Tinnitus is like a lock, you just have to find the right key that works for you...

Discussion in 'Support' started by Ryan W, Feb 27, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Ryan W
      Frustrated

      Ryan W Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Northern Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/01/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure I think
      I've had tinnitus as 3 years and am 25, I was a typical young person loved my music loud and it's now ruined my life, I find it really hard to give up all the things I Love which I no makes it worse, though you have to have some enjoyments in life, I have a lot more bad days than good days, though I still try to live as normal as a life as I can as a 25 year old ,but when I feel really depressed I think someday they WILL find a cure, I try to keep myself strong by telling myself that. All you can do is hope and stay POSITIVE...
       
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    2. Erlend
      Question it

      Erlend Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Scandinavia
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2013
      How loud is yours?
       
    3. Ryan W
      Frustrated

      Ryan W Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Northern Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/01/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure I think
      I would say it's a good 7 or 8 out of 10 , not nice at all :(
       
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    4. Erlend
      Question it

      Erlend Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Scandinavia
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2013
      What is the scale?

      In how loud enviroment do you still hear it?
       
    5. Ryan W
      Frustrated

      Ryan W Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Northern Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/01/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure I think
      10 being really loud, yea I hear it over most things I do, and the smallest of noises effects it, i rarely go out a night anymore, but when I do I wear earplugs and my ears go mad for the next day or 2.
       
    6. here2help

      here2help Member

      Ryan,

      I’d like to challenge you a little.

      If you are counting on a cure to be found for tinnitus in order to feel better, then you are reduced to wishing. My wish for you is that you take one foot out of the wishing business and place it in the business of taking action. There are steps you can take (keys you can turn) so tinnitus no longer has a hold on you and on your decisions. You are 25, but write about yourself in the past tense. You believe tinnitus has ruined your life, when the majority of your life is in front of you. You rarely go out at night because you believe it worsens your tinnitus.

      I think it is healthy that it is hard for you to give up all the things you love to do. I was glad you said that, and I hope you will take that feeling seriously. I'm not suggesting you should listen to very loud music, but I hope you won't give up on living fully and filling your days and nights with things you love to do. I would be interested to learn about what you have tried so far to get the upper hand on tinnitus in the three years you have had it.

      here2help
       
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    7. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      "I would be interested to learn about what you have tried so far to get the upper hand on tinnitus in the three years you have had it."

      here2help, we are well aware of the possible current tinnitus management strategies - TRT, CBT, MBCT, Neuromonics, and that stupid Henry and Wilson book you always rave about on the Yuku forum.

      I would suggest you read the RESEARCH section of this forum to see the vast amount of progress made in tinnitus and a possible cure is in the works.
       
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    8. Grace
      No Mood

      Grace Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/14/2013
      Cure in the works... And its gonna happen :) always a good thing to keep this in the back of your mind cause the hope and positivity of it helps i think.
       
    9. nills
      Barefooter

      nills Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Belgium
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      you know something else guys ... we are allowed to say and feel that tinnitus sucks! ... how about making that some insight, instead of excusing ourselves for having bad feelings because Jezus died on the cross for our sins ... I tell you we live in a strange society when people can`t even understand their own feelings anymore or even are allowed to feel them because it might give someone else a bad feeling ... how about admitting you are in a shit situation and starting to live from there ... and still finding happiness and the strength to hope for a cure ... how about giving up loud music because maybe it is good to give it up? give up drinking because maybe being drunk is n`t that cool after all? starting to live a more quite and focused life away from to many social gatherings but turning it into contemplation and a life affirming experience... ? stop hitting yourself because you feel depressed and society says it`s wrong ... god or the universe put that feeling in you so now work with it. Don`t deny it, use it.

      that`s the only way to stay sane and away from pills. I tell you those pills that cover up the feelings are just fooling you.
       
