Happy Easter. The Lord has risen. That is a positive news amid the doom and groom of tragedies and miseries of this earthly existence. Tinnitus is an affliction which can be overcome given time and with some strategies. It is always tough at the beginning but the dark days will pass. Do not give up. Stay positive.

http://lessonslearnedinlife.com/do-not-give-up/

 

I am new here and so glad to read this thread. It's exactly what I needed. Thank you all.

 

Cheers Kah. I think most people are here to pull themselves out of the blues and rid experience of isolation. Personally I find a great help keep my self in check. Happy reading.

 

I enjoy reading these positive stories. Please keep them coming. On difficult days I read these threads to find inspiration and distraction. It helps ease my anxiety. I'm very happy to those who've reach or are close to habituating.
Unfortunately I've stopped my dieting and exercising when I got T. I'm slowly trying to get back on it cause I'm tired of this slippery slope. It's difficult but I'm determined.
Take care everyone!

 

Last saturday night I went for the first time since my T onset to a theater…
I have been very scared of loud places since the beginning and stopped going to cinemas/discos/pubs/concerts altogether as very scared of making my T worst..

But the good news is that I went to see "La Traviata" which was and is one of my fav operas, I had earplugs in my pocket just in case, but I only covered my ears a few times and through the clapping… Went to sleep with just a tiny higher awareness of my T but in the morning it was same as always… So very happy about it and less scare about going out…

Feeling good about it..

Ciao !!

 

Awesome! It is nice you could enjoy the opera.

 

Thought I'd add a philosophical standpoint from this adversity we have all been 'blessed' with:
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Most of us think what we want in life is peace and security, the elimination of all problems, pains or worries. If we could just get rid of the problems, pains and worries then we would be happy. Because of this belief we are constantly trying to solve the problems, eliminate the pains and head off the worries. In the process of doing those three things, we learn, stretch and grow. Our greatest accomplishments and most important growth happens because of the problems we are trying to eliminate.

Kay Redfield Jamison, a clinical psychologist and writer, said, “I believe that restlessness and discontent are vital things; and that intense experiences and suffering instruct us in ways that less intense emotions can never do.” In the book Moral Knowledge it reads, “Some degree of discontent is necessary to encourage us to engage in the activities of self-realization through which we flourish”

I want you to understand this because life is not about being content and secure. You cannot grow there. You would not discover who you are.

Life is about growth and growth only happens through discontent and problems. You will find challenges wherever you work because that is the nature of life, but you can feel more content in your times of discontent if you see them accurately. If you feel bothered, unhappy or stressed by a situation, these feelings are telling you that it’s time to grow. It is time for some stretching, learning or changing. Pain is a signal that something needs to change.

If you find the same type of problems wherever you go or you keep suffering with discontent over the same types of issues again and again, there are a couple of reasons this may be happening:

1. This is just the nature of the classroom you signed up for. I believe you had a chance to choose some of your classes before you came here and built into that choice was the question, “How much do you want to learn?” You can take the AP classes or the easy A’s. Which might you have chosen? You may be a soul who signed up for the hard classes here in life, because you really wanted to learn a lot.
2. There may be a specific tendency in you that you are meant to overcome, so this lesson is repeating over and over until you see it and work on it. Whenever you have someone mistreating you (or whose behavior bothers you), step back from the situation and ask yourself, “What fear or pain is this mistreatment bringing out in me? Is this fear or pain something I had before this? Is this person bringing this tendency out in me so I can see it and work on overcoming it? Could this person be serving as a teacher in my journey to help me overcome this tendency?"
3. The universe may be pushing you towards an achievement or discovery. If you look at your past suffering you will see knowledge you gained during those times (sometimes it is hard to see while still in the middle of the challenge). You might have learned things about the human condition, gained empathy for other people, or discovered techniques to survive which may help others. In your current situation you can ask yourself “ Is there a skill or knowledge I could gain that can only be gained through this experience? What is the hidden gift for me (in surviving this)?” If you can’t see it yet, just trust it is there and you will see it eventually.

It is often from discontent, feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure or even a bout with depression that the seeds of great wisdom and growth are sown. Negative emotions or experiences are a good sign that school is in session and you are headed towards some important learning. Change is coming and you are about to become a wiser, stronger, better or more loving you.

You can try to avoid all pains and challenges, but you will find two problems with this. First, it is impossible and second, you will get bored pretty fast. The truth is that we are hard-wired to want challenges in life and to some extent we even seek them out. This is why we willingly participate in sports, push ourselves to run marathons, seek out games of chance and challenge, play with puzzles, mind twisters and video games (the more challenging the better). At a core level we like discontent, challenge and difficulty.

Thomas Edison said, “Restlessness is discontent, and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.”

