The Positivity Thread

@Mark G I love this TT forum, all of it, but sometimes I feel it is a bit of a minefield navigating it. Some days I can handle it better than others. Love the idea of you picking up the guitar and going out on that date! Yes!! I would imagine only 11 days in your T is going to get nothing but better. Say hi to London for me - it's on my bucket list to go there! I consider myself a Britophile, lol. xoxo Rosemerry

 

I'm still habituating to my T and this was definitely a better day. Even if I had some downs, it was positive. I also got to spend some wonderful time with my mom and we talked.

If anything is truly coming out of this is that I'm definitely engaging with my mom. Also, my grandfather and his wife who have decided to make a point of weekly visits.

I'm looking forward to my sister and her children visiting as well.

I love this positivity thread as well. The success stories and positivity threads have made a huge difference for me.

 

These days I didn't let myself just sit there and cry.I started to exercise and try to lose some weight lol.Also,I started to review my textbooks.I think I got something really matter to do,to make progress.
Best wishes to everyone

 

@ChineseHazel Good job ChineseHazel! It so helps to keep busy. Actually, I think that's the answer for so many things in life. To stay engaged and keep going, no matter what. xoxo RM

 

@Rosemerry Thanks!!Although sometimes I still feel down...I think it's normal for everyone.Keep calm and carry on.
May I ask your avatar is a pic of your cat?lol

 

@ChineseHazel Exactly! It is perfectly normal. And it's so funny you mentioned "KCACO." I've actually been thinking that is the greatest advice for the times my T seems to get the better of me!

Yes, my avatar is my cat Scout. He passed away a year ago in January but he was my little guy - really like my kid although I sometimes cringe when people say that about their animals lol.

 

I was debating about posting this because I don't know how positive it is (I set the bar kind of low) but anyway:

I woke up in the middle of the night/very early morning as I often do. I got up and with my balance being kind of off banged my hand trying to flip the light switch. Well I'm still trying to be quiet but then smack my elbow on the door frame. I climb back in bed and the T is really ringing. Instead of getting upset I just had to laugh and told it I wasn't in the mood. Went back to sleep.

 

@Rosemerry I am so sorry to hear that he had gone.I think his expression is so funny,and cute!

 

@light rain Brilliant! I'm so glad you posted - it makes all the difference to be able to laugh. I will think of this the next time I get up at night! xoxo RM

 

@Rosemerry I just had a nightmare .It's 8:30 am.Still wanna sleep

 

Thanks Rosemerry. The T likes the bedroom especially and honestly I think it wakes me up sometimes. I was surprised I was able to laugh and just not lay there like I do listening to it.

Sorry about you cat. Ours died last year. She was 15 but as active and playful as ever.

 

@ChineseHazel Oh no! That's happened to me before. I hope you were able to go back to sleep!

@light rain I'm telling you laughing at something takes the power away from it, at least IMHO. Sorry to hear about your cat. Scout was 15 too and had a most excellent life until he got lymphoma. We treated him at this fancy animal hospital for a few months, but we were just buying him time. And us too I guess! xoxo RM

 

Sorry to hear about you're cat @Rosemerry my Mr. Peaches just vanished in March and we were together for 13 years. I miss him as he was my super support, especially during my panic attacks. He always came to greet me and was super excited!

I had a pretty good night of sleep, still woke up often. However, my dreams gave me the answer that I'm afraid of my T because I think it will change my personality. So then when I fell back to sleep I had a fun dream that screamed me and it felt like it was saying you're still you. I slept well the rest of the night.

Though I wonder if I'll get back to my peace of mine. I use to be able to stare off into space and zone out. Now I find it hard to zone out into a movie.

 

I find myself telling my T that a lot when it's time to sleep or it wakes me up. It's been helping as I can't stand to sleep with other noises. It's nice when you can laugh at it.

 

Sometimes I'm starting to think it acts like its having a tantrum if I'm not paying attention to it.

 

I haven't contributed in a while, and I firmly believe that most of us who are better tend to stay away from these forums...sorry about that people. I'm nearly 10 months into a significant spike after attending a rock concert and I have fully habituated again.
I've included my initial post from last Oct below that details my journey. To those of you who are still struggling, my advice to you is Please Be Patient. I found that stress reducing supplements, as well as, NAC helped lower my T slightly. This was enough to allow me to calm down and habituate. I'm still careful and wear ear plugs to shows, movies, using lawn equipment, even while vacuuming. Why not, right?
My T is still there but I feel victorious because I'm not letting it rule my life.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/10-years-w-tinnitus-trying-to-habituate-for-2nd-time.18039/

 

Haven't heard it all day until now. I think my brain is starting to filter it out. Up until recently, i heard it all the time. In the last few months i had 10-15 minutes each day where i didn't think about it and didn't hear it. Today i haven't heard it. 10 minutes ago or something like that, i started to think about it and there it was. =) Very strange. My guess is that the mechanism creating the sounds is still intact, but the brain is not monitoring it. That's the only explanation i can come up with. I don't have any negative reactions to it anymore though. who would have thought that when it first started?