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    10. Ryan W
      Frustrated

      Ryan W Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Northern Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/01/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure I think
      Hey thanks, yea I no it's hard in the fact that all my friends no I have it and I always tell them look keep that down you don't want to end up like me and they are more cautious now but they do things and forget about my ears which is not there fault, the smallest of things things am running about with my fingers in my ears because it flares up, recently I gave up my job cause it was too loud and looking for a job to accommodate my ears and am only 25, I have read through a lot of the articles on this and as there is no actually cure YET, I think with the way things are going and the the amount of people that has it they will find something , though il maybe be 50 lol this bit is gona sound deep, but I have in the past thought of ways I could commit suicide and make it look like an accident, ( I no sad) only reason I couldn't do it is because my mum has been through way too much as it is, I went to the doctors and nearly burst out crying in front of her and she gave me anxiety tablets and anti depressants , I took the anxiety tablets but thought they made it worse, and I couldn't take anti depressants because they made me feel sick and dizzy, I have been looking in to TRT but I would have to fly 6 - 8 times to London and it costs 4500, and I just don't have that money to give it ago and maybe be no better off. I have seen some things which looks good to reduce it abit but am scared it mite make it worse, though when I was younger my bottom jaw was infront of my top jaw and now my jaw clicks really loudly TMJ and am thinking that maybe made me more prone to it.?
       
    11. Dr. Nagler

      Dr. Nagler Member

      Location:
      Atlanta, Georgia USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1994
      I personally think the "stupid Henry and Wilson book" to which dan refers in his post is absolutely wonderful. Unfortunately it is out of print, and even used copies currently run upwards of $140 on amazon. I do have access to a few copies that I am willing to distribute for free. If anybody would like one, please contact me off the board by clicking on my user name and then "Start a Conversation."

      Best to all -

      sp
       
    12. epin3m
      Badass

      epin3m Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      That book is not stupid at all and I do not know what you have against Rob. This guy has helped THOUSANDS so as sp to get back to their lives and overcome their tinnitus.

      Good luck staying seated waiting for a cure Dan. I´ll take living life with my loud tinnitus than waiting for a cure that, let´s be honest here guys, MIGHT NEVER COME.
       
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    13. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Rob and SP were my mentors on a former board. I learned so much from them. They both have so much to give to the tinnitus world. I owe my recovery to them and I forever thank them for their kindness to help me a few years back. I hope for the sake of the newer T sufferers here that we will maintain a spirit of harmony and unity among us as much as possible so that our message of care and help to the newer sufferers are not lost. There is always the conversation function here to chat or rant about one's feeling towards another privately, instead of spilling out foul spirit in a support thread. My humble 2 cents.
       
    14. epin3m
      Badass

      epin3m Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      I agree Billie. You are right, I won´t vent my feelings against someone again. My apologies.
       
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    15. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      No problem, Adrian. You are just being fair to Rob. Perhaps I clicked 'Reply' on the wrong post. I was just trying to second your feeling, not opposing it. I am more concerned of the other party seemingly ranting on Rob and a book which has helped a lot of people. No book can help everyone's T. We just have to be realistic. But to coin a book of healing for many other T sufferers as 'stupid' is not appropriate on a support thread where many new T sufferers are reading. It takes away their faith in using that book which may be helping them to get better. Perhaps those kind of feelings can be handled in private conversation directly with Rob. My 2 cents.
       
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    16. nills
      Barefooter

      nills Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Belgium
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      You know buddy, you are not alone, and we are a community of people having to endure similar experiences ... keep your head up and indeed, stay alive! I know those thoughts about suicide, but it is not going to help you at all ... if you believe the Buddhists you will have to come back anyway ;)... when those thoughts come, just giggle, because they are nothing to worry about, you are alive buddy!! ... now my life has changed dramatically since Tinnitus, and some is for the better some is for the worse, but ALL is for the better if I choose to use it that way.. you following me? I have been working for 12 hours a day, with a mining company in the middle of nowhere (which is quite beautiful if you count out the steel buildings ;) ) for the last year with only 1 week of every 28 consecutive working days... social life is non existent, though I go to the beach to surf when i`m home.. and all of this because I am saving money the day a cure comes, no matter the price... Am i fooling myself? hell no ... I`m just living the best way I feel in this moment ... next to that I have adopted a quite life with more exercise and healthy diet. Before T I ate crap and was on drugs a lot of weekends partying ... I`m happy with the change I found ... you just follow your heart in this journey and than you don`t need to worry.. stay strong by being soft with yourself. ;)
       