Really successful people are never content for long. As soon as they find themselves content they look for another challenge. Some of you may attract challenging situations into your lives because you really subconsciously desire progress. Maybe you have challenges wherever you work because you are subconsciously desiring growth. Could this be you? Maybe you don’t want peace as much as you want improvement?

Buddha said life is suffering and we suffer because we are discontent with "what is." He encouraged men to stop craving and resisting "what is" and become equanimous with life (this means with equal emotion towards the bad and the good). He encouraged us to understand the real nature of life and embrace periods of discontent with the same emotion that we do periods of peace because they are both here to serve us and they will both pass because no state is permanent. To some this may sound like being content no matter what you get, but it’s more than that. It’s understanding discontent and content are both there to serve you. You must greet all experiences with gratitude and curiosity for the positive they will bring.

What I am suggesting is that you adopt a more positive attitude towards your pains, problems and worries. I realize this is not easy to do, but it is a worthy goal. When you see the classroom of life accurately, you will see that the universe is conspiring to serve you, educate you and bless you, and every experience is facilitating something positive in your life at some level.

I am battling chronic pain right now that isn't particularly fun, but it really is easier to handle when I focus on what this experience is teaching me and work to learn something from it I can use to serve others. I have an amazing friend who is battling Parkinson's disease with an amazingly happy attitude because he sees it as a grand opponent to battle and win.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.” Real happiness does not come through peace, security or easy living. It comes as a by-product of service, love, achievement, growth and other virtuous activities. We are happy when we are doing things, accomplishing things, growing, learning, creating, serving, building and living. Yet all these activities are wrought with challenges to overcome and obstacles to navigate. So, I think we could accurately say - happiness comes from problems, pains and worries. Do you follow my logic?

You think that you are seeking contentment, peace, freedom from danger, risk, anxiety and doubt. You think that you want a state of tranquility all the time, but seeking this may actually push happiness away.

Happiness comes from embracing the whole journey, especially the challenges, because you understand they are all part of the achievement. You will be happy when you focus on growing, becoming, giving and loving God, life, yourself and other people. You will be happy when you see the universe as a wise teacher and trust that every experience is here to serve you. You will experience the whole thing in a more positive way and suffer less.

You will be happier at work if you step back from the problems and focus on what you can learn from them and turn them into achievements. How could this experience make you better, stronger or more loving? If you can get more content with your discontent, you will find joy wherever you are.

You can do this!

 

I woke up today, after 10 hours of sleep next to my wife and our cat, feeling calm. When I got out of bed, did my exercises, and then did my mindfulness mediation (where I focus on the T sound itself as an object of meditation), I realized several things:
* I feel legitimately happy and glad to be alive today
* I feel capable of handling whatever life throws at me today
* The actual volume of the ringing is much lower today than a few days ago, it took some actual concentration to pick the sound out from the background of my HVAC/building sounds.

Two days ago, I felt terrible. I cried a lot. It was an awful day. But, I remember a year ago, feeling much the same, and I know that when things were bad a year ago, they were just bad for weeks and weeks and weeks without a break.

If I get one day like today out of every ten, that is enough to keep me moving forward, and keep me away from sedatives and drugs and desperation.

It is miraculous to me to realize that whatever is happening, overall, I am, unquestionably, getting better. I don't know if it's just a matter of getting more time/distance away from the years I spent on benzos, or if it relates to other things that are harder to understand. But, whatever it is, I am thankful to be alive, to feel the way I feel now. I didn't have to take anything to feel this way. And that's the greatest gift of all.

I write this out of hope that it might inspire someone else to keep moving forward, but also so that I have a record of these feelings in a public place, to look back on the next time I feel awful and can't imagine ever being happy with the noises in my head.

 

I have a gratitude journal for when I am in a down turn. That helps me.

 

Started my new job last week. Really enjoying it and it has really taken my mind off T. I even managed to sleep without masking for the first time. I'm hoping this is a step in the right direction.

 

I,m seven weeks in with this hissing/ringing thingy,well I cracked up 5 weeks ago,and the hospital had me down as suicidal.Well it's certainly been challenging at times(lots of times,but I do notice I'm checking it out less these last few days,having said that I did sneek a diazapam in yesterday,when they were roaring higher than ever.Today I cycled 50 miles without noticing the t.But why don't doctors tell that most people start to accept the noise after a time,all they told me was"there is no cure".It was not until I saw a therapist this week that any positive advice was given.This forum has been a marvelous source of information and inspiration,thank you all.regards Malcolm.

 

@Craggy 65 , most likely your T will improve over time if you just be careful with your ears. And even more likely, your reaction to your T will improve a lot over time. Been a year for me and it don´t cause me the panic or anxiety feeling anymore. I just hear it but don´t react like i did in the early months. Keep the exercise up, this is what helped me the most during my dark days. There is no better anti anxiety med than a hard cardio work out.

