This Post Is for Giving My Support

Discussion in 'Support' started by Darkomatic, Nov 12, 2015.

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    1. Darkomatic

      Darkomatic Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Hello! I'm very sorry if my English is not very good but it is not my mother language. This is my first post in this forum and I don't want that my first impression is arrogant or thoughtless because of the title so sorry for that too. The idea of this post is to tell my story and hopefully give my promised support on this matter. The reason why I think that I'm expirienced on this matter is because I have ear
      damage since birth and doctors said
      that my T has been since birth too
      propably. I have encountered mental breakdowns 3 times after that and T has been major factor on those too.

      The first 1 was when I was very very small kid. 6 years old or something and I don't remember it at all but my
      parents said that I was very impacted by it for 3 months but I got over it. Next one I remember somehow and I remember that I was 15 and it was the
      first time in my life when I had any suicidal thoughts. That year was also the time when I started smoking weed and drinking more than ever before (I have long history of addictions but it's not relevant). And the third breakdown was now almost 1 year ago.
      The last one was the worst and I'm still on the afterglows on that but on the first 5 months I expirienced panic disorder, dementofobia, depersonalisation and emotional numbness. The worst of all screaming T cos everything I listed causes major boost to T. It was not the cause tho, it was because I quited drugs.
      I cannot explain all the thinking I did to cure from those all, but it was huge bullshit and now all that remains is T. My biggest problem atm is going to sleep with it but I always listen to fan or radio to get my mind off it. But most of the day I don't even remember it. It gets boosted by exercise but don't be afraid of it. It's temporary.
      Anyway the whole point of this story was that if it gives you any hope it will "fade" on time. It never vanishes but you forget it. I would say it comes part of you and you don't stress it anymore. The first half year is the worst and you have to work your opinion on it. I like to think it as friend that doesn't let go but serves its own purpose of making me more durable. Achieving that is freaking hard but biggest tip I can give is that do nothing. Accept it. And that takes long time but it happends with time and cannot be forced. Your mind gets used to it like it gets used to anything that stays. Good and the bad.
      Sorry again if you think this was stupid text but no matter what keep your hopes up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      • Like Like x 2
      • Winner Winner x 1
    2. billie48

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      Welcome Darkomatic. No this is no stupid text. This is wisdom and the underlying reason that some people can move on and others can't. Acceptance of the reality of living with T (if not accepting or liking T) is to me the first step to start turning around the struggle with T. But of course we recognize that the more intrusive T is, the harder to accept the reality of living with it, and the longer the time needed for the brain to habituate to T. I rate you a winner because you can even move beyond acceptance to befriend T. That is tough for a lot of members.
      • Hug Hug x 1
    3. Darkomatic

      Darkomatic Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Silly as it sounds, first person calling me winner make me shed few tears.
      Life is rough steps to fall and climb.
      Anyway much Apricciated.

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