Update: Three Years Ago My Tinnitus Worsened and It Has Not Positively Changed Since Then

Discussion in 'Support' started by missingsilence, Apr 1, 2020.

    1. missingsilence
      Depressed

      missingsilence Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Hell on Earth
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Who am I kidding, its got to be noise :/
      Hi guys!

      Hope everyone is hanging in there and coping as well as they can. I haven't posted anything for several months and a few weeks ago it was my three year permanent spike anniversary. Bottom line, since the night it got worse, it has not positively changed whatsoever.

      Overall, I am in a better place mentally, but not by much. I'd describe myself as semi-functional, but struggling with depression (medicated).

      Still feel guilty about the night it got worse, I went to a relatively small house party which changed my life. Oh well, hindsight is 50/50. Since then I've discovered some interesting things, my sister also has it, despite not being a partygoer. My mother and grandmother have it too. I have a feeling genetics really plays a role her.

      I've tried prednisone, Betaserc, anti-allergy meds, LLLT (laser) and none have really helped.

      These days I ask myself, will my life be worth it? I don't perform as well on an academic level as I used to and I'm quite lonely. Is there real hope that there will be something that will make this livable in the coming years? If not, can I still be successful and happy with all this?
       
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    2. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      Sorry @missingsilence

      This sucks. I was right where you were when I was 3-4 years in. I have found a combination of cognitive practices and drugs which allow me, at least at my current level of disability, to again have a pretty normal life and not think about this stuff more than maybe 3-5% of the time on most days -- but, getting there took a lot of exploration and effort and worry and money, and I am frankly not happy about the stack of pills I am taking (the shulman cocktail of klonopin + gabapentin for T, plus THC because I like it and it makes my sleep deeper and easier). Existing this way is simply vastly more pleasant than the years prior.

      We all have to find our own path and many people find some ways out of this maze over time that don't require aggressive drug use. Don't be afraid to try weird things, and, hang in there. There are treatments in the pipeline.

      Also, I'm sure you've noticed, plague world sucks, and we're all extra stressed by that.

      List of things I tried before resorting to going back on Klonopin:
      Acupuncture
      Physiotherapy
      Crainosacral therapy
      Barnes myofascial release of jaw and neck and shoulders
      MBSR class
      Daily meditation for weeks, meditation several times a week for months (and I still do this on and off, shooting for daily)
      Yoga (again, this is part of my basic life health maintenance)

      Reiki mushroom extract
      Melaltonin
      Valerian
      Passion Flower
      15 other supplements I am forgetting

      Trileptal
      Seroquel
      Campral
      Gabapentin by itself
      Cymbalta
      Trobalt
      Anti-virals
      A bunch of other drugs I am forgetting
      Microdose psilocybin
      Macrodose psilocybin
      Xyrem (GHB)
      Harmaline Extract
      Methoxetamine (MXE)
      3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA / Ecstasy) (very limited, single uses)
      n,n-dimethyltryptamine
      Several russian anti-anxiety drugs which are not available here
      CBD Isolate

      In each case I tried to do this as scientifically as possible, being patient, trying things for a while before deciding how well they worked, and only trying things in combination after trying them in isolation. This is why it took me years to burn through every other option before just sort of throwing my hands up and going back on Klonopin.
       
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    3. hans799
      Mellow

      hans799 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Hungary
      Tinnitus Since:
      Born with it
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Worsened Dec 2016 by headphones
      Yes. I have direct experience with Lenire, the first of the bimodal treatments to come on the market - it most definitely affects tinnitus. It's far from perfect but it definitely does something. Lenire will probably continue to be improved, and there are several more like it in the pipeline. I think we'll see releases of new or improved bimodal neuromodulation devices every year from now on.

      There are also several pharmaceuticals in the works. These might take a bit more time but should also become available in the mid-term future (3-5 years).

      Also, the ongoing coronavirus pandemic is horrible. But as a silver lining, it has nicely focused everyone's attention and funding on medical research. Hopefully this'll also spill over to tinnitus research, too.

      There's concrete hope now. Googlable companies, product names. Not just vapid promises like "in 10 years tinnitus will surely have a treatment" but actual, real stuff. It's not quite here yet but it's coming.
       
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    4. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      missingsilence
      Depressed

      missingsilence Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Hell on Earth
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Who am I kidding, its got to be noise :/
      Thank you for your messages. I will try to hold on somehow but I'm feeling that any hope for a happy life is gone. How do you cope? @hans799
       
    5. hans799
      Mellow

      hans799 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Hungary
      Tinnitus Since:
      Born with it
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Worsened Dec 2016 by headphones
      My main problem with tinnitus is its effect on my sleep and next-day performance. I hate HATE HATE being tired and sluggish and unable to work at my best. My tinnitus is low enough so that I can ignore it throughout the day, it's only a problem when I lie down at night.

      I cope by having set up my whole life to manage sleep and energy. I keep a strict sleep schedule, do a keto diet (which provides a lot more energy than non-keto diets), supplement and work out to maintain health. And my secret weapon is modafinil, a non-addictive and non-tolerance-inducing stimulant pill which can offset bad sleep when I have it. So even if all else fails I use this drug to force my brain to be awake anyway.

      All this serves to give me a sense of control. I can't control the tinnitus itself but I can control the effect that I hate and fear the most, insomnia/fatigue. And this, in turn, makes the tinnitus itself a lot more bearable, because I'm not completely at its mercy.

      I'd rate my tinnitus as an "annoyance" right now. I really don't like having it and it gives me a constant low-level baseline of anxiety but I'm fully functional and pretty successful and sometimes, even quite happy.

      ---

      If your personality is anything like mine (control freak), then the best thing you can do while we wait for treatment is identify the effects of tinnitus that bother you the most (loss of concentration? loss of sleep? whatever) and just do everything in your power to exercise control over these. Then, over time, we'll get working treatments too, and will be able to control the f@&king noise itself.
       
    6. Ferret

      Ferret Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sonoma County, CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      Just "celebrated" my 5-year T spike anniversary :rockingbanana:
      Like you, I don't think there has been much noticeable change on a physical level from when I stupidly took my earplugs out and subjected my ears to a sonic onslaught while seeing one of my favorite bands. Since then, it has been a daily struggle, made all the more so because the ringing is a constant reminder, "I did this horrible thing to myself by being a reckless turd!"

      But at this point, I've come around to believing that it's not the tinnitus per se that has had the most negative impact on my quality of life. It's that self-shame, the negative and limiting beliefs about myself to which the tinnitus has simply become a totem.

      I have friends who have chronic pain, migraines, etc. that cannot be resolved medically, and I feel like it's a comparable ailment in the sense that the main treatment is just raw human grit. When I need to give myself a pep talk, I don't tend to focus on hope for some medical breakthrough, but rather on inspirational stories about deaf composers, blind painters, handicapped mountaineers, etc.

      It takes practice and perseverance, but we all have the power to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves about the losses we've experienced and mistakes we've made. I wake up every day in the quiet of my room to a blaring siren in my head, but I know I can have a pretty satisfying day if I remember to respond to it with "there's my drill sergeant, time to get moving!" It's rarely so easy as that, but it puts more wind in my sails. Hopefully something about my story helps you out. Good luck, bud :)
       
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    7. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      I'm sure you will be fine. It just takes a while to adapt, but most people adapt to much worse conditions in life.

      If you live in a "rich" country one avenue you may pursue is getting any job that pays more or less ok, saving money and then moving to a cheaper country and tele-working. There are awesome places in this world and some of them are in countries people seldom visit, not touristy at all, cheap, with lots of space for every person... not "LA space" but real space in nature.
       

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