 

@Craggy 65 ...Glad you are getting good support. Yes...it does get better with time.

 

This exercise is really helping me change my negative feelings to positive feelings, and has had a profound positive impact on my life:

I write three lists 1. My negative feelings and their causes, 2. A more realistic/holistic perspective of the issues, then 3. I try to write several things I am grateful for that could be related to the experience, or not (i.e. I am learning to manage my own feelings which is giving me more freedom and control over my well being and life.) Then I tear up the first list and throw it away, and get up and do something I enjoy right after the exercise. You might have to do this several times a day when you begin, but soon it will train you to be happier regardless of whatever outside circumstances that occur.

I have been able to increase my productivity and have been consistently much happier practicing this exercise, as well as practicing forgiveness of others and myself, because I used to unconsciously ruminate over my negative feelings and this helps train me to regulate my emotional response to outside circumstances. It also helped wean me from being co-dependent on others to feel happy. Lastly, I am more confident and positive generally, so it helps me achieve my other goals in life, as it is easier to notice and act upon new opportunities when you are in a positive mind space.

 

Hi Folks!
Finally it feels safe to read through postings without the dread of trying to un-think what I just read.
I've had T for ten years and NEVER posted or written a thing anywhere.
I stumbled upon this and thought it was time to share my experiences.
When I first heard 'the ringing' after an awful ear infection while touring with a band, I arrived back home totally broken. I lost hope. It was my nightmare turning real. Slowly over time I went from every second swamped with sadness and noise, to minutes, then hours and then days - yes entire days - finally I'd actually have too remind myself I had T by taking time out to zone in on my own personal head sound - 'ahh there you are, I'd forgotten you were with me today'. I would go for days , even weeks without giving it anymore than a swift thought when considering... Is this place to loud? Should I pull out the custom ear plugs - my ever reliable friend there to protect.
Remember, I make my living from audio so the initial impact of T was devastating, I love my job and it's the only thing I'm any good at doing. Yet, somehow I got my life back, a little different in places and I had to adjust and think ahead in loud environments when others around me could enjoy being carefree BUT it can be overcome and I did do just that.
Just over a month ago my T spiked for the first time in a decade (I have no idea why?). It's been tough. I don't talk or even tell people I know about my T, partly because (doing audio for a living) it spooks people I work with 'can he really be any good, with broken ears'? and also because the last thing I want is to always be asked 'how are the ears' so it does feel really good to know there are others, who are positive and getting on with their lives who really understand. Finding all your postings has for the first time since the spike reminded me that we adapt and there is always hope just ahead.
Thank you everyone, the thread is a wonderful idea... positive thoughts are good medicine!

 

Just saying hello. I'm not here that much anymore because I'm too busy enjoying life despite my tinnitus.

My hobby also helps a lot in forgetting Mr. T. Flying my mini quadcopter is a blast and every time I put on the goggles I forget about everything else, including Mr. T. It's therapy with no side effects. The video under is me flying this weekend.

Meeruf FPV - Oslo 10.05.15

If you are not familiar with the RC community and FPV flying I seriously think you should read about it. It's a pretty cheap way to experience flying. The technology has gone very far the last 2-3 years when it comes to FPV flying.

 

@meeruf

That's a very kool video, I don't know much about FPV, is that another name for Radio Controlled plane, with a camera on it ? Is the engine running on some kind of gas fuel?


Anyway, It's a well done video I enjoyed it. It does look fun. I'm glad that you have a hobbie.


Louie

 

Welcome back to update us of your fun life @meeruf flying this exciting FPV mini quadcopter. Boy, I didn't know quadcopter can be that fast. You surely fly it like a dare devil, going under a goal post, flying in the narrow lane among trees. So exciting to watch. Hey, you can fly some drones for the military with that flying skill. LOL. Did you build your own quadcopter?

 

FPV stands for 'First Person View'. You have a camera mounted on the quadcopter frame, then you have a video transmitter that are sending the video signal down to your goggles that you have on your head. The signal is analog, therefor no lag and you have from 1km to several miles range. Depending on what frequencies you are using. Since you are using goggles, and all light from outside is blocked, its a pretty immersive experience.

 

Some of the mini quadcopters are going up to 160km/t now on 6 cells batteries. It's crazy. The goggles have gone from crappy low resolution to almost HD resolution. You even get goggles with 3D now. Real 3D with two cameras on the quadcopter sending two images down to you from two different angles. Making it real 3D, and not like the crappy 3D on the cinemas making your eyes go crazy.

Nah. I don't have much interest in the military. I'm just into it because of the fun.I don't want to spy on anyone or bomb anyone.

