What Is Your Strategy?

Hi all,

Since this board is full of experienced people, I am seeking for advice. I got already much help here from those friendly persons.

Of course we all would like to get rid of T sooner or later, best immediately. But we know this can happen or can never happen. So we work (or better just live) towards habituation. Maybe we are lucky and there will be a cure some time in the future.

I have learned more or less everything about this condition. I have accepted it as music of the brain and that filters in my limbic system are debilitated and let the sound go through into my consciousness. Since T started in my head from 0 to 100 (caused by stress), of course I had and still have an aversive conditioned response. But still I do not see it as a normal sound which was always there, but an increased signal because of the loudness. If I would have had a dentist drill in my head before T onset, I would have recognized that.

So as everyone I am seeking for a solution. Speaking with psychologists about my life and what could be changed. I changed a lot and reduced external stress (family, work, private) as much as possible. Sometimes I think I reduced too much so that there is too much spare time thinking about T. I thought about changing my job, but because of my anxiety and internal stress I do not see this as an option currently. And by the way, I like my job and my colleagues. Currently I am working from home (and again here I sometimes think it would be better driving into the office - but avoid that because of anxiety and stress).

I am not looking for cures, not visiting any doctors (besides my GP once a months), not trying any vitamins. I eat and drink what I did before and do not avoid anything like for example coffeine. It has no effect on my T. I try to live my life as normal as possible (as before but with reduced external stress).

Listening to my T is still a big problem for me. So I mask with high pitched cricket sounds or ACRN. Best relief I can get is sleep at night. The next morning starts with depression again. I take meds against depression (Remeron) and I guess it helps taking the edge off. Anxiety has gone down a little bit. Nevertheless I sometimes could jump out of my skin. I took 3 times a Benzo in 8 months to calm me down.

People say stay busy. What does mean staying busy? Running away from T and distracting from T like crazy? I see this as another external stress. Dr. Hubbard says he mindfully accepted his T by listening to it more and more. Is that the right strategy?

If I read success stories on Yuku, many say it was just TIME. So will it be just time? Do I have to just go through my day (being aware of T 24/7) and there will be one time in the future T will no longer play a big role in my life? Do I just need doing this for some more months or even years (hard to believe)? Do I have to just have to resist anxiety and depression every day until things improve?

Some people say staying away from forums, not talking about T etc. has helped. I can try, but because of loudness I cannot just ignore that. Or will it work if I try very hard, even for loud T? So the only strategy I see is "live with it", it sucks, but there is no other choice. And hope that my overactive neurons settle down sometime in the future.

Sorry for the long text but I would be interested in your opinion and your strategy?

Prayers for everyone and all the best,
Martin

PS: I even cannot tell if my T has changed from the beginning or even if I feel better or not. People tell me I look better than months ago. But inside me, my depression tells me something different.

 

No strategy. Just going with the flow and maintaining a good diet.

 

The first time T hit me, I was on maternity leave and going back to work after baby helped to speed up my habituation.

My T was mild, most everyday sounds covered it.

I had a relapse 2 months ago. The T got MUCH louder and my stress levels as well (took ototoxic meds). I was hearing the T above everything, even the shower, even in my car, almost always.

I talked a lot to myself. In 2008, I was able to habituate and I lived with T for 6 years and NEVER listened to it, never masked it, even in silence. So this time, yes it was hard but I decided that I would habituate once again...

Last month, I thought about suicide and how my life sucked. I have 3 young children. Suicide is NOT an option.

And you know what? My T is louder but it's ok! I'm starting to habituate once again and because of that, it seems like it's fading.... I spend hours not listening to it, not hearing it. Life is slowly getting back to normal. I'm on TT because I want to help others, like you...

 

@ampumpkin, Thanks for the kind words. Suicide is also no option for me, although I oftentimes think how to live with this dentist drill even one minute longer. So I guess you are not masking, however loud it is?

 

Hey Martin,

So I could ramble on this topic forever, but I will keep it brief. Keep in mind this is just my opinion based on my experience with T and habituation.

