Tinnitus from an Emotional Relationship (and/or Breakup)?

Discussion in 'Support' started by 2147483647, Dec 23, 2017.

    1. 2147483647

      2147483647 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hi all.
      Looking for any connection between emotional difficulties and Tinnitus.
      It's quite a long story, but I'll try to keep it short.

      About six years ago I met my ex-girlfriend.
      Everything was great and we loved each other very much.
      About three years ago - still in the relationship - I first became aware of the T. In the beginning I noticed it only just before falling asleep at night.

      In the years following, my girlfriend and I had an increasing amount of trouble in our relationship. We never lived together and didn't see each other every single day. But other than that, we were "a real family".
      Long story short, most of our problems (I since discovered) revolved around her daughter, which I liked very much but just didn't get along with when we were all together. Another part of the problem came from not living together, which meant we never felt quite at home...we were always kinda just visiting the other and living out of a bag a couple of days at a time.

      A year ago we broke up. But only so-so.
      We didn't do a clean break, which I've since read is the "correct" way of doing it. Instead we kept seeing each other, having 'relations', going on trips and so forth.
      In essence, we were still dating. Only we told everyone including ourselves that we weren't.
      Eventually it came to an end, though, and we stopped being physical together. Then spent less and less time together.

      For the past 11 months I've been in a bad mood. A mild depression, is what the doctor called it. But I didn't see a connection to the broken-off-but-still-ongoing relationship.
      Then last month while begin out on the town one evening with a couple of friend it all dawned on me. Boom...and then my heart broke...right there in a pub...a full year too late.
      Then I cried for two days straight.
      It was hard. But also a huge relief.
      I've since told everyone I know about the situation, gotten help from a shrink and everything is looking up.

      But...then a couple of weeks ago as everything seemed to brighten, the tinnitus got worse. A lot worse. Like ten times, or so. It also started in my left ear, which has otherwise never been affected before.
      I remember noticing, after things started getting tense with my girlfriend a couple of years ago (but before things became actual problems), that my T sometimes got worse when we were together. But I wrote it off as being induced by job-related stress.

      So, finally, the question:
      has anyone else experienced an emmotional connection to tinnitus?

      I'm thinking the sudden increase in strength could very well be an emmotional response to the breakup finally dawning on me. And I also think maybe the T a couple of years ago could have been my subconsciousness telling me to get out.

      I've had a permanent muscle tension in the back of my neck since my heart broke, and I'm pretty sure it is "residual" heart-break still lingering, so I'm likely still not done processing the events.
      Is it possible my not being over the breakup is causing my T?

      I still talk to my ex. I still love her and am probably (for sure) still not over her.
      We've talked about trying getting back together. But my gut tells my I'm not really sure that's a good idea.
    2. Dana

      Dana Member Benefactor

      Bucharest, Romania
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      The question "my tinnitus may have started from the tension or i was right when i was thinking that my T started from job-related stress" is wrong.
      The brain adds up the stress from all the causes. It is not from this or that. It is from alll that.
      If nothing else bad happened in your life and you do not have other health issues, your T may be indeed from stress (job-related stress, emotional stress, it does not matter, the sum of those issues), in which case i recommend you to relax, if you can, and to use psychotherapy and medication for relaxation, if you cannot relax.
      Problem with you is that you are so sentimental, which is not a good thing when trying to get over a break-up, and when stress could really be the cause of tinnitus.
      Could be. But the cause of your T may be something else. Did you think about that? Blood pressure, too high, or too low, or other things. The list of causes for tinnitus is so long.
      For diagnosic purposes and treatment, i suggest you another girlfriend.
      The nail can be taken out by another nail.
    3. AUTHOR

      2147483647 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Thanks for chipping in.
      The "another girlfriend" treatment has been duely noted :)

      My story was getting long enough, so I omitted the anxiety attack I had about a week before the heart break.
      I was at my computer working like normal, when suddenly I became dizzy. My eye sigth got blurry and had blind spots accompanied by massiv muscle tensions in the entire left side of the scull and migraine headaches. This all came within 30 seconds of feeling just fine, but kept me in a fetal position in bed for a day.
      There was no doubt in my mind that this episode was the result of too many stress and emotional related issues that the brain just said "enough! you have to listen to me now!"

      Doctor says everything is peachy. Blood pressure good, no infections or deficiencies.
      I don't find it hard to relax. I sleep well and have taken up meditation for the past three weeks.
      But what you're saying is, that the tinnitus could likely be a continuation of the anxiety?
      So I'm likely still stressed out - having unresolved emotional stress issue - even though I feel just fine?
      Sounds plausibel.
    4. Dana

      Dana Member Benefactor

      Bucharest, Romania
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I have read a lot about tinnitus, from super scientific articles to articles written by quacks. T being like an alarm that goes off only to tell you "back out, back out, too much", is a theory that i came across many times reading about T, and makes, to me, a certain amount of sense. The anxiety is a wellknown cause of T.
      If you even had an anxiety attack, that means that your anxiety levels were pretty high, and you definitely still have anxiety that you may not even be aware of.

      What are you waiting to happen for you to go out and start another relationship? To stop having any kind of feelings for her and start hating her? This will never happen so you are waiting in vain.
      In my opinion you should start another chapter in your life.
      Being lonely and thinking so much about the past is not healthy. Close this chapter once and for all. Not by stopping talking to her, but going out and looking for someone else.
      There are three alternatives:
      1. Getting back with her.
      Not good, you would have the same problems, and you will never find out if T comes from the tension in this relationship.
      2. Remaining alone
      Not good, in all repects, including the fact that this will give you more time to focus on your T and to think about a relationship that built up something very unhealthy in you, if you ended up having an anxiety attack. This does not sound like emotional health. It is quite bad. It seems that you have problems in your subconscious that surfaced in this way: having a anxiety/panic attack. Your soul has a problem, is not calm and happy, as it shoud be.
      3. Open up to start a new relationship and do something about it, cause nobody will knock on your door if you do not do something about it.
      This is the alternative in which you have chances to return to physical and emotional health.

      If you think that alternative 3 is the best, than my advice deserves more than a duly writing down, but a putting in practice. Man are supposed to make the first step, so make it!
      What are you planning for? Years of introspection? What for? To hell with that!

      By being stubborn to remain in this phase or by getting back with your ex you block the possiblilty of something good, something that could heal your soul and body, to happen.

      Or of it is just a delaying, my opinion is that this delaying should stop, the sooner the better.
      Last edited: Dec 23, 2017
    5. fishbone

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Stress/anxiety can cause many things. I'd try to get rid of it and just try to be as stress free as possible. Stress can cause tensions in the body. try to relax and get rid of the stress, it's never easy but it is very helpful...
    6. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You need to get a CT scan done, in order to eliminate brain tumor as the cause of your problems. Sudden dizziness and problems on just one side of the body are classic symptoms of brain cancer (one of my family members had those symptoms before getting that diagnosis). If you experience anything like it again, see a doctor right away. If I were you, I would talk to my doctor now, just in case. The sooner they begin treating these things, the better the prognosis...

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