Yeah, you have to build them yourself. Or at least buy them in parts. You WILL crash, and if you don't know how to build them, you don't know how to repair either. There is some ready to fly models, but they are usually pretty bad, expensive and if you crash you are fucked, because you don't have spare parts or the know-how. Ready to fly models are not well tuned either, and you will probably get crappy video from them.

 

Thanks for the info @meeruf. I am definitely interested in learning how to build them. Besides adding more fun to my T life (LOL), I have 4 grandsons from my daughters. They are mostly young boys & toddlers. So I will learn how to build a simple model and teach them the fun of flying this thing in the future in all the family picnics we have every year. Just need to find some place not so crowded in Vancouver area (good luck). I love the big wide fields you have there for flying your craft. Do you know of good sites to read up on DIY project and links to sites for parts to build a simple one which is easy to fix after crashing? I know we will crash it lots as beginners. LOL. There seem to be some videos on youtube. I don't know if they are 'pro' enough to guide a first timer on DIY project. Thanks in advance for your info. Your can PM me for that if you like. Let's all learn to maximize our 'life force' and minimize T by seeking after hobbies which can help to bury Mr. T. This seems to be a pretty exciting new hobby for me. I already know how to use my drone in my fishing trips. Sometimes we walk for 30 minutes to a river spot through bushes, only to find out some guys already take the spot. This will save the walk. It will be my new fishing surveillance drone. LOL. Watch out Mr. T. Here comes my drone after you to spoil your day!!!

 

There is a million building guides out there. You just need to search for it. Here you have a list over what you will need: http://blog.oscarliang.net/250-mini-quad-part-list-fpv/

I would recommend that you buy a high quality frame like Blackout Mini H or QAV 250. They are really strong and you will not break the frame unless you hit a concrete wall something else that is really hard. These brands have replacement parts for everything so you don't have to buy a completely new set if you break something. The frame is strong and consist of 3mm thick carbon fiber arms and body. There are cheap Chinese copies of these brand frames, but good luck with finding replacement parts. If you are unlucky the screw holes wont even fit. They have bad quality control.

I would go for 6 inch propellers and 4 cell batteries with a high discharge rate. 1800mAh/2200mAh with 60c discharge rate for example. With that set up you will get that 120km/t punch.

If you want to go crazy you can go for a 6 cell battery setup. I have seen people pull 160km/t with that. But it takes its toll on the speed controllers and motors. So 4 cell is probably the best right now, until they can make motors that can handle 6 cell batteries.

For flight controller, stay with naze32 and flash it with 'cleanflight', thats another software that is much better then the original flashed 'baseflight'. For speed controllers use ESC's that support oneshot. Then you will 100% smooth flying with no vibration. Oneshot is a new thing and its almost magical improvement from what used to be the best. I have these speed controllers. They work just fine. Speed controllers is what control the speed of the props.

What really sucks for newcomers is the price for the radio controller and the video goggles. They are pretty expensive. Luckily this is just a one time purchase and you will have it forever if you take good care. I have this radio controller and I'm very happy with it. It supports telemetry so you can get voltage information from you quad down to the radio controller so you know when to land. It even talks and you can set it up to warn you automatic when the voltage reach a certain point.

Here you have a list over goggles. I have the Fatshark Predator V2. Don't buy them. They are sharp, but have a very narrow field of view. The screen is very dark too, so when its sunny outside and you take them on, you need to wait some seconds to let your eyes adjust. I will buy the Fatshark Dominators as soon as I have the money. They are around 500$, but they are awesome! They are bright, sharp and have a big field of view. They have integrated video recorder so you can record the analog video feed from the quad. If you want HD video from the quadcopter you need a mobius, GoPro or another small action cam you can mount on your quadcopter.

If you are serious about building one, just write to me, and I will help you to get it done, it can save you some time, frustration and money. I did a lot of stupid mistakes when I first started.

 

Thank you @meeruf for the detail explanation. I will check things out first and talk to the family. I definitely want to do this but the timing will depend on what age the boys can enjoy this thing with me with their mother's approval (LOL). So right now, I will read up on info and check out the links. Also will check out the reg on FPV flight here in Vancouver area to see if there are too much restriction. Hope to find some local groups here flying these things. Thanks for the offer to help. You are so generous in sharing your hard-earned knowledge.

 

@meeruf

Wow man that's amazing, so there are actually 2 cameras one focus on the background and the other focus on the foreground ? In almost 1080P ..that has to be unbeliveble, I would like to see that. I have always been in to 3D movies. I have a pretty good setup at home. The the pollerized glasses it give a pretty good 3D illusion. I just wish there were more movies available.

It's really kool that you have something that you can enjoy.

Thank You for the info on it...I hope to look into it soon, I could get into that. Your clip is really amazing.


Louie