First, habituation (I used to hate that word, but now I am good with it!) look different for everyone and occurs by numerous different means. What works for one person, is useless to another. It is a process, that does take time and effort. We all have to experiment and explore various coping mechanisms, therapies, treatments, regiments, etc... until we arrive at what works best for each one of us. That's why Tinnitus Talk (TT) is so awesome!! You have at your fingertips access to real people, at all stages on the journey with T, sharing ideas and experiences!!

For me, habituation closely followed the clinical Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. I didn't realize it at the time, but as I look back on my journey to habituation, it is patently clear!! Of course, the 4th stage Depression is the hardest, and where many of us get mired (I did for a spell).

So, again my opinion, an essential ingredient in habituation is dealing with depression. Sounds like you are actively working on that already!! Great job and keep it up! To move from stage 4 to 5 (Acceptance), we have to get emotionally and psychologically STABILIZED. Again, various ways of achieving that. Initially, the proper meds in conjunction with seeing a solid Psych ca be of great help in getting stabilized. SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP!!!!! You have to establish a regular (as you can) sleep pattern. In my experience, it was sleep deprivation that was the biggest contributor to my depression and anxiety. Once I got that figured out, things got much better fast.

To get my sleep on, I started exercising more and regularly. I mixed it up and started exercising in a way that also engaged the mind, to make my body and brain naturally tired (trail running & martial arts). I ate dinner early, and spent (still do) the evening doing stretching and breathing exercises. A cup of Sleepytime tea (sometimes with a splash of bourbon!). I listen to Chinese Pan Flute music as a soft mask, and initially I changed up where I slept. For months I actually slept on the couch instead of my bed (as my brain equated my bed with NOT being able to sleep). The couch became my refuge for sleep! Plus I was forced to wake up in the a.m. by my 3 boys bounding into the living room each morning at 6 am!!!

I said I wouldn't ramble (already have, sorry!), so I will end with this; once you get your depression under control and get into a solid sleep pattern, you will be very equipped to take that big step to Acceptance!! Your brain will start to chill out, and you will have clarity to see the GOOD stuff in your life and find and embrace joy!! It's possible Martin!! I am proof! (Done rambling)

If you want to read more; here's my post from January: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/habituate.3120/

I really do wish you Peace and Relief SOON!!!

Best,

Jeff

 

I day at a

 

Leah, so right! Take it one day at a time!! Worrying about the future can compound depression and paralyze.

 

All i can say Martin is try not to mask, i found that just letting my T scream, and scream at me it helped my brain get used to the noise ... i do at times go to my room and cry and cry, so demented with listening to the bloody shit going on inside my head, but i think it's working as either my T has got quieter or i'm starting to habituate?

 

I have 'T' for 24 years. The last ten years have been great. I thought I had it made. But this insidious noise is back. I wonder why? Always protected my ears, Eat okay, blah blah blah.. But there is no why . That is what irks me. I realize I need to move on. I will habituate again! Just venting. Thank you for listening.

 

I tried to go it alone for a month after my ENT blew me off--finally had a meltdown--came here --got some advice and then some meds for sleep and anxiety from my GP. My anxiety was through the roof as I'd only been sleeping 2-3 hours a night for a month and working 40 hours a week. I developed a strategy. I went into CBT therapy and took an anxiety toolkit class that lasted six weeks. I take Xanax--a very low dose three times a day. I had bloodwork to rule out thyroid, diabetes, etc. I had an MRI to rule out any tumors as I have unilateral tinnitus. I just started my 8th month. I am sitting here typing with no masking and I can hear by tinnitus but it doesn't bother me tonight. I stopped masking at work and I try to only mask when I feel myself getting too annoyed. I am no longer fearful of tinnitus. It is a neutral neurological signal that cannot hurt me. It is not personal, it just is. Sometime I don't hear it when I'm busy working or engaged, and sometimes it is very low--maybe one or two days a week. I have taken back my life with the help of the veterans here, Dr. Nagler's advice and my GP--who is a wonderful, caring physician. I still have bad days--each day still is a challenge sometimes but I am living my life and when I get too down, I come here and I post and the members lift me up and keep me going on the road to habituation...I even named my tinnitus as I read that people with chronic pain name it to help in managing it. I talk to 'sylvie'. I'm starting to habituate. That's my strategy. I hope it can help you.