 

Congrats!!! I hope things keep going well for you.

Even when you're "spacing out" or have a clear mind you can't hear it anymore?

 

I think of mine as a petulant child! When it really acts up, I think to it, "That's enough, you need to go have a timeout."

And for some reason, I feel better if I think of it as just an accentuation to my emotions. For example, it spikes louder when I raise my voice or when my kids laugh. That really mentally bothers me. But sometimes I try to think of it as emotions spilling out as sound. Like, I'm frustrated and raised my voice so it's only my anger. Or my daughter is laughing with so much joy that it's overflowing into my own head.

That probably sounds crazy, but it makes me feel more in control.

 

Don't think it sounds crazy at all but I was wondering because I was talking to it (not out loud of course). I think it helps to reframe it.

 

@Tinker Bell Love this! and like @light rain said, it totally helps to reframe it. I talk to my T too and I feel it's better to have a good relationship to it than a bad one. So I try to be kind. Also, I'm reading this book about loving-kindness and one of the meditations is you pick something about yourself that you struggle or suffer with. The author suggests you meditate and say " May I accept this, May I have loving-kindness towards this, May I use the pain of this for the welfare of others." It really helps me!

 

So I've been worried about how spotty my concentration has been and my change in personality. So I made it a goal today to get stuff done. For the most part I did! From morning until sitting down to relax tonight. I had a few slips. (My mom's poor shirt got shrunk, but we may have saved it through a good stretching.)

Now that my physical pain is less I can push myself more easily to do more physical activities. I worked on a neighbor's computer and when I felt mentally done I just took a deep breath and pushed on and did it.

A better day indeed. Tomorrow will be even better as my niece, nephew, and sister will be here.

I'm starting to think that making myself sit and concentrate is key. Don't just "flee". Take a deep breath if need be.

 

@Shera I'm so sorry to hear about Mr. Peaches. Scout was like that too - always there for me. My current two cats just pay attention to me when they want fed, lol. I'm confident you'll get your peace of mind back. I do this meditation where I say "May I be free from fear. May I have mental happiness. May I have physical happiness. May I have ease of well being." I read about it in a meditation book and it really helps me. xoxo R

 

@Rosemerry Yuki, Mr. Peaches' mom, is weirdo. But when I rescued her she was in a livetrap for days with dogs trying to kill her. She's a special soul. Though when she took a trip into town by accident she walked 15 miles back home. We're loyal. My old cat Smokey is 18 and I believe in the process of dying. I don't think she'll make the end of the year. Maybe not even month, but through the enemas and hairballs she keeps going. She just tells and nags me what to do. My mom wants me to get a snuggle cat. Because snuggle silkies don't quite cut it! My lingering depression kind of has me saying no. But I think I would warm up to the idea as I'm becoming more aware and less like this is all happening to someone else.

Today my sister, her husband, and kids came. One of the best days I've had in a long time. Told myself not to mention my T out loud, though I did accidently once. I had a few rough thoughts, but pushed through. I think the rest of the day will be just as great.

 

@Shera Love hearing about your cats - our pets are such a comfort to us, aren't they? Awesome that you had such a fun, happy day! I swear the key is keeping busy and engaged with life. Everyone has something they're dealing with but we all just have to keep at it, one day at a time. xoxo R

 

Agreed. Things can feel stagnant now as we rarely visit with people and are trying to clean up the house. (We're all hoarders so it's a full time job.) We're trying to sell most of everything!

 

Hope is never lost!!! Look at Superman Mr. Reeve!!!!

Wheelchair to walking: The power of hope |...

 

I believe T has a cure but no prescription. You just have to discover your own cure since it varies for everyone. God has not said there's no cure for me. I've been through hell and there were times I wished myself death. But Thank God I did not die because I would have missed the miracle awaiting me.

It took me several weeks to get here but I'm seeing improvement. I'm a christian so I cry to God whenever I'm in anguish as I continue to search for cure and try different things. On a scale of 10, T is now 3/10 . It has been 10/10 in the last one month and I only began to see change few days ago. I'm already writing my success story and by the grace of God I will be back here to tell it.

What I do is pay attention to my body and try to discover what aggravates the sound or alleviates it. I also researched extensively and tried various things some of which landed me deeper in Tinnitus but I bounced back. What I never did was to give up. My advise is that you eliminate junk foods. I guess that works for everyone. Above all, pray. Miracles happen.

 

@Nike Yes, we all have miracles awaiting us! I have a quote on my desk that says "Never, never, never give up." Winston Churchill. EVERYONE has something in their lives that's rough, that makes them want to give up, that they wish would go away. We all suffer - that is part of life. How we react to it - either struggling against it, or accepting it and living our wonderful, relatively short little lives - is the key I think.

 

Uplifting piece
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opi...-lose-my-hearing/article34791673/?service=amp