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    17. Ryan W
      Frustrated

      Ryan W Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Northern Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/01/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure I think
      Hey thanks nills, yea it is nice to talk to other people in the same situation, people that are close friends and family feel sorry for you and try to help but they have no idea what your going through inside, I am really glad I found this site, they are spending money on research and no a lot of people have it and hate to say it but will become more common in young people with technology nowadays, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy this , you say you do mining 12 hours aday , do you not find that makes yours T worse even with ear protection ? Maybe your T is different to mine but if am doing something noisey I wear ear muffs and but they also make it worse, so I can't really win in that respect, all the things I mainly eat makes it worse, spicy foods etc but find it really hard to give up as am kinda a picky eater and when I exercise I feel as if my heart is gonna jump out my ear, only thing I've stayed clear of this year is caffeine which hasn't really changed anything for me.
       
    18. nills
      Barefooter

      nills Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Belgium
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      Everything influences the T experience, but it always goes to it`s constant like base level and sound afterwards ... so I don`t really worry about it too much when like you say my heart is pumping in my ear and everything is muffed because of the blood pressure after exercise, I drink caffeine because I work night shifts at the moment .. i`ve learned to accept t as part of the day. I use ear protection whenever I need to and yes you go into that T zone where there is nothing else but the constant ring buzz hissing ... but it`s been like that for around 5 years now so, what can you do? ... keep going, staying strong and coming to this community and read up on all the things happening in the world to get us out of this mess :) it`s gonna happen some day, i`m sure of it ... what a beautiful day that will be!!
       
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    19. here2help

      here2help Member

      Nills, IMHO the one thing "happening in the world to get us out of this mess" is ourselves.

      Ryan, if you ever reach the point where you feel suicidal and begin to seriously think of ways to make your passing look like an accident, rather than "giggle" about it, I hope you will take those feelings seriously, talk to a mental health professional, and do whatever it takes to get help.

      Waiting for a cure can be a little like waiting for the woman of your dreams to magically appear on your doorstep. A cure for tinnitus would be lovely, but in the meantime, we have the choice to either let tinnitus happen to us or reclaim our lives by taking action. There are a number of ways to do that, and while most of them involve an investment of time and energy, some of them involve no or very little money.

      here2help
       
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    20. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      "Waiting for a cure can be a little like waiting for the woman of your dreams to magically appear on your doorstep."

      It has been known to happen LOL. Hearing that from you gives me so much hope for a cure! - thank you!:joyful:
       
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    21. Dr. Nagler

      Dr. Nagler Member

      Location:
      Atlanta, Georgia USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1994
      It's great to have hope for a cure, dan. As you know, I myself have donated thousands to research towards a cure and continue to do so.

      The question is ... what does one do while waiting for that cure??!! For me, I cannot see why anybody would choose to suffer even one more day than absolutely necessary.

      And by not pursuing every reasonable avenue available today, in my mind that's what it comes down to - choosing to suffer.

      I apologize for my harsh words and realize that others may look at it differently. It's just one man's opinion - no more, no less.

      sp
       
    22. Steve H
      Creative

      Steve H Director Staff Benefactor Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      York, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Flu, Noise-induced, Jaw trauma
      I can see your point sp, and I agree with it in a way. But I would say that for newcomers to tinnitus it isn't so black and white. Sure, for those of us who've had it a while, we know that we can take our choices and we are fairly aware of the risks and beneficial strategies.