 

Fantastic Kathi, i'm so, so happy for you ... you go girl, i'm moving along too.

 

Thanks carol...you and I are the same T age . It's comforting that we don't have to make this journey alone and that the generous people who came before are still here to help us. I'm so happy you are making progress too!

 

Thanks Kathi, i'm slowly moving on, i'm still coming to terms with this affliction and i still long for my old life back, but i know i can never have it back, i still haven't told everyone in my life about this and find myself telling little white lies when asked to go to the cinema, or the Theatre, i just couldn't put myself at risk so i make lame excuses to friends as to why i can't make it!!! i'm just not ready to tell everyone i don't want to spoil any ones fun, so i opt out of most things now.
I wish you a quiet evening and send you my best wishes, God bless.

 

@Martin69 I don't mask it unless it's very annoying... I'm in my living room right now, I hear it and it's fine, i'm focused on something else.

 

Ultimately that is all we can do, learn to accept.
My search to find my cure beginners with me.
Tried everything else, must follow the wisdom on the board today and take my life back.

 

such wise words...

 

@Martin69

Do you have hearing loss? If you do, even if it's minor, then get a pair of hearing aids for tinnitus that include a masker. If you don't have hearing loss, you might try wearing some type of masking device for tinnitus with white or pink noise. (You can also use an iPod or mp3 player with a open ear bud. See my link below.) The external noise may give you some relief from the tinnitus. Most people, myself included, find it easier to work when they have something else to listen to besides their tinnitus. In addition, the white or pink noise will eventually work to calm your brain down. One of the reasons you're so unhappy is that your brain is in "fight or flight" mode so it's focused on your tinnitus 24/7. That's just not good for you, and it will make habituation more difficult. But if your brain hears a sound similar to your tinnitus it may help your brain relax on a subconscious level. As your brain begins to accept your tinnitus as normal, it will be easier for you to reclaim your life.

Of course, you should continue your antidepressant and anti-anxiety medicine as prescribed by your doctor. Your brain may need a year or more before it's habituated to your tinnitus. But you may start feeling better within a few weeks. And make sure you get enough sleep. If you have trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor. Not getting enough sleep is stressful and will magnify your tinnitus and worsen your mood.

For the masking device, make sure it is not loud. You want to hear your tinnitus over it. And if your tinnitus is very loud, be cautious how loud you put your masker. You want your masker to be like a whisper, but still loud enough to distract you.

You can use ear buds like AirDrives. They won't occlude your ear canal and thus are a safer way to listen to masking sounds or even your favorite music.

Here's an Amazon link; but I'm sure you can get these in Germany too:

http://www.amazon.com/AirDrives-INA99001-Headphones-Earphones-Blue/dp/B002NU4ZME/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1402026100&sr=1-1&keywords=blue airdrives​

Here's a link for sleeping ideas that may help you. Most people with tinnitus have sleep problems:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...e-supplements-medication-etc.4509/#post-44510​

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!

 

Wow. So many answers in such a short time.
This board is really great and full with so amazing people.

@Jeff M.: Thanks for your excellent words again.
Yes. I am in the depression state. I oftentimes don't know if T caused my depression or if my life is in general a problem. But I have a great wife, two boys (who of course make lots of trouble) and my job is ok. The problem in the past was that I was fully exhausted because of all the things I did in my life. This caused T. I had a total physically and mentally breakdown. You can understand that accepting this new condition together with T was and still is the hardest thing I ever came across. And I also had some difficult stuff in the past.

Sleep is luckily no problem. I take Mirtazapin and I was always a robust sleeper. I sleep 8-9 hours without interruption. Sleep is relief for me and I always look forward to sleeping. Harder is getting up in the morning, but I push myself out of bed.

@carol kane: It is 11 AM here in Germany and I haven't masked today yet. Normally I put my headset directly on. I can of course here my T but I try to resist it. It is good to know that I am not alone. Of course I would not wish this condition even to my biggest enemy.

@Kathi: Thanks Kathi. Thanks for sharing your strategy. I think you are on an excellent way. Sometimes I think I am not far away from your state. Mine is called 'RINGO'.

@jazz: Thanks also for your kind words again. Yes. I have hearing loss in the higher frequencies (slope pattern starting at 6kHz). I was told it is age-related. I tried hearing aids and they gave me little more input in the higher frequencies. But they did not do very much for me. I also tried combined devices (hearing aid and white noise). White noise does not help for this high-pitched T. I am better with my IPOD listening to crickets, radio etc.

I take maximum dose of Mirtazapin (45 mg). This helps for sleep, against my depression and anxiety. So I will keep this up. If I am freaking out, I try calming myself down. Or at worst, take a benzo (Tavor).

Thanks again to you all. This helps a lot on my journey towards habituation.
Take care and all the best for you all.
Martin

 

Yes. That is what helps most. Thinking about all the negative scenarios which could come doesn't help and just drives you crazy.

I will try not masking today. 11 AM here in Germany and I listen to my T. I will get used to this and habituate.

 

@ampumpkin: Excellent words. Yes, we are here to help each other. T so loud that you hear above the shower is really loud. Sometimes that's the same for me.

3 young children with all their problems together with T is a battle. I have two boys (7 and 11) and my wife is working full-time (running her own company). She has to carry a big package currently. I have done everything for our family in the past (washing, household, shopping) besides my own job. When my T and depression started, she had to do many things I did before. But I slowly start doing those things again.

I am curious: What do you mean by "I talked a lot to myself"?

 

@Martin69 Have you ever thought about taking a break from forums regarding T. Sure there is a lot of support but there is a lot of anxiety here as well. For me a turning point was when i started focus on other things. Picked up my long distance running again. That helped me a lot. Every step was a truggle in the beginning but forcing myself to take a run was worth it.

 

Hi Nick.
Yes, I thought about many times - like I guess everyone.
On the one side I get excellent support here. On the other side, this keeps me concentrating on my T.
But my T is that loud that it consumes still most of my time anyway - unfortunately.
Maybe I should look for another hobby...
I am really happy for you that you recovered.
And yes, running or riding the bike would be a much better option than staying in the forums.
Also I go to the driving range which distracts me.
I will think about it.
Best regards,
Martin

PS: Big problem is that I work in tech support.
So I am on the Internet more or less 24/7. That makes not looking into TT much more difficult.

 

I work using the internet myself so i understand your problems regarding this. First i would like to say that i am not recovered, the sound still annoys me but i am not as anxious that i was during the first months. Read your posts here and you seem to be pretty much of a natural worrier like myself.
Regarding the T forums, the comfort is the positive part but it´s very easy to get dragged way down when reading about others anxiety, i found that reading some posts here just triggers and feeding it more and more.
After the time you have spent on here i am sure that you know everything there is to know about T and probably more than that, correct me if a aim worong here. Reading and posting here will not help you much further i think, to move on you need to break the circle.

Just my opinion.

 

I tried to convince myself that I was gonna get over this...

 

All opinions help. Sorry regarding the recovery. I confused with someone else. Sorry.
Yes. Probably I know, like most here, more about T than most ENTs.
Regarding staying here, I think it helps me during my struggle. Because my T doesn't change whether I am here or not. I really don't know if staying away longer would help. Everyone has his own strategy.
Ignoring T, not listening to it, not reading or posting about it is not the worst strategy I am sure.

 

No need to be sorry Martin. Since you say you are so full of anxiety, reading and posting about it sure ads to the obesession about T and the anxiety. Not an easy thing to do.

 

Just another thought about using forums for info and support, I can honestly say I would have been to the ER of worse without this forum. When I have a huge spike (like right now) reading how everyone has had this happens and coping techniques helps calm me. Mine T is also so loud I hear in all the time and hard to mask on my own. I would LOVE to think that habitation is on its way, does visiting the board and such slow it down or stop it? I use my hearing aids only cause I have T, take certain vitamins protect ears etc, dothose daily habits keep T in front on my thoughts too?