      In the early stages - and after an extreme spike - mental dominance over tinnitus just isn't that straight forward. Other processes take over and they have to be overcome before you can progress.
       
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    23. Dr. Nagler

      Dr. Nagler Member

      Location:
      Atlanta, Georgia USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1994
      I respectfully disagree.

      I am not talking here about mental dominance over tinnitus. If it were a question of mental dominance, then likely I'd still be the same basket case I was twenty years ago.

      I am sorry, Steve. I hold you in high regard for what you and your fellow moderators have done for the tinnitus community, but habituation doesn't have a damned thing to do with mental dominance.

      Moreover, there are folks on this board who have been suffering six months, a year, two years, five years, ten years, and more - yet they are still stuck in the starting blocks. You can't be suggesting that they are still in the "early stages," can you?

      Stephen Nagler
       
    24. Steve H
      Creative

      Steve H Director Staff Benefactor Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      York, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Flu, Noise-induced, Jaw trauma
      The way you put the point it sounded to me as if you were implying a sense of dominance over the tinnitus.

      I respect your opinion but I do feel that in order to achieve habituation you have to mentally overcome a few hurdles. In the early stages many of us are psychologically tormented, and if we cannot break free from that cycle then we cannot progress and become habituated. To achieve it I think we need to be in a different place psychologically, to change from the scared and worried state that we've nearly all found ourselves in.

      Overcoming that anxiety is part of the process of mentally / psychologically dominating and overriding those self destructive impulses, helping us to progress to habituation.
       
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    25. Hudson
      Cowboy

      Hudson Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      I agree with Steve H. This is not a case of "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" In order to accept tinnitus and view it as a non issue - i.e. giving it no reaction at all, we need to be in control of our anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, those are all too often common comorbidities with the tinnitus sufferer. You can't view tinnitus as non-issue until you address the fight or flight mechanisms in your brain that are sustaining the suffering. I think that is where psychiatric help can come in handy.
       
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    26. Dr. Nagler

      Dr. Nagler Member

      Location:
      Atlanta, Georgia USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1994
      Steve and Hudson, I look at the problem very differently.

      The wonderful thing about this board of yours ... is that folks can disagree here and remain civil about it.

      Best to all -

      Stephen Nagler
       
    27. Steve H
      Creative

      Steve H Director Staff Benefactor Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      York, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Flu, Noise-induced, Jaw trauma
      @Dr. Nagler I replied before your edit:

      The average time that people stay around the forum is a few months, most find that they have learnt to habituate - by whatever means - and they carry on with their life. Some also stay around to help others, to give something back to the place that helped them out.

      I've had mine for over 10 years and I have had a few spikes after successfully habituating. Each time it puts me back and I have to fight to get that habituation back. You will notice that long time sufferers on here (generality, there will always be exceptions) have had a recent spike, or have had something that has affected them and taken away the habituation they had for years, putting them into a changed psychological state.

      My opinion is that habituation, however you look at it, is intrinsically linked to psychological perception and state of mind.
       
    28. Hudson
      Cowboy

      Hudson Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      We appreciate your contributions to the board as well. Our first and foremost goal here is to remain civil and be a place where the tinnitus patient (not just those suffering) can turn to for support and up to date information. We always stress a professional medical opinion first and foremost for those who have recent onset. All too often there has been negativity and cynicism in the tinnitus community in the past. We are working hard to avoid that here.
       
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    29. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Nobody chooses to suffer. The only reasonable avenues available today are cognitive approaches.
      But as a doctor, you must know that for example, in some severe cases of depression cognitive approaches are not enough and the patient continues to suffer, and anti-depressants are needed. Well you also must know there are no anti-tinnitus drugs at the moment.
       
    30. Steve H
      Creative

      Steve H Director Staff Benefactor Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      York, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Flu, Noise-induced, Jaw trauma
      Agree, and that takes us nicely back to the title of the thread…..

      You have to find the right key to unlock what works for you. But positivity is absolutely the best thing you can have to help you do that.
       
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