 

Martin
You bring up good points about T (and the struggle); I did not habituate for almost a year -- then it all just kind of clicked in one week (strange). I didn't even really understand the concept of habituation at the time. However, it's not a good idea to get caught up in the amount of time it takes to habituate -- since it is intrinsically an individual journey (some fast, some slow).

I picked up on your statement about it being a 'normal' sound; in my opinion it will never be a normal sound. My T is screaming right now and there is no way I can hear it as normal -- and I never expect to (hear it as normal). Nonetheless, I've accepted the fact that I live with an odd sound and, therefore, I don't react to it anymore. T is odd; that is literally the best thing I can say about it -- if I said the worst about it this post would be rated R . The point being, at some point in my life (and not necessarily an intentional or even cognitive point) I simply stopped reacting to it. I observe it at times, I comment on it, I notice it, I talk about it, I never think it is right or normal; but I just can't bring myself to react to it anymore.

I've found we live with many oddities in our lives that we can do nothing about -- and we don't react to them; granted, T is in a class of its own because it can be controlling and annoying but habituation is not a far fetched dream -- and it will be your reality in time.

You will get there -- as hard as it is to believe, you will get there. I didn't think I would ever improve, then it just kind of happened one week -- oddly, it happened after the worst spike I'd ever had (thought I bought the big one). It's such and individual thing.

I always thought T was like that odd neighbor that lives two doors down the street (we all know that neighbor); not much can be done about them -- best not to react to them or focus on them too much (things will go all wrong). They are odd (indeed) yet we live with them all the same.

Like you, I worked at rearranging my life around T. I found it very productive and in good character to learn about points of stress in my life (job, responsibilities, etc.) and make 'some' adjustments; but the important thing that I learned was that it was more about how I dealt with them verses how much I could change or control them. I finally acquiesced to the fact that stress and causes of anxiety will always be there (in one form or another) and that it was more about how I dealt with them (I'm sort of high-strung and tend to fight things). I learned that rearranging my life was only effective to a point (there's a law of diminishing returns there).

I found the intrinsic problem with rearranging your life around T is that it plays right into the hands of what I call the focus-conundrum. You don't want to focus on T but all your efforts end up causing you to focus on your T (and, in fact, actually put it in charge).

Habituation, on the other hand, calls on the power of apathy; you just can't even bring yourself to care anymore. So, I divorced my T and gave back the 'ring' (except T threw it in my face so I still have the ring ).

You will habituate; in your time...until then

Prayers!

Mark

 

@Martin69

Not caring about your tinnitus is really key. It will take a while, but it will happen. Just tell your tinnitus to "get lost." Don't listen to it. I understand this is not easy. It takes practice. For me, it took over six months. But I was determined to get my life back and not be a prisoner to my tinnitus. So I kept telling myself I didn't care. That my tinnitus didn't matter. And I meant it. Then I would do something I liked. And I wouldn't let myself stop and listen to my noise. Of course, I heard my noise. It can get pretty loud, even now. But hearing it in the background is not the same as "listening" for it. Don't listen. You'll get better and better at it. You will still get setbacks, but over time you can retrain your brain.

You have the power to habituate.

 

Hi Leah. I guess I cannot give you the right answers. Maybe the T veterans can. But here are some opinions.
I also had hearing aids, but gave them back. Because I can hear everything in the lower frequencies perfectly fine.
I felt uncomfortable using them just because of T. Because without T, I would have never used them. Of course they gave me more input in the higher frequencies. But it didn't stopped me from listening to T.
I tried white noise generators, but they were of no help for my high-pitched sound.
I do not take any vitamins or anything special because of T. I drink coke, eat salty chips etc. But on average I eat healthy as it was before.
I do not avoid loud places or wear ear plugs. It is more the opposite, that loud places give me residual inhibition for some time. So T goes down. So I do not give T any special room.
Things that have changed are: I visit this forum daily and maybe too often for seeking help and helping others. I work less in my job. And I listen to cricket sounds. I need to say that yesterday I went through the whole day without masking. Very difficult.
Thes are habits I really need to overcome this.
Being here in the forum right now relaxes me. Because I am busy with thinking and writing.
But I do the things I would have normally done without T.
This is still not easy when you hear this sound over anything causing